I am losing it

DH has been gone for 2 weeks for WTI and will be gone at least another 4. I am completely alone taking care of DD. I feel like a horrible person but I seriously don't know how much longer I can do it. I was really hoping my mom or brother were going to come out here while I was gone but now they aren't so they can help us move in December. I am slowly losing my mind. I just gave her a 2 minute shower shoved clothes on her and put her in her room. I came downstairs and now am bawling my eyes out. DD deserves so much better than me.

I have zero patience with her. I say no probably 100 times a day. She no longer listens. She won't stay in time out. I am ashamed to say I have even resorted to spanking on occasion because I am so lost on what to do. I am tired of whining and the hitting if she doesn't get her way. She fights me on everything. I dread going to bed at night because I know I have to get up and do it again the next morning.

I feel like a crappy parent. I just don't know what to do. I wish I would have gone home while he was gone.

Sounds like she is stressed because she sees you stressed.

I am so over getting upset when my kids cry. It just doesnt bother me anymore. They cry and I walk off and do something else.

Also, what are you saying no about? My husband does that alot. He tells the kids no, you cant do this or no, you cant do that. Everything is a no. They act out more with him than they do me. Make sure you pick your battles.

she probably hits you because you hit her... just saying.

my husband deployed when i was 5 weeks pregnant, with a one year old baby. my daughter was 2 when he came home, and our son was 4 months... yeah it sucked, but man you get through it. take care of that poor baby. she needs you

Sounds like you need some time to yourself for a day...do you have any friends that could maybe watch her for a few hours??? Also I see your status says your TTC since july---maybe none of my business but if your this stressed with one child maybe you should reconsider another one.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" she probably hits you because you hit her... just saying. my husband deployed when i was 5 weeks pregnant, ... [snip!] ... came home, and our son was 4 months... yeah it sucked, but man you get through it. take care of that poor baby. she needs you"

I hate to agree but this is probably true. If we spank my son, he hits us back. Doesnt do a bit of good. Only thing it does is makes me feel like crap after and didnt teach him a darn thing.

Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" Sounds like she is stressed because she sees you stressed. I am so over getting upset when my kids ... [snip!] ... this or no, you cant do that. Everything is a no. They act out more with him than they do me. Make sure you pick your battles."

It is mostly just repeating myself over and over again. No you can't have ice cream over and over again. No don't pour juice on the floor. Not don't bang on the glass. No don't pour soap in the sink. She actually filled it with soap the other day while I was doing dishes. Shut the refrigerator door. No you can't have candy.

We then get to the fight to take a shower. She no longer wants to but broke the baby lock off my door today and put shampoo all over her hair. It is then a fight about where she is going to sleep. She prefers the stairs or hall. I gave up on that one and just put her in her bed whenever I go to bed.

I try to reward her with doing fun stuff but it is never good enough. Like we went to Michael's the other day and we each got an art project. Now both of them are trash. She destroyed hers which was fine then proceeded to throw paint all over mine. That was even whatever. I made her help me clean it up. It was the part where she broke all of her brand new crayons then ripped up her new coloring books and when I was picking all that up she drew on the wall and the coffee table with marker.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" she probably hits you because you hit her... just saying. my husband deployed when i was 5 weeks pregnant, ... [snip!] ... came home, and our son was 4 months... yeah it sucked, but man you get through it. take care of that poor baby. she needs you"

I try not to. It is just so frustrating when she goes in timeout 10 times for the same thing then gets out and does it again. Like pouring juice on the floor.

Quoting melissa_83:" Sounds like you need some time to yourself for a day...do you have any friends that could maybe watch ... [snip!] ... TTC since july---maybe none of my business but if your this stressed with one child maybe you should reconsider another one."

I have never been this stressed before. He has left many times before this and we have done just fine. I have never had a bad separation til now. Maybe it is because she is getting older. She understands daddy is gone. Maybe she is acting out because of that. Hell maybe she is sick of being around me. I also have no friends left because they have all divorced or PCSd.

I honestly don't know what we are going to with ttc. I do know it will be easier because I won't be 100% alone if I have a second one. We will be living around family and DH will have a job that doesn't require him to leave for months at a time. We all do just fine when he comes home everyday.

Quoting Addi's Momma:" It is mostly just repeating myself over and over again. No you can't have ice cream over and over again. ... [snip!] ... then ripped up her new coloring books and when I was picking all that up she drew on the wall and the coffee table with marker."

I have a 7, 4, 2, and 1 yr old.
My 2 and 1 yr old get into EVERYTHING!
Do you have a room where you can use a baby gate to confine your LO?
Like my livingroom is set up to where I can put up a baby gate and they have no access to a bathroom, kitchen, dining room. Only places they can access are their rooms and livingroom. My livingroom only has a TV, 2 couches, 2 end tables. That is it. They can bring their toys in the livingroom and it's all child proof. I dont have to stress.

Quoting Addi's Momma:" I have never been this stressed before. He has left many times before this and we have done just fine. ... [snip!] ... and DH will have a job that doesn't require him to leave for months at a time. We all do just fine when he comes home everyday."

well my husband was deployed for 15 onths to iraq and I had three children at the time 7,5, and 18months. The younger two did just fine while he was gone but my oldest was very upset and acted out. It could be her way of showing she misses daddy. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and breathe.

Quoting Addi's Momma:" I try not to. It is just so frustrating when she goes in timeout 10 times for the same thing then gets out and does it again. Like pouring juice on the floor."

why arent you watching her,,,? kids shouldnt be just pouring juice on the floor, or emptying out soap bottles.. she sounds bored and looking for stuff to do. dont get mad at her.. do stuff with her, get out of the house... run her around, play at the park, get her tired by the end of the day she'll be begging to go to bed and it wont be a fight... she doesnt want to go to bed because she's not tired, because you didnt do anything with her all day except say no no no over and over.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" why arent you watching her,,,? kids shouldnt be just pouring juice on the floor, or emptying out soap ... [snip!] ... want to go to bed because she's not tired, because you didnt do anything with her all day except say no no no over and over."

o_O Kids can do a lot in a matter of seconds.
I know I have gone to pee and come out to find eggs in my kitchen floor all broken.
I have gone to the kids bedroom to clean and find my child pouring dish soap in the floor. It happens. Doesnt mean you are not watching them, but you can only be so many places at once.

Quoting MommyingWithGrace:" o_O Kids can do a lot in a matter of seconds. I know I have gone to pee and come out to find eggs in ... [snip!] ... pouring dish soap in the floor. It happens. Doesnt mean you are not watching them, but you can only be so many places at once."

oh i know what kids can do, trust me. i have a 2 and 4 year old. they're crafty little punks, very sneaky too!

OP sounds like she's not engaging her child, and doing enough fun, physical activitiy with her. do you not agree that if you take a child out all day and keep them going, and playing when you come home bedtime isnt a fight? that's what im trying to get across to her. it sounds like they stay in all day. OP correct me if im wrong, please...

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" why arent you watching her,,,? kids shouldnt be just pouring juice on the floor, or emptying out soap ... [snip!] ... want to go to bed because she's not tired, because you didnt do anything with her all day except say no no no over and over."

How can you say "why aren't you watching her?" Yeah, kids pour juice on the floor along w/ doing other stupid smurf! It happens!!! It doesn't mean she isn't watching her kid bc she pours juice in the floor. smurf, mine will do it right it front of my face, just to be an ass.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" why arent you watching her,,,? kids shouldnt be just pouring juice on the floor, or emptying out soap ... [snip!] ... want to go to bed because she's not tired, because you didnt do anything with her all day except say no no no over and over."

I do watch her. We go to the park everyday. This all very recent like in the last 2 weeks since her dad left. The first couple of days were fine and now it is like my kid is gone and this person is what she has been replaced with.

I do engage my child. We do arts and crafts. I sit in her room while she plays with her toys because I am not allowed to touch them because they are hers. We bake because she loves to make cookies.

She does these things while I am washing dishes or cleaning up the last mess she made. One day she was playing in her room and I walked in and she had my box of tampons out and was shooting them like party poppers. I try to keep her busy during the day. I also can't keep her out all day because she still naps. Things are 10x worse if she doesn't get a nap.