re: Self-conscious. Porn.

Is it effecting your sex life with each other? Considering how often it is and his behavior around it, it does seem excessive, and does seem like a form of addiction.

You need to sit down and talk with him... do not be accusatory or hell shut down, but be honest about your feelings. It's the first step to him being willing to get help. I don't know how you confront him, but he may just feel like he's being attacked and that he just has a nagging wife. He may not realize the severity or the fact that it is impacting the relationship.

My x had this problem, although I never confronted him about it... It got to a point that we were having sex like, 2-3 times a month.. To once a month towards the end, or less.. He would be turn me down when id throw myself at him basically. I remember coming home from a quick run down the street knowing he had just done it (removing the evidence).. He'd choose masterbating over sex. It was really hurtful. Knowing he'd take the first chance he got to do it, then be spent and have no interest in sex.

Ultimately we broke up, that was just part of the reason... But I understand how it's making you feel. It severly impacted my self esteem for awhile and even now i have felt discomfort about my husband masterbating, and he doesn't even watch porn! It just made me feel like he was choosing that over me. We are very open though and I've been able to move past this with the support of my husband and his openness about it. He explained that his masterbation is really just to get rid of a boner in a time pinch, like getting ready to rush out the door for work.. and it means no more to him than taking a smurf! Lol!

Quoting Wanna Touch My Flower?:" If you're married (or with, have been with, etc...) to someone who has a porn addiction, how do you handle ... [snip!] ... the crap, whatever, but in the meantime, how do I not take it as a personal attack? Because that's what's going on here...."

if its an actual addition i recommend counselling....just like for any addition. have you set down and talked to him about it? My SO use to watch porn a lot..not addicted though. i didnt like it. i felt intimidated by the perfect bodies all those girl had. but most of all i didnt like the fact that he was getting off to someone besides me. im the only person who he need to get off to. i gave him sex all th time so the only time he used it was to masturbate...i still didnt like it. i set down and explained the way i felt and why. he disagreed but understood. he said he wasnt going to watch it anymore unless i decided that i wanted to watch it together ( im not a fan of porn so no). we made our own videos and pictures that he could masturbate to. he hasnt watched it in a year. no problems. good luck