I have a special needs child myself, and I know how tough it can be. I have said a prayer for you and your children.
Focus on the Family has counselors that can speak with you over the phone for free -- you might consider giving them a call. The number is 1-855-771-HELP (4357). I know that during my time working with Focus, I've found their counselors to a great source of guidance and support. There is also an article on their website about parenting special needs children that might be helpful: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/parenting_a_special_needs_child.aspx?refcd=88704&p=1157699
Hang in there -- I agree with the previous poster that you sound like a strong lady.
God bless you!