re: why aren't many people keen on giving babies up for adoption

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" You gave him up for adoption when he was 8, or he's 8 now?"</blockquote>.

No, I gave him up at birth, I tried to like, co-parent but I was too young so I decided to finalize it and give him up, hardest decision of my life ... I wish I'd kept him, but this is life now, and all the promises they gave me when I signed him over are broken.

Speaking from experience, i wouldnt say that it is bc kids are in the system already bc i chose a family for my baby to go to but i bonded with my child and could not give her up. Maybe a person doesnt wanna go through that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Wow. I'm sorry, but your entire post sort of makes me sick. I hope you're saying thats what people FEAR, ... [snip!] ... and putting them up for adopted, you're taking homes out of the already small group of people who MIGHT adopt an older child."</blockquote>


I'm not saying I dont agree. I just know a lot of foster parents and it's something not everyone can do. And those are things that children can do not usually all in one child. I had 2 foster kids in my class where they literally destroyed her home. They cut all er carpet up, they scratched her car paint to hell, they broke everything, the one girl was sexually abused and did strange thins to herself, the boy would try to kill his baby siblings so they had to sleep in the parents room. She had 4 siblings and wanted to keep them all but just couldn't. She kept the younger 2. Ten the mom had another baby and she kept him too. But couldn't handle te two older kids. She had them about 2 yrs so it's not like she didn't try. Some people just can't handle that. Everyones different.

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Wow. I'm sorry, but your entire post sort of makes me sick. I hope you're saying thats what people FEAR, ... [snip!] ... and putting them up for adopted, you're taking homes out of the already small group of people who MIGHT adopt an older child."</blockquote>




I agree with second half of your post!I think If people don't want to deal with certain issues a child might have then they shouldn't adopt or have children at all because there is always a chance that kid might have some kind of issue a parent might not have an easy time dealing with.

Quoting Just_a_Stranger:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sophia's Mommy♥:</b>" You gave him up for adoption when ... [snip!] ... of my life ... I wish I'd kept him, but this is life now, and all the promises they gave me when I signed him over are broken."

Oh, okay. I'm sure it was hard  

I think after two children given up for adoption, I would consider some serious birthcontrol, and doubling up methods.

<blockquote><b>Quoting thewarmth:</b>" Anyone can adopt whoever they want. I just don't take a word a prolifer says seriously when they say ... [snip!] ... children, they would help the children that don't have anyone, not the newborns that will indefinitely get adopted quickly."</blockquote>

Not all people adopt because they want to help a child. Some people adopt because they want a child. Some people foster and adopt because they want to help a child.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting thewarmth:</b>" Anyone can adopt whoever they want. I just ... [snip!] ... to help a child. Some people adopt because they want a child. Some people foster and adopt because they want to help a child."

They go hand in hand.
If you are choosing adoption, it is because you want a child and you want to help a child.
Otherwise, you could just use a surrogate.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Wow. I'm sorry, but your entire post sort ... [snip!] ... older kids. She had them about 2 yrs so it's not like she didn't try. Some people just can't handle that. Everyones different."

So because someone you know had a bad experience ALL foster kids are bad? That's my point, you're implying that all foster kids are basically hopeless cases that most people wouldn't want to deal with (and rightly so).

For one, ALL kids destroy crap. Secondly, you realize that a lot of kids are sexually abused who are not in any sort of foster care, right? So these parents who aren't "cut out" for adopting older kids can still end up with children who were sexually abused. It happens a lot more then people like to admit. Are you saying these parents should send their kids to foster care because they've become too difficult to deal with? Or is it only kids who are sexually abused and then in foster care who become uncontrollable monsters?

I'm not saying everyone needs to adopt older kids, but I *AM* saying that your comments are some of the reasons people don't. Because there is this feeling that they're all the way you're describing. They aren't, and even some who DO have issues can be worked through.

I dont believe in abortion.... I would never and could never kill a fetus because that fetus is already a baby... If it has a heartbeat ots a baby. Nor would i ever give my child up for adoption. My feelings are if your grown enough to spread your legs then you deal with the consequences and dont give up on the life God blessed you with inside you. Ugh.... Sorry i feel strongly about this not trying to offend anyone.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" Wow. I'm sorry, but your entire post sort ... [snip!] ... older kids. She had them about 2 yrs so it's not like she didn't try. Some people just can't handle that. Everyones different."

Did the woman consider some serious therapy for these kids??
Anyone who has been sexually abused needs help. They can't just get over on their own.

Quoting Angel Wilder:" I dont believe in abortion.... I would never and could never kill a fetus because that fetus is already ... [snip!] ... dont give up on the life God blessed you with inside you. Ugh.... Sorry i feel strongly about this not trying to offend anyone."

And what if a woman is raped? Or the pregnancy could be fatal?

I was in foster care i was never sexually abused and ended up being adopted by my mom at thirteen and i couldnt be happier.. Just saying

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel Wilder:</b>" I dont believe in abortion.... I would never and could never kill a fetus because that fetus is already ... [snip!] ... dont give up on the life God blessed you with inside you. Ugh.... Sorry i feel strongly about this not trying to offend anyone."</blockquote>




i never understand why prolifers are so obsessed with the heart beat. it's a blood transporting organ and nothing more...it's no different than the stomach or the liver...it's not our hearts that make us human, it's our brains!

Quoting Angel Wilder:" I dont believe in abortion.... I would never and could never kill a fetus because that fetus is already ... [snip!] ... dont give up on the life God blessed you with inside you. Ugh.... Sorry i feel strongly about this not trying to offend anyone."

Really? So birth control never fails? Women never get raped?

Some 10 year olds can spread thir legs and get pregnant, as you put it, does that make her adult enough to raise a child? hmmmmmm?