Quoting BelleDiabolique:" Ineffective for that one person. Not for everyone. If they tried everything, then I guess he was just ... [snip!] ... I guess he was just one of those people that never learns, or apparently they didn't try everything and just let him be bad. "

No they tried everything.

Quoting Laurnabeth:" No they tried everything."

Then how does that make spanking the problem if they tried everything to discipline him and he just refused to act right?

Quoting BelleDiabolique:" Then how does that make spanking the problem if they tried everything to discipline him and he just refused to act right? "

Because it made things worse, SOs words not mine.

I'll probably do it, if he needs it. I was, my mama was, my whole family was. i dont view as abuse. Whoopins are only used for a short period of time in my family. I stopped getting whoopins by age 6. After that it was just military punishment.

Quoting Laurnabeth:" Because it made things worse, SOs words not mine."

Sounds more like he was the problem, in my opinion. He sounds like my step-sister. She ended up getting put in a mental institution for long-term residential treatment, though. They tried everything they could think of with her, too, and nothing worked. She tried to suffocate me once, chased me with a butcher knife on another occasion, and got into constant fights with both of our parents and at school. She was a horrible person. Apparently the mental institution helped her become at least socially functional, but it didn't keep her out of jail. Best thing my dad ever did was leave her mom.

Quoting BelleDiabolique:" Sounds more like he was the problem, in my opinion. He sounds like my step-sister. She ended up getting ... [snip!] ... her become at least socially functional, but it didn't keep her out of jail. Best thing my dad ever did was leave her mom. "

Wth?  

I don't agree with that. Children are blank slates and (minus some serious mental disorder) the parents or the discipline techniques are the problem.

Quoting BelleDiabolique:" Sounds more like he was the problem, in my opinion. He sounds like my step-sister. She ended up getting ... [snip!] ... her become at least socially functional, but it didn't keep her out of jail. Best thing my dad ever did was leave her mom. "

He wasn't violent he just never listened. He said the more they spanked him the less respect he had for them.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Wth?   I don't agree with that. Children are blank slates and (minus some serious mental disorder) the parents or the discipline techniques are the problem. "

Exactly, our children or a product of us.

They abosrb what we do.

Quoting Laurnabeth:" He wasn't violent he just never listened. He said the more they spanked him the less respect he had for them."

But you just got through saying that they tried everything, in addition to spanking, and he wouldn't listen to anything or learn from anything. That's not just the spanking being an issue. That's him as well. What you just said also indicates that he made a decision to not behave, so it's not just the spanking or any other disciplinary technique they tried, it was him.

Quoting BelleDiabolique:" But you just got through saying that they tried everything, in addition to spanking, and he wouldn't ... [snip!] ... he made a decision to not behave, so it's not just the spanking or any other disciplinary technique they tried, it was him. "

But when he talks about it he said it was the spanking that made things worse, He lost respect for his parents for hitting him and he acted out more.

No punishment made him act up more than spanking.

It was ineffective, just cause it worked for you doesnt mean it works for everyone. And you saying that it wasn't the spanking but it was something else is stupid IMO.

Spanking can be ineffective with out it being the parents fault or whatever.

Sometimes it JUST DOESN'T WORK.

Your saying basically if it doesnt work then its because of anything except the spanking.

Sometimes, its the spanking. Nothing else.

Quoting BelleDiabolique:" But you just got through saying that they tried everything, in addition to spanking, and he wouldn't ... [snip!] ... he made a decision to not behave, so it's not just the spanking or any other disciplinary technique they tried, it was him. "

You don't know that. It sounds like to me they were very inconsistent and grasping at any discipline technique they could to try to control him. Some kids will buckle under the pressure of control and give in, others will continue to harden and harden against it.

Quoting Laurnabeth:" Your saying basically if it doesnt work then its because of anything except the spanking. Sometimes, its the spanking. Nothing else."

It's obvious it's her way or the highway..

Quoting ℳary ℐane:" It's obvious it's her way or the highway.. "

I see that.

Its just supid that spanking can never fail.

If it does it the parents/kids fault.

 

No. Doesn't get used in my household. My children are very well behaved and I didn't have to hit them get them that way.