re: why aren't many people keen on giving babies up for adoption

What exactly is the cop out? Abortion?

Quoting Jerri _:" What exactly is the cop out? Abortion?"

Ya really, I wouldn't call abortion a cop out. It is emotionally devastating for most and leaves years of emotional scars.

Quoting Jerri _:" What exactly is the cop out? Abortion?"

I'm curious too. It seemed like my saying that I use Mirena and condoms was a cop out but not really sure. She didn't make much sense. They never do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" You wish it was easier? So we had even more kids stuck in a foster care system that is already overburdened? More kids without homes, without good role models or stable lives?"</blockquote>




It varies, but the average age of a child waiting to be adopted is anywhere from 6-11. There are approximately 115,000 kids in the system. Children are taken from their homes for a multitude of reasons. The actually number of babies born "into the system", without parents willing to adopt is almost nothing.

You make it sound like newborn abandonment is rampant and that there are thousands of children who are victims of this. That is simply not true.

Birth mothers giving their babies up for adoption almost never results in a child caught up in the system for years.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" You wish it was easier? So we had even ... [snip!] ... not true. Birth mothers giving their babies up for adoption almost never results in a child caught up in the system for years."

No, you just failed to read further. The point is that if there is a huge influx of infants, since those are generally more desirable, then the older kids remain in foster care because the already small number of people looking to adopt at all will often choose infants if they are available.

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" No, you just failed to read further. The point is that if there is a huge influx of infants, since those ... [snip!] ... foster care because the already small number of people looking to adopt at all will often choose infants if they are available."</blockquote>



So, abortion is necessary because there are 8 year olds waiting to be adopted?

That would only make sense if all of those adoptable children were in the system since birth. That is not the case.

People have their children taken away by the courts, to be placed in foster care, every single day.

If someone is hell bent on only adopting a newborn, they will get the newborn...even if they have to leave the country to do it.

It takes a special kind of person to want to adopt a child that is older like that. Older children tend to come with far more issues and there aren't a whole lot of people willing to deal with those issues.

I think your logic is extremely flawed.

<blockquote><b>Quoting lolajessup:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" You wish it was easier? So we had even ... [snip!] ... will happen to the child. They might go back home they might not. Some people jut want a baby. They don't want a foster child."</blockquote>




That's just too bad. As mean as it sounds, beggars can't be choosers. I think people should only be allowed to adopt from the foster system and older kids/kids who've been there longer should get priority.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" No, you just failed to read further. The ... [snip!] ... issues and there aren't a whole lot of people willing to deal with those issues. I think your logic is extremely flawed."

It's really not. I'm not saying people SHOULD abort. I'm saying that those are the reasons I don't believe adoption to be some sort of save all. It's the reason I think adoption isn't such a great thing (when pro-lifers are always telling people they should put the babies up for adoption). Yes, some people will ONLY accept infants. Why does that justify supplying infants? Many would take an older child or toddler, but take an infant because there is one. Why then would I put my child up for adoption when there are other kids waiting for homes. It isn't flawed at all. I'm not saying no one should ever put kids up for adoption, I'm saying that for those who don't want to, that is a very real concern. There are enough kids without homes. I don't intend to take a possible home from them.

Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" There are alrady enough children in the world that need families. Why add more?"

1. you're due on the same date as my sister's birthday  
2. not that I'm trying to talk anyone into adoption (no WAY would I be able to do it), I think it's a common misconception that putting an healthy infant up for adoption would add to the "children who need families"

sure, there are children "in the system" without homes, but they are mostly much older.
healthy infants, especially healthy WHITE infants, get snapped up in a heartbeat
very easy to find a family to adopt a healthy infant
in fact, might even be able to make some $$ in the process

again, NOT encouraging anyone to make babies and adopt them out or sell them
just ...making an observation

Quoting regina_margot:" 1. you're due on the same date as my sister's birthday   2. not that I'm trying to talk anyone into ... [snip!] ... $$ in the process again, NOT encouraging anyone to make babies and adopt them out or sell them just ...making an observation"

The other side of this argument is that if families want children they have choices. These choices may not be "ideal" for them, meaning they are not infants, are not white, or have some other issue, but there ARE kids. When you have an infant that is then adopted it closes that spot that the family MIGHT have chosen an older child for (or a child who was not white). They might not have ever adopted an older child, but many would if their option was no kid, or an older kid. The infants who are adopted however take that spot and that possibility.

Quoting she nan igans:" It's really not. I'm not saying people SHOULD abort. I'm saying that those are the reasons I don't believe ... [snip!] ... want to, that is a very real concern. There are enough kids without homes. I don't intend to take a possible home from them."

i think you're assuming that in the absence of adoptable infants, people will adopt 9 year olds
that's quite an assumption!

they are completely different propositions.
when U.S. runs out of adoptable infants, people go to China, to Russia, and those 9 year olds remain in the system

Quoting regina_margot:" i think you're assuming that in the absence of adoptable infants, people will adopt 9 year olds that's ... [snip!] ... when U.S. runs out of adoptable infants, people go to China, to Russia, and those 9 year olds remain in the system"

Nope. I'm not assuming it. I'm saying it takes away the CHANCE that it will happen. It closes the spot, so it takes away that possibility. Would it have happened? Maybe, maybe not. But it WONT happen if they adopt an infant in that place.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" No, you just failed to read further. The ... [snip!] ... issues and there aren't a whole lot of people willing to deal with those issues. I think your logic is extremely flawed."

In countries where abortion isn't available you realize there are hundreds of babies thrown into children homes where all they do is sit in their crib except to be changed? So why would it be so wrong for them to go to another country to adopt a baby that is just being treated like that?

I didn't read all the responses..

my biomom had 3 kids.. gave us all up for adoption

my sister and I were molested in multiple foster homes, and again by our adopted father, my brother was physically and emotionally abused by our father.

at 16 i was told by my father that he'd never wanted kids, he just did it for my mom

at 26, and again at 30, I was basically told by my mother that motherhood wans't :what she expected" and she's not sure adopting us was the best decision,

so... adoption.. not that great of a choice either.

I vented the other day on FB about my mom basically saying she wished she hadn't adopted us... I had 2 other friends who were adopted say they were told the same thing by their "mother's"

Quoting Angel Wilder:" I dont believe in abortion.... I would never and could never kill a fetus because that fetus is already ... [snip!] ... dont give up on the life God blessed you with inside you. Ugh.... Sorry i feel strongly about this not trying to offend anyone."

You aren't trying to offend anyone?
You just offended anyone that had an abortion, thanks.