After a few encounters at various stores this past weekend, I feel the need to speak on behalf for Moms everywhere across the world who share in my frustrations.
1. Don’t write checks.
It happens to me every stinking time. I’m in a rush, I commit to an aisle and things look like they are moving along, until BAM! Checkbook. They of course have to show their ID, which they can’t find. When it’s all said and done, they will probably ask the cashier for one more item…that they will have to write another check for. Don’t be that person. Don’t do it! Seriously! You’ll have a pack of seething moms with babes on their hip all the while corralling an older sibling who is plotting their getaway.
Put the check away.
2. If my kid is throwing a tantrum, staring does NOT make them stop.
Your laser eyes cause more stress, not relief, so cool the lasers and get on with your business. Nothing to see here people!
3. Don’t touch my baby’s hands.
I’m so flattered that you think my baby is cute. I love that you want to say, “Hi” and coo at them. But you do realize that my baby puts his hands in his mouth, right? So that means the wedgie you just picked? Yep, now it’s in his mouth. The booger you just flicked? In the mouth again.
4. Trying to get a peek of my baby while I’m nursing is probably a no-no.
I guess I figured this would be implied, but while nursing my 9 month old, with a nursing cover, a lady at CostCo saw the cute little baby feet and came a runnin’.
Old Peeping Tom Lady: How old is your baby?!
Me: 9 months. (Smiling, not expecting the peep show to come.)
OPTL: Awww, let me see!!!!! (Pulls top of nursing cover out to get a look at my little ones face and sees boob and baby.)
Me: (Awkward laugh) Yep! He’s cute! (Referring to my boob. It’s a he, okay?)
This is just the beginning of my list my friends, just the beginning.
Lol love hahas for hoohas