re: What is the prob?longg vent

My personal opinion if you feel you need to hide it, you shouldn't be doing it. I don't talk to guys behind SO's back, if a guy friend messages me on FB or what not, I tell him about it. Not because I feel I HAVE to, but it is because I respect him. He also has all my passwords and I have his. I don't feel the need to snoop through his accounts cause that is his personal space. Also all of my guy friends are either his friends too or family, same with his girl friends.

Quoting *Turtles*:" It's hard to have a relationship without trust. In my case I am willing to work it out with my SO because ... [snip!] ... the thing that bugs me is he won't allow me to talk to anyone of the opposite sex. I refuse to feel like I am being controlled."

Exactly, which is what bugged me about this thread. That's how it's coming across, imo. NO ONE wants to be or should be controlled or told who they can or cannot talk to.

Quoting ☾BizzyBee♉:" Exactly, which is what bugged me about this thread. That's how it's coming across, imo. NO ONE wants to be or should be controlled or told who they can or cannot talk to. "

I think it would be a deal breaker for me if he continues this crap.

OP watch this guy's videos. He is very good on relationship advice.
This is just one of his many videos.

Quoting *Nov.13*:" I didn't say flirting. Just that he talks to girls that he just met saying " how is she, where does she ... [snip!] ... was " how have you been? I have been rocky with things." " I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been thinking about you""

That's bullsmurf that all he is doing is friendly conversation and you expect him to tell you when he talks to girl friends. Seriously.... that's controlling. I am sorry but I am not going to take your side on this, no one should be all "Hey hun, I talked to my female friend today. Just so you know!" when it's just shooting the smurf.

Quoting *Nov.13*:" I didn't say flirting. Just that he talks to girls that he just met saying " how is she, where does she ... [snip!] ... was " how have you been? I have been rocky with things." " I haven't talked to you in awhile, I have been thinking about you""

I am getting confused.. You just said he was flirting or implied it..

He used to drink every day until he found out about the fatty liver. His doc says not to drink AT ALL! So I have been helping not too, especially when we don't have extra money to be spending because of the baby on the way. He drinks like a two beers a week... But when we go over to a friends house he wants to party hard and drink liquor . I tell him not to because I have to deal with him arguing over something. He picks fights

OP if he's NOT flirting with these women then I see no problem why he can't continue to talk to them. I forgot to ask, but why are you snooping?

<blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" That's bullsmurf that all he is doing is friendly conversation and you expect him to tell you when he ... [snip!] ... this, no one should be all "Hey hun, I talked to my female friend today. Just so you know!" when it's just shooting the smurf."</blockquote>




I'm looking for advice not for you to put me down! So move on from this.

Quoting *Nov.13*:" He used to drink every day until he found out about the fatty liver. His doc says not to drink AT ALL! ... [snip!] ... to party hard and drink liquor . I tell him not to because I have to deal with him arguing over something. He picks fights"

2 beers a week?! I don't think 2 beers would even do much.. I know you mentioned his doctor said to not have ANY, but 2 beers shouldn't really do much harm. .I don't think so anyway.


I am going to be straight with you and I don't mean to sound rude or harsh, but you seem to be very controlling in every aspect of his life.

Quoting *Nov.13*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting FroggysMommy:</b>" That's bullsmurf that all he is doing is ... [snip!] ... it's just shooting the smurf."</blockquote> I'm looking for advice not for you to put me down! So move on from this."

I don't think she's trying to be rude, she's just being straight with you.

I not. It's like when I just look to see what he has been up to. Not trying to find something... Out of couriousty I do find stuff that I'm not happy with. Like I said I wanted to message my bro, and there was unread message from a girl...

Quoting *Turtles*:" 2 beers a week?! I don't think 2 beers would even do much.. I know you mentioned his doctor said to ... [snip!] ... be straight with you and I don't mean to sound rude or harsh, but you seem to be very controlling in every aspect of his life."

This. And yet I am here trying to tell her that it's complete crap that she's wanting to dictate who he talks to.... and she tells me to move on? She only wants support?

Well now we know why she has issues. If things don't go her way she throws a hissy fit. Blows things out of proportion. Controls the situation until its to HER liking. That's how I see it.

I mean seriously, her SO talking friendly to a girl? As a FRIEND and not flirting, and not liking it? Controlling. Saying 2 beers a week is too much? Controlling. Dictating what can be said in her thread? CONTROLLING! lol

Quoting FroggysMommy:" This. And yet I am here trying to tell her that it's complete crap that she's wanting to dictate who ... [snip!] ... it? Controlling. Saying 2 beers a week is too much? Controlling. Dictating what can be said in her thread? CONTROLLING! lol"

In the beginning I was confused, but now that she has said he's not flirting made me change my mind. I still think she should leave either way since she doesn't trust him.

OP you need to be able to trust your SO. You need to either leave or work on your issues with the lack of trust going on.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Turtles*:</b>" 2 beers a week?! I don't think 2 beers would even do much.. I know you mentioned his doctor said to ... [snip!] ... be straight with you and I don't mean to sound rude or harsh, but you seem to be very controlling in every aspect of his life."</blockquote>




Yeah I don't have a problem with two beers. I just have a problem with him drinking too much and fighting with me. I don't command or demand that he cat do this or that. I ask him nicely and suggest that I am not happy with it, and he tells me " okay I won't do it." Or " sorry" or something in that catagory. I on the other hand get told off if I talk to another guy and asked a million questions. I don't ask details about the convos. He tells me and that is that.