Are these normal feelings?

I have been with my husband for a long time. He was my first real boyfriend and everything, started dating in HS. Well lately I have been getting this urge to cheat. Not just go smurf someone, but going on a date and being flirty and things like that. I love him so much, and I love the life we created, but something is lacking. I dont feel the "spark", we say I LOVE YOU all the time and part of me feels like its just something we say because we are used to it. We have a great sex life, but thats it, we are only intimate when we are smurfing and I hate it so much. I just want someone to want me, and tell me im beautiful, and sneak up behind me and kiss me on the neck and just be sweet and loving. He comes home from work, then I go to work. He is off all weekend, I work long shifts. I just dont understand why I keep having "grass is greener" syndrome lately, but I think I am bored. Alll relationships go through this phase right?

Yes, this is normal and the way to get through it is communication. Lead by example. Treat him the way you want to be treated. Plan at least one date night a month. You can absolutely bring that spark back. And if you really love him you need to try and work on that and not venture outside of the relationship.

best of luck.

Quoting BG Secrets:" I have been with my husband for a long time. He was my first real boyfriend and everything, started dating ... [snip!] ... why I keep having "grass is greener" syndrome lately, but I think I am bored. Alll relationships go through this phase right?"

It's not a "phase" IMO, it's what happens when people stop trying. Ask yourself honestly, are YOU doing those romantic things? Are you taking time out of your day to treat him like you used to? Try and set up some dates for just you two. Instead of spending time doing your own things, try to spend more time TOGETHER, not just at the same place. Meaning, husband and I sit on the swing on our balcony almost every night and talk. We do this instead of watchign TV, or playing on our own computers.

Relationships take work, especially as time goes on. Things can get stagnant, but that's because people let them. See what you can do to get back what you want, and it's amazing how often he'll reciprocate.

it's called the 7 year itch, lol! I think it's pretty common, that's why marriage takes work. You have to work at reconnecting and finding out how to do that can be hard, starting the converstation is the hardest part because you don't want to hurt anyone

feel this is normal. Just sit down and talk about your feelings (maybe not that you want to cheat) but that you need to be told your beautiful. Maybe buy him flowers and tell him how much you love him/what you like about him. And get the ball rolling?

Personally yes, I think all relationships go through that and its perfectly normal. I'd call it a rut. My husband and I are coming out of one right now, actually. It's hard, but what helped us was talking about it and making time to spend together. At first it was awkward, there were some hurt feelings and some crying, but it got easier and it got better. For us it took about 2 months and numerous long, serious conversations about how we both felt and what we both wanted. If you choose to go that route, I highly suggest remembering to talk about the positives in the relationship, too. Otherwise it can feel pretty hopeless.

Yes, they do. The honeymoon phase is over in your relationship, but that doesnt mean that it no longer has a 'spark'. You said yourself that you love your husband and you love the life that you two have and thats not something you want to just throw away. I was madly in love with my ex fiance, I had those feelings of 'the grass is greener' so I broke up with him. Its been about three years and a day doesnt go by that I dont call myself stupid for leaving just because.
It sounds like you're having these feelings because you dont see your husband as much anymore since he's at work, comes home, then you go to work. Try scheduling some romantic dates, or even more fun, try some spontaneous sex, which I know can be hard with little ones [if you have them] but its well worth it.
Good luck OP! :]

It's totally normal. A lot of people go through this, and it's more common in couples who have been together a long time or couples who have been together since they were young. Just Ames gave some good advice, I would definitely try to bring the spark back and see if he catches on. Maybe he's just nervous to try it first?  

1,000% normal, and PLEASE don't hurt your relationship by following through on your impulse. Find a couple weekend retreat or marriage revival and gochild free!

<blockquote><b>Quoting she nan igans:</b>" It's not a "phase" IMO, it's what happens when people stop trying. Ask yourself honestly, are YOU doing ... [snip!] ... that's because people let them. See what you can do to get back what you want, and it's amazing how often he'll reciprocate."</blockquote>




This is spot on!!

Quoting she nan igans:" It's not a "phase" IMO, it's what happens when people stop trying. Ask yourself honestly, are YOU doing ... [snip!] ... that's because people let them. See what you can do to get back what you want, and it's amazing how often he'll reciprocate."

Absolutely corre ct

Totally normal. I've felt that way myself before. We get so involved in everyday life our relationships get put on the back burner. When that happens, make a point to change it. Set up a date night, spend time with him whenever you can and remind him of how things used to be. It might feel like you're just going through the motions at first, but eventually it'll be second nature again. And don't underestimate the importance of communication, let your hubby know how you're feeling. Not necessarily that you think the grass might be greener, but just that you miss the intimacy you used to have. Chances are, he does too. Good luck hun.

I've been with SO for 3 years, 4 in January, and I feel kinda the same way.

Except, he's Jehovah's Witness, and he's getting back into his church, which means no sex until we're married and we can't live together, either.

We love each other unconditionally, but I want more from him.
I want the relationship we had in the beginning.

I've been hanging out with an ex of mine, who's now a real good friend, and I think about kissing him and what not, but never do because I could never betray SO.
It's more like the thought of the adrenaline? I don't know.

But yeah, it happens and it sucks.

This reminds me of my whole thing with my now ex. We were together for 6 years and everything changed one day. I went to my ex and told him how I felt and how unhappy I was. I felt so much better letting it all out.

Quoting she nan igans:" It's not a "phase" IMO, it's what happens when people stop trying. Ask yourself honestly, are YOU doing ... [snip!] ... that's because people let them. See what you can do to get back what you want, and it's amazing how often he'll reciprocate."

I just wanted to say that this is the best advice BY far I have seen lately here. Kudos to you for being such a smart woman!