re: desperately need help! how do I tell him I want to keep the

<blockquote><b>Quoting Juliette:</b>" Why shy yall go and have an ultrasound. Make him go with you. Maybe seeing the baby will help. The cry and tell him you can't do it. Lol. Crying usually gets my hubby."</blockquote>




That's actually a good idea.

If you go threw with the abortion for his selfish reasons, you could regret it and hold resentment against him. IN the end the relationship may not work out then youll have huge guilt over choosing him over contining your pregnancy. I get that he is scared and 3 kids are a lot financially but if your wanting to keep this baby then you shouldn't be forced to choose.

Ive been keeping up with your posts and i really feel for you because i was in a similar situation myself. my fiance was in jail when i found out however. he had just died a month earlier and been brought back to life then put in jail . he told me immediately to get an abortion. i told him that i loved him but if i had to do it alone i would and that i was keeping the baby because i already loved it. he eventually got used to the idea by the time i was around 15 weeks and was excited even after he gave me the ultimatum of him or the baby he came to accept the fact that it was going to happen whether he wanted it to or not. he told me he was just scared and he didnt know what to expect. Now 11 months later he is sober as a whistle has his life together and is a fantastic dad. your boyfriend sounds like he has trust issues as you stated before. my fiance said things like he said and it was all out of anger and the unknown. if you want to keep this baby then that is your choice. i would not let anyone else make that choice for you. he may eventually warm up to the idea after the initial freak out stage. good luck and let us know how everything works out 

idk i think its bullsmurf, you are not trapping him he had sex-im presuming voluntarily with you. Im sure he understands even if you were on bc that there is always a chance.

aborting is not something to be taken lightly, and if you already feel like you know you cant do it, then dont. tell him you are keeping it and he can be in as a family or out.

Also if it comes down to it dont give up on support just because he didnt want the kid in the first place, he is a grown up who made decisions all on his own, you and your baby dont need to suffer because he doesnt want to own up to his decisions.

not to mention wtf about shredding it up and forgetting about it? id smurfing slap him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting KrisTeeAndPea:</b>" Ive been keeping up with your posts and i really feel for you because i was in a similar situation myself. ... [snip!] ... he may eventually warm up to the idea after the initial freak out stage. good luck and let us know how everything works out "</blockquote>




Thank you. I just get so down on myself sometimes and I fee like in not doing anything right.
Like for the children...
I'm an optimist. Where there's a will, there's a way.
But he makes me feel like keeping this baby is the end of the world.
I'm sorry you went through something similar. Its super stressful.

Oh and just for the record. I am never taking the both control pill again!!!
I took it EVERY day at the same time abs it still failed

<blockquote><b>Quoting **Hanna**:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting KrisTeeAndPea:</b>" Ive been keeping up with your posts and ... [snip!] ... just for the record. I am never taking the both control pill again!!! I took it EVERY day at the same time abs it still failed"</blockquote>




I just never want to go throughsomething like this again

<blockquote><b>Quoting cunning cuniculi:</b>" not to mention wtf about shredding it up and forgetting about it? id smurfing slap him. "</blockquote>




Yeah...he said that right after we had sex last night...
Like a were holding each other and talking...
When he said that...he had to of felt me cringe.
Because I physically cringed.
And then I had a smurf ruin of nightmares about him and his mom forcing me to abort.

Quoting **Hanna**:" <blockquote><b>Quoting KrisTeeAndPea:</b>" Ive been keeping up with your posts and ... [snip!] ... just for the record. I am never taking the both control pill again!!! I took it EVERY day at the same time abs it still failed"

oh i know exactly what your feeling sometimes i feel like i could do better but i am doing the best i can with what im given right now. dont be down on yourself im sure your doing just fine. it may just be this situation thats making you feel this way or just your boyfriends attitude. i know i felt alot of resentment towards my fiance at first when he told me to get the abortion. now he tells me hes sorry for ever ever saying that to me because our son is the best gift i could have ever given him. and about the pill ha long story short i was on it for about 6 years and was fine then i missed two pills one week and what do you know my son was made ha. im back on them now though and i take them so religiously. theyre even in my sons crib so i take them when i put him in bed at night lol call me crazy but it works

He said you have a decision to keep the baby or get out in 30 days. Yeah, i'd be looking for somewhere to stay. No way in smurfing hell would I want to be with a man like that. I'd rather live on the streets then be with a douche like him. Ugh, I'm so sorry. I'd be looking for somewhere to stay and when you find somewhere, that's when I'd tell him. He sounds crazy like he'd try pushing you down to make you have a miscarriage so that you couldn't keep the baby.  

Im so sorry you are going through this....dont let anyone force you to abort.....listen to your heart! Better to be alone with your children and happy than to stay with him and live with regret!!!!

Quoting **Hanna**:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Juliette:</b>" I'd just tell him you narrative decision and ... [snip!] ... with him he might get upset. Is there a nicer way to put it...like ease into it? Instead of just bluntly, I'm keeping it."

Don't get just factual then, use emotive language and bring it back to you.

I.e: I feel
I need

Just be honest most importantly. Re-iterate why you want this baby and how it is not to spite him or to take money from him. Don't try and trick him into wanting this, it won't work out the way your want it to if you do.

I support your choice no matter what and it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Would you keep this baby, even if he leaves? Honestly, you already know his feelings on the matter so it's not a case of keeping the baby (you've already made up your mind), it's case of preparing your self to leave. He might change his mind but it doesn't sound that way.

If you have your mind set up then go with it. I know u musy love him alot but its a baby we are talking about. You want that baby more then anything and his not willing to let u keep it then leave him . You can do it with or without him. What happened to him is not ur fault. God bless you at every moment of your life :@) xoxoxoxo

I have been in your exact position, coming from experience I would like to tell you that if you want to keep it then do so. You will most likely regret it if you don't do what you feel you want to do. I understand your SO wants you to do other things, but you need to think about your self also. I know its hard to tell someone what you want when they want the opposite, but if it is really what you want you should stand your ground. You wouldn't want to live with regret, I lived with regret for years and it sucked. I honestly would hate to see someone go through what I went through and deal with the pain I dealt with. I hope you do what you want to do and things work out for you. Good luck.

<blockquote><b>Quoting SweetBabyKate:</b>" You tell him what I told my ex who is having nothing to do with our baby girl: "You could be gone in ... [snip!] ... and you know what he left anyway. If I'd gone through with the abortion I would be all alone without even my sweet baby girl. "</blockquote>

Love that saying.
Mamma, you follow your heart and get your balls together and stick to your guns. Its your body your baby, your life and if he wants no part tell him to kick rocks.