I cant go on

I never knew I could hurt this bad. I lost my baby Girl on Sept 2. I went into labor at 36wks. I knew she wouldn't make it. I had the news since I was 21wks I thought I was working through it until I actually had her. It's a haunting thought to Imagine your own child gasping for air. Trying to breath and hearing her struggle. I am so smurfing pissed. The doctors and myself included did NOTHING to help her or ease her pain!!! I know they said there was nothing they could but I am still so angry that they didn't even try. I am angry that she suffer so much. I see my family and their lack of general concern anger me so smurfing much. I want to scream at them this was my smurfing baby Girl my previous little angel and none of you stupid smurfing smurfs gave a smurf. You all showed up for the funeral just to make It about yourselves. I wish it was overreacting even a little about that but Im not. I just want someone to let me fall apart. Tell no u don't have to be strong. It's like oh Yeah say that smurf to me but your kids are still at home alive!!! Tell me how strong you would after all the bullsmurf I've gone thru my whole life and then losing my baby Girl. Holding her until she went cold. I just want her back in my arms so much. I'm sorry this is all over place but I needed to get it out

I am so sorry for your loss.  

I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*  

Thanks. I know Im going thru this entirely alone. I have a wonderful fiance and he's Been here for everything but he doesn't know how its like going thru carrying her and then labor and birth. And then coming home with these empty arms is so unbearable

<blockquote><b>Quoting Hanah Jones:</b>" Thanks. I know Im going thru this entirely alone. I have a wonderful fiance and he's Been here for everything ... [snip!] ... know how its like going thru carrying her and then labor and birth. And then coming home with these empty arms is so unbearable"</blockquote>




I can't even imagine hun. You should talk to him about how you feel.

He tells me how he lost her too but I can't help but be selfish in how Im feeling. It's not the same for him. I don't mean he loved her any less but maybe not as fierce. He wasn't as physically connected n doesn't Really understand it. Just feeling like your a ticking time bomb trying to keep her In as long as you can.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Hanah Jones:</b>" He tells me how he lost her too but I can't help but be selfish in how Im feeling. It's not the same ... [snip!] ... connected n doesn't Really understand it. Just feeling like your a ticking time bomb trying to keep her In as long as you can."</blockquote>




He's hurting too. Maybe look into some counseling?

Im so sorry for your loss, i recently gave birth to my stillborn baby on the 8th November, I was 37 weeks 5days. Im here if you want to talk..x