re: why aren't many people keen on giving babies up for adoption

Quoting **Hanna**:" <blockquote><b>Quoting lovinthem04:</b>" Because ending a life is much easier than ... [snip!] ... so much more important than my child's. That's what being a mother is all about..."</blockquote> What do you mean?"

Sarcasm.

Quoting **Hanna**:" <blockquote><b>Quoting lovinthem04:</b>" Because ending a life is much easier than ... [snip!] ... so much more important than my child's. That's what being a mother is all about..."</blockquote> What do you mean?"

I was being facetious...nvm lol

Quoting regina_margot:" this is a fascinating topic, so I had to look it up. I would have thought same as you: black newborns ... [snip!] ... suggesting we run out and get pregnant, but it's just not the case that an infant would go begging for a family in this country"

Not according to these articles:
http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/25/black-babies-boys-less-likely-to-be-adopted/


http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/21/living/transracial-adoption-opinion/index.html

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2010/05/markets_everything


Hence why I could never put any child of mind up for adoption. Nope. They would either be kept or aborted.

Quoting Up In Smoke Signals:" Meh. My mixed newborn with a history of mental disorders on both sides of the family was very easily adopted into a white Southern family."

Mix kids are "sold" at full price as opposed to black children.


http://loveisntenough.com/2008/05/09/half-price-adoptions-should-we-tell-our-kids/

Quoting **Hanna**:" Just curious... Why does everyone seem to choose abortion over adoption"

For many women, they cant envision going thu 9 months of pregnancy and several months of personal attention from others and then go thru the emotional and social trauma of adopting out. The women that do it today are very special and should be recogized as such.

If people use the excuse of "i dont want my baby in the system" they are either sadly informed or using it as a defense and coping mechanism for choosing abortion.

Newborns and very young infants not expsoed to drugs, with semi-responsible birthmoms that are adopted out 99% of the time. Those that arent come from states that have more ridiculous rules than the other states with ridiculous rules.

Infants and children that are "stuck in the system" or available past being a very young toddler are there BECAUSE of the system that tries to keep families together. Sometimes it is for the best but sometimes not.

The "market" for babies that has a white baby more expensive than a black baby has nothing to do with "the system." It's simple supply and demand and human nature. People want kids that look like them or could POSSIBLY pass for theirs and they dont want to do a lot of explaining and/or deal with race issue specific to this issue later in life. If there were more black families adopting black infants the problem discrepency in costs would go away.

Quoting TheNuge:" For many women, they cant envision going thu 9 months of pregnancy and several months of personal ... [snip!] ... issue later in life. If there were more black families adopting black infants the problem discrepency in costs would go away."

I would not go as far as to say 99%, especially for black newborns.

I don't want to risk any child of mine not being adopted. Better to abort in almost every situation.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Back to Noob Status:</b>" I would not go as far as to say 99%, especially for black newborns. I don't want to risk any child of mine not being adopted. Better to abort in almost every situation. "</blockquote>




Or, look into the reality prior to making a life and death and potentially joyful or regretful decision.

State laws and conditions vary.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Mix kids are "sold" at full price as opposed to black children. http://loveisntenough.com/2008/05/09/half-price-adoptions-should-we-tell-our-kids/"

Too bad we didn't use an agency.

Quoting TheNuge:" For many women, they cant envision going thu 9 months of pregnancy and several months of personal ... [snip!] ... issue later in life. If there were more black families adopting black infants the problem discrepency in costs would go away."

Yeah I don't think in modern times I've ever heard of a birthmom give birth and not find a parent for the child before leaving the hospital. I accidentally found my LO's adoptive parents when I was like...30, 32 weeks. A member on here gave her LO up and didn't make the plans really until she was in the hospital and then she looked at the books of parents and they came running immediately as soon as they got the call. Newborns will always have parents who want them. I mean LO's adoptive parents are both white, their families are white, his parents are racist, both SO and I have extensive mental health history and let them know everything up front. I smoked pot while pregnant and told them, they knew everything that could potentially be a problem and they accepted it and are madly in love with their mismatched baby who will more likely than not need expensive mental health care as she gets older.
I'm pro-choice and I don't think every woman who gets pregnant should adopt out by any means but I do think that the fears associated with adoption can be eased with research. Some parents do end up closing open adoptions and things don't always go well but to think your healthy newborn is going to end up property of the hospital solely because of the color of his/her skin in 2012 is mistaken. When I first found out I was pregnant my first thought was adoption. I looked at families for a few weeks and then I got scared because of horror stories and decided to keep her. When I found out that SO's work friend and his wife had been trying for a baby and were in the process of getting approved to adopt from foster care, it all fell into place. It was a private adoption through a lawyer and I wouldn't change a thing. They're amazing people who are raising an amazing, tolerant, hilarious little black/white/Chinese girl. So.

Quoting Up In Smoke Signals:" Yeah I don't think in modern times I've ever heard of a birthmom give birth and not find a parent for ... [snip!] ... change a thing. They're amazing people who are raising an amazing, tolerant, hilarious little black/white/Chinese girl. So."

Excellent! I'm glad and I'm sure the adoptive parents are glad you made the choices that you made.
You are amazing for doing so.

Quoting Up In Smoke Signals:" Yeah I don't think in modern times I've ever heard of a birthmom give birth and not find a parent for ... [snip!] ... change a thing. They're amazing people who are raising an amazing, tolerant, hilarious little black/white/Chinese girl. So."

Well I'm glad you were able to find a great family for your kid. As shown earlier, however, black newborns are at a disadvantaged against white and even mixed newborns. That is a statistical fact.

It's great your child was able to get a nice couple, but that isn't the case for all children. And I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with a white couple raising my child, but that's a whole different topic altogether.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Well I'm glad you were able to find a great family for your kid. As shown earlier, however, black newborns ... [snip!] ... And I'm not sure if I would be comfortable with a white couple raising my child, but that's a whole different topic altogether."

I read your post with the 3 links. all were about children in "the system" and not babies that were avaiblable for adoption. I really think it's rare that a baby not considered high-risk is availiable in foster care. IMO, THAT puts makes the mom suspicious and I'd understand reluctance due to the questionalble nature of the mom.
Many babies are put in the foster system and take a loooong time to make them available for adoption. I'm sure you can understand a family's reluctance to take the baby with the risk of losing the baby later as the mom is being given more chances.
I have a white friend who adopted a black toddler. she said is was VERY stressful due to the bio mom and the court system. eventually it worked and the adoption was finalized. Then, she was contacteed and told that her adopted son had a brother. they asked if she'd adopt him too. this process was easier due to the mom's inability to get things together, but they put her thru the same process.
She doesnt work anymore, but she was a foster case worker and knew what to expect and had a calling.
Most regular people get scared away by "the system" and the what ifs.

Quoting Back to Noob Status:" Not according to these articles: http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/25/black-babies-boys-less-likely-to-be-adopted/ ... [snip!] ... Hence why I could never put any child of mind up for adoption. Nope. They would either be kept or aborted. "

those links were fascinating
but they weren't saying that black infants don't get adopted, they were only saying that the fees that may be charged for those adoptions are less

in other words, it's cheaper for black babies
according to the nyt and economist links, i didn't read the cnn one, as cnn is smurf

my point is it's not accurate to say that you wouldn't choose adoption because you don't think you could find any takers. it seems that you most certainly would.

Quoting Up In Smoke Signals:" Yeah I don't think in modern times I've ever heard of a birthmom give birth and not find a parent for ... [snip!] ... change a thing. They're amazing people who are raising an amazing, tolerant, hilarious little black/white/Chinese girl. So."

no, you, madame, are an amazing person

Quoting TheNuge:" I read your post with the 3 links. all were about children in "the system" and not babies that were ... [snip!] ... worker and knew what to expect and had a calling. Most regular people get scared away by "the system" and the what ifs. "

i hadn't read your replies before posting my own. you said everything I could have, better
excellent points

interesting exchange, all around