DD hates me :'(

My 5 year old DD hates me. :'( She screams and cries at bedtime when it is my turn to put her to bed. (My DH and I take turns putting each kid to bed, I put my DS to bed the night he puts my DD to.bed and reversed the next night) She refuses to get dressed, throws herself on the floor and screams at me. When I try to help get her dressed she kicks me, spits at me, punches me, screams at me. I am a SAHM, when she isn't in kindergarten she is with me. It started happening about a week ago, I am sure no one has hurt her and nothing has changed in her life (no deaths, no marital problems, no one new coming into her life) and from both her teacher and her accounts she is enamored with school and is not being hurt, bullied, teased, etc. Our bedtime routine has been the same (including what time it starts and ends at) for over a year and before that it was earlier but the same routine. Help. I am heartbroken. She kicked me in the ribs so hard I think she bruised me. I want my baby girl to go back to the way she was. (Literally crying on my bed curled in the fetal position) Any advice welcome.

Does she only act this way when you put her to bed?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Does she only act this way when you put her to bed?"</blockquote>

Yes, the rest of the day she is herself.

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Does she only act this way when you put her to bed?"</blockquote> Yes, the rest of the day she is herself."

Im assuming she's okay with her dad putting her to bed. Some kids just have a preferred parent when it comes to certain things. Both of mine will not let their dad put them to bed.

Have you and your husband tried putting her to bed together?

When she is calm ask her why she acts the way that she does at bedtime.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Rice:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Does she only act this way when you put her to bed?"</blockquote> Yes, the rest of the day she is herself."</blockquote>


Maybe put her to bed with DH? Or if she prefers your DH to put her to bed..then just let DH put her to bed?


My boys are like that..they only want me to put them to bed..they fight DH on going to sleep.

OMG she spits on you and kicks you that hard. Honestly if she was mine I would make her go to bed an hour earlier than her brother for the way she acts. I understand kids having temper tantrums but she def needs to know it is not ok to spit on people. I may have a little bit of a harsher way to parent but I could not tolerate those actions. I never hit my children but I do use time out and taking away privaledges as punishment. Also maybe when she is calmed down in the morning you could have a talk with her and find out if anything is bothering her. There may actually be a reason shes acting like that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Im assuming she's okay with her dad putting her to bed. Some kids just have a preferred parent when ... [snip!] ... things. Both of mine will not let their dad put them to bed. Have you and your husband tried putting her to bed together?"</blockquote>

The past week he has ended up taking over because it breaks my heart for her to treat me that way. I miss cuddling next to her and reading to her at night. She does just fine with her dad. Does it make your DH/SO feel bad that they won't let him put them to bed? It makes me feel like a horrible mother. :'(

<blockquote><b>Quoting melissa_83:</b>" OMG she spits on you and kicks you that hard. Honestly if she was mine I would make her go to bed an ... [snip!] ... could have a talk with her and find out if anything is bothering her. There may actually be a reason shes acting like that. "</blockquote>

She always just says she wanted her daddy not me. :'(

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting melissa_83:</b>" OMG she spits on you and kicks you that hard. ... [snip!] ... may actually be a reason shes acting like that. "</blockquote> She always just says she wanted her daddy not me. :'("

Hey if thats what she wants then have her dad put her to bed. Its not worth her getting all upset to the point where shes physically abusive towards you. It not only hurts your feelings but im sure it takes her awhile to calm down also. My older two kids tend to lean towards their dad to help them with things but my youngest is attached to me at my hip.

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" Im assuming she's okay with her dad putting ... [snip!] ... her dad. Does it make your DH/SO feel bad that they won't let him put them to bed? It makes me feel like a horrible mother. :'("

Don't feel bad, she doesn't hate you. She just wants her daddy to put her to bed.

M doesn't feel bad because there are things that the kids will only want to do with him and not with me. They think of him more as the parent to play with and to teach them things. They see me as a hands on parent (baths, getting their food, getting dressed, etc) That's probably because he's military and he's spent a good amount of time away.

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting melissa_83:</b>" OMG she spits on you and kicks you that hard. ... [snip!] ... may actually be a reason shes acting like that. "</blockquote> She always just says she wanted her daddy not me. :'("

She's a daddy's girl. She loves you, trust me but its something about girls and their fathers. My daughter clings to M more than she does to me.

Quoting Jas ♥:" Im assuming she's okay with her dad putting her to bed. Some kids just have a preferred parent when ... [snip!] ... things. Both of mine will not let their dad put them to bed. Have you and your husband tried putting her to bed together?"

 

When I put DD to bed, she doesn't like it. She wants me to lay with her.
She also doesn't go to sleep. She gets out of bed, pulls everything clothing owns out of her drawers and sits there playing with them. And other things.

When DH puts her to bed, she doesn't move from the spot he lays her down on and is out like a light in minutes. DH knows his role there. He also puts her in timeout, she listens to me, but its more effected when he does it.
Just gotta pick your battles I guess.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" She's a daddy's girl. She loves you, trust me but its something about girls and their fathers. My daughter clings to M more than she does to me."</blockquote>

It just makes me sad. I loved cuddling next to her and reading to her.

Quoting Mama Rice:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" She's a daddy's girl. She loves you, trust ... [snip!] ... to M more than she does to me."</blockquote> It just makes me sad. I loved cuddling next to her and reading to her."

I know hun. I hate it when they grow up. My almost 4 year old isn't much of a cuddler anymore either.