idk what to do.
posted 4th Oct
Just a little background first. My DH and I have been married for 1 year and 10 months. He's the love of my life and I'm so lucky to have him. He treats me better than any other guy I've been with. But ever since we had our son things have been extremely hard on our marriage. We don't agree on certain things when it comes to our son and it's making us fight like crazy. He's in the military and he had to take a class for a little over a month and that's when things got even worse. He was never home, and when he was he was doing homework til he went to bed. So it was just me and our LO 24/7. We hardly ever talked, and when we did it was us screaming at each other over pointless things. Anyway, one day after class he came home and got on my laptop. The entire time I had this weird feeling that something wasn't right. So after he left, I grabbed my laptop and looked through the history. I saw that he was looking at a bunch of this girls pictures on facebook. She was in his class, I remember seeing her when I picked him up one day. So when he got home I confronted him about it. He basically laughed in my face and said that she was the study group leader and that I had nothing to worry about. So I kind of just brushed it off. He's never cheated or given me a reason to not trust him. Things started to get better again. I was happy.. up until last night. We were sitting on the couch and he was on his phone. I glanced over to see what he was looking at and he was going through his messages, and I saw that he was texting this girl, the same girl in his class. Now he graduated that class over a month ago, so I don't know why he would still be talking to her, let alone texting her. I didn't say anything to him because it was late and I didn't want to fight before we went to bed. So I held it in. In the middle of the night I took his phone and went through it I had a horrible gut feeling and I just couldn't shake the feeling anymore. So it turns out that HE texted her first about some homework assignment. Okay..cool. No big deal. But then they continue to keep texting. He was cracking jokes trying to get her to laugh. Last month we went to the doctors because he was sick and the baby needed shots. She works in the pediatricians office and she texted him that day saying 'oh i wanted to see you and say hi ' no... another text said 'i was thinking...and i know its not safe..but we should all hang out, including your wife' and he was like 'smurf im down, and yeah not real safe haha' what the hell, why wouldnt it be 'safe?' it's making me think something happened with them. I guess I just don't quite understand why he would be texting her when obviously it pissed me off he was going through his pictures.. what the hell. I don't have any business texting other guys and trying to 'make them laugh' or trying to hang out. I guess my question is, how do I confront him about this without him knowing I snooped through his phone? Also, the last text was from Sept. 13th.
quotesmurfs?posted 4th Oct
I personally would let it go. Especially because the text are nearly a month old.
quoteI have 1 child & live in
Kansasposted 4th Oct
That's a tough one. I have been through a similar situation with my SO and I confronted him but that's just me. The problem I always run into is that I dwell on it too much to let it go so I have to confront. Idk he sounds like he is the type to deny it and fly off the handle in the process.
quoteposted 4th Oct
Keep an eye on it, but dont flip out, or obsess over it. Wait and see what happens. If they did something, it will come out. Trust me, it always does. Just look for it, but dont let it drive you crazy or anything lol. It could just look bad, or it might be something, but you dont really have enough info to know for sure. Good luck hun, and I hope everything works out for you.
quoteposted 4th Oct
i wouldnt over think it too much, i mean they did want to include you in the hangout too right? so its not like they were planning it to go out just them behind your back.
i would just ask him about it, and let him no it bothers you.
quoteposted 4th Oct
thanks ladies. i will definitely talk to him about this. it may just be nothing, but i need to know for sure. he's always had more girl friends than guy friends. but this one just seems shady to me because he doesn't even mention her like he does all his other friends. i feel like he's hiding something.
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