How did you feel?

Your first week home? The first few nights I felt really anxious. I got like no sleep cause I was always checking her breathing. I obsessed about SIDS. Any noise she makes I freaked out about. But now, It's not as intense. I still get an anxious feeling off and on, more at night though when its bed time.

I also feel kind of guilty when ever I let anyone else feed her oor anything. Like this morning, my mom asked to hold her for a bit and feed her her bottle and she let me sleep an hour more. It's the first time I've let anyone help like that. It's eating me up. Like I should have fed her and like I should have not slept. Does anyone else feel this way? I am scared that she wont love me if I let anyone help. And like we wont have a special bond.

Has anyone else felt anything like that? I cannot wait until my hormones are normal.

Just because you let people help doesnt mean she wont know you love her. She needs to bond with other family members. You can't be there for every second of everyday and she needs to learn to find comfort and trust in others as well. Doesn't lessen your bond with her at all. You need to make sure you are cared for just as much as she is, so when the offer of help is there so can get an hour of im sure much needed sleep take it.

I got little to no sleep the first couple weeks home. I also found myself always checking her. Now she moves her arms around and I'm terrified she'll get a corner of a blanket out from under her and it will end up on her face.....a mother's worries are never ending I guess lol.
As far as feeding, I breasfed the first month and had to start pumping bc I got back to work. I didn't mind the help bc it allowed me to bond more with my first born (I always feared she'd feel left out) and also allowed me to do things around the house, or sleep for once hehe.

It'll get better momma. Accept help when it's offered, it's a relief some times.

Oh man, I felt the exact same way. I wasn't at ease until about the third week, I'd say.
I also obsessed about SIDS and wouldn't get a wink of sleep or even let myself want it because I'd constantly be checking on her, stroking her cheek so she'd move a little. I also had NO appetite to speak of and was so low on energy, I couldn't stand it. It was so hard. I was also very weepy and would cry at the littlest things. The second week sucked because I realized I HAD to sleep, but was breastfeeding and had to be up every hour or two and it got very overwhelming and frustrating. I felt guilty for letting someone else watch her to shower or clean.. I felt like any minute I wasn't with her, she'd bond with someone too much and forget about mommy, which is really ridiculous to think, but I did.
It's the hormones. I feel like they were crazier after baby than they were the first trimester.

Quoting K. P. Walsh:" Oh man, I felt the exact same way. I wasn't at ease until about the third week, I'd say. I also obsessed ... [snip!] ... to think, but I did. It's the hormones. I feel like they were crazier after baby than they were the first trimester. "

You just explained me with 100% accuracy. Holy crap. She rolls on her side occasionally to sleep and I start to freakin' hyperventilate. I'm scared she will roll onto her face. I know she has to bond with family and she does. I let my mom and whoever else wants to hold her do so. I just feel guilty like its my job to do those things. I know its irrational feelings. I have no one to express these feelings to at all cause they wont understand or think i'm crazy.

I also feel kind of distant from my fiance but I know that again, it's just all in my mind cause he adores her and helps so much with her. I don't wanna push him away. I agree that the hormones are worse after. I have NOOO appetite. I know its the stress. I was 140 last thursday when i delivered and today a week later I'm at 122 and feel so skinny. Like gross. No energy.

Bahhh. Sorry for the rant.  

Hang in there Mama you are in that weird window when your hormones are balancing out. Sometimes I wanted help but just not from certain people that made me feel uncomfortable. Like my MIL she would try to take over and that stirred up those guilty feelings or made me feel like I wasn't being able to do what I felt was natural. If you need the help ask for it from someone who makes you feel relaxed. That's the whole point right you feeling relaxed! So I would ask my Hubby to do it because he always understood when the baby needed me or would easily come ask me or bring me the baby without awkwardness. Everyone loves the baby so much some of them can be at times pushy. You set the tone for help and you are a very attentive mom so don't worry about not giving enough. Feel confident to spend as much or as little time with baby as you need. Having time with just your Fiance and the baby will help keep that closeness. He may feel like a third wheel if extra people are helping all the time, there is only one baby after all. Be sure to show him affection with touch thats reassuring to guys. The first ones feel so fragile but God made them tougher than you think. Just keep doing what you believe is right for you and your baby. I promise that will line up with what's right for your family as a whole.

Quoting mutemath27:" Hang in there Mama you are in that weird window when your hormones are balancing out. Sometimes I wanted ... [snip!] ... what you believe is right for you and your baby. I promise that will line up with what's right for your family as a whole."

Thank you so much. There was so much thought behind your reply and it made me feel so much better.. I really appreciate you taking the time to reassure me and validate what I'm feeling. It means a lot. Just gets so hard and overwhelming at times because there is nobody for me to talk to about it. So thank you again for your reply.  

Your gonna be a great Mom ..