Depressed, don't know where to turn.

I don't really know where to begin. Please excuse my spelling, And excuse me if this isn't the write forum for this but I'm really don't know where to turn, who to talk to or what to do. I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with my first, a boy due Jan 6, yet I am not happy. I'm 21, full time college student, part time min. wage worker. I have supportive family and friends, but I don't know if I can keep this baby. I'm scared to grow up. I am scared of having to be responsible for another human being. I'm scared I won't love him or he won't love me. I'm crying as a write this because I feel so sad. The father is unreliable, doesn't have a job and is always out partying while I'm working or in school. I've had a difficult pregnancy, I was diagnoised with hypermeiss graduium in the beginning, I've developed hemrrohids that are quite painful, and horrible swelling and the beginnings of varicose veins. Once again - I have a great family who will help me and take care of me but part of me feels so bad having to accept their help. They just want me to be happy and they are so exicted for the baby yet I am not. Sometimes I cry when people ask questions about the baby and ask if I am excited. I have friends who have kids but their situations are so much better, they're either married or the father is helping to support them. I wanted to give the baby up for adoption but part of me doesnt think I could or should and my mother would be so heartbroken. But its my choice, not hers. I really dont think I'm ready. I had big hopes and dreams for myself, and now I feel like this tainted person because I'm having this baby with this smurf. I guess I'm just looking for someone who feels the way I do, or who was once in my boat to help me get over him and just move on and do what I have to do..  

  sorry hun. Maybe you'll feel different when the baby get here. Or, have you considered adoption? its not for everyone, but it may be something to look into. Best of luck <3

You need to do what is best for you. If you want to do adoption, there is a place in trolly square I think... dont hold me to this.. but it is called Adoptions From the Heart. Afth.com

You need to sit down and think about yourself and the baby. Not anyone else.

If you plan to do adoption, you need to get the fathers signature to sign his rights after the baby is born.

ETA: I know it is called that. I went through them last year when I placed my youngest son for adoption.

I just wanted to say good luck. Make the choice that is best for you.

It gets easier. I wasnt scared because I knew everything would work itself out. Take things 1 day at a time. If you have a supportive family, dont you think perhaps they already love this baby? Dont you think it would hurt them if you gave your baby up?
When the baby is born...all those worries go away and you kick into mommy mode. I think this is normal for someone to be worried. It is a huge responsibility.
good luck to you

I've been there. I feel your pain. My daughter's father picked at me, drank all the time, slammed doors and on top of it was cheating on me my entire pregnancy. I was so upset and depressed I cried all the time. I was so scared that I couldn't raise this baby alone and I wouldn't be a good mom. But I decided finally that he was never going to get his smu*f together and never has. But once I realized that I had to live for this child and that I loved her I walked out on her dad. I told him that I was done and that he could contact me when he wanted to put his daugher first. That was the best thing I ever did. She is now 2 years old, it has been a rocky road. I work a minimum wage job, and don't have anyone to help me but I wouldn't change it for the world. And it's up to you in the end don't let anyone effect your decision.

Also... OP Im from Newark, DE. So I am kinda close by, if you ever wanted to meet up.

Just think about yourself and your baby when you make this choice. Don't worry about what your friends or family will have to think. They don't have to live in your life. I support you either way. Placing a child for adoption is a very noble thing to do, when you realize that you can give your child a better life elsewhere. Raising your child yourself alone is also very strong.

You can have a baby as a single mom. Many of us can rise to the challenge! I am going to say that I have a daughter with an smurf (though not quite a deadbeat), and it pisses me off daily to know I have a connection to him for life. I dearly wish he'd have left before the birth and left me a blank birth certificate and free reign over all parenting decisions. If I was in your situation, and keeping him, I'd not list BD on the BC and not contact him and make him jump through the hoops and spend the money, and prove himself to see your son. Don't try that if you place for adoption though, because he could fight the adoptive family for custody and break more innocent hearts.

Hi friend~
I'm so sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed right now. I know it's hard to come to terms with an unplanned pregnancy and I wish your boyfriend was more supportive of you.   But, it is a blessing that you have some family around to help you through this time-although I know it doesn't necessarily make your decision about what the future holds for you and your baby any easier. So, I just wanted to hop and say that I'll be praying for you and thinking of you. I hope you fee encouraged this week and more hopeful about what lies ahead. ((Hugs))!

I'm so sorry your going through this. I had my first when I was a senior in highschool. I thought my boyfriend would be there forever for us and we would have the perfect family. Well, all that was very short lived. When my son was just 3 months old his "father" told me he changed his mind and didn't want a baby anymore. My son is now 7years old. He knows who his dad is and has seen him maybe a handful of times in the last 5 years. I do not recieve any child support even though there is a court order for it. I never thought I was ready to grow up or be responsible enough for a little tiny being by myself. When I looked at my son though I no longer did things for me, it was no longer about me. I had to finish school for him, work hard for him, live for him. I am now expecting baby #3 in just a few short weeks. My life is not perfect. My relationship is to say the least.....complicated. My college program has been put on hold for 2 unexpected pregnancies, but I am happy to say I start my clinical rotation in January for the RT program! I'm doing it for all my sons, to provide a better life for all of them. I will most likely be a single mom once again....with not one, but three little ones depending on me solely for their every need. I know the way you are feeling now and it sucks, but just remember this is not where you will be forever. You aren't stuck. Things can change in an instant. Just sit and think long and hard about the possible outcomes for each path you can take. Make a pros and cons list for each option. Not everyone can handle adoption but not everyone can handle being a single parent. I wish you the best of luck and don't let anyone pressure you into anything. Feel free to message me if you ever wanna talk.