Super Bummed :(

Okay let me just sum this up, My BD and I have been together since December. He has a past of alcohol abuse and getting violent. He has been violent towards me in the past to the point that I should have never forgiven him or taken him back.. That being said he promised to change and not drink and do better and help me out. He moved in with me about 2 months ago and things were okay-ish. He wasnt drinking as much and we seemed to be getting along for the most part but tonight he totally fell off the wagon! He got drunk and assaulted me, he tried to choke me and was obviously not going to stop. I was screaming and luckily I live with my parents so my dad heard me and came out and pulled him off of me, and eventually out the door. The cops came and took him away. I feel so sad and upset because I really wanted him to change and for us to be a family but obviously he needs a lot more help. I dont know what's going to happen to him because he has warrants for DUI in other counties (2) so I'm not sure how long he'll be gone. I just feel really disappointed in him, he knows I'm pregnant but still chose to assault me... who does that?! This all happened about 2 am. I don't know what to do, and I know I can't forgive him or let him come back around, he is obviously a danger to myself, my unborn child, and my family. I really don't know what would have happened if no one had heard me screaming... ugh hurts so bad..  

I feel really stupid because I'm one of those girls who thinks and says "how can she stay with that guy after he beat her up!" yet I keep forgiving him and letting him come back... I won't do it this time but I know it's going to be hard to resist talking to him and I know he's going to try to get me back .. </3

I am so sorry you are going through this. I would love to give you advice bit it sounds like you already know what you need to do. If you cannot do it for yourself do it for your baby. I know it is easier said then done just try to stay strong. I wish you both the best (you and baby)

I know, it just really sucks, I told him long before we ever got together that I wanted a guy who was going to be a real man and do what he needed to for his family. I've known him almost 3 years even though we've only been together since December. I know he won't change, he can't, he needs help... for alcohol and his own inner demons.

I'm going through a roller coaster of emotions right now, sad, mad, relieved, and still very much in shock at the whole incident..It was all over in about 15 minutes.

Well I really hope it all turn out for the best. Again, I am so sorry. try to remember that him drinking does not excuse it. You can't live in fear that if he slips he may hurt you.

That is very true! I don't know what could have happened if I had been alone or no one had heard me... I hope he feels ashamed of himself because I'm 5'2 and pregnant and he is bigger and stronger than me.

dont beat yourself up about it hun. Love is blinding and you want to see the best in people and have high hopes that they will change. Maybe going to jail for a while is going to be the best thing for him. It will give him time to sober up and get a good long foundation of sober time to think about where he wants his life to go. I hope for you and your childs sake that he does get better, but now you know that you cant just give him the benefit of a doubt. You have to look out for yourself and your child at this point. He is no longer number one, You and your baby have taken that place! I hope things get better for you and I'm praying that no man ever puts a hand on you ever again!

what would have happened is you baby would've/ might have gone without oxygen and maybe have died. not to mention you. btw maybe you should call your ob and let them know whats up if you were unable to breath at all during his rampage. I'm here if you ever need to talk. I won't pass judgement on your choices, but will definately give my opinion.

Thank you ladies, so so much! I feel better just being able to talk about it.
I know what I need to do, focus on myself and my children. I know he won't change, at least not anytime soon and will definitely need some serious counseling if he /wants/ to change. I know I can do this on my own and I am ready and willing to, I have my family's support.

Also he was not able to get his hands around my neck , I kept pushing him away and even kicked him a couple of times because I was sitting and he was standing over me. I feel okay physically, and have no markings to show for it.

Quoting HeyLuv:" Okay let me just sum this up, My BD and I have been together since December. He has a past of alcohol ... [snip!] ... do it this time but I know it's going to be hard to resist talking to him and I know he's going to try to get me back .. </3"

girlfriend.... if you ever want to talk... I have been in your shoes... its scary yes. I too have been that girl who takes the guy back who is an alcoholic who abuses and whom I have given tons of chances to. A lot of people call me stupid, crazy.... and yes we are still together, Ill tell you why. Ill type my story when I get to work....

Quoting Leland makes Three =]:" girlfriend.... if you ever want to talk... I have been in your shoes... its scary yes. I too have been ... [snip!] ... of people call me stupid, crazy.... and yes we are still together, Ill tell you why. Ill type my story when I get to work...."

thank you, please do let me know  

Im sorry   sounds like my 1st babies dad... He never hit me till I got preg, at least he got arrested, I never had the nerve to call the cops on him, maybe this is what he needs to help straighten him out, my ex ended up going to prison for gun charges... When he came out he was a lil more mature, but we never were able to get back together, I just didn't want that life... Our sons 6 now and were *finally* amble to co parent... Just hang in there, I know what ur going thru, just know this is best for ur baby...

Quoting HeyLuv:" Thank you ladies, so so much! I feel better just being able to talk about it. I know what I need to do, ... [snip!] ... couple of times because I was sitting and he was standing over me. I feel okay physically, and have no markings to show for it."

Thank goodness he wasnt able to choke you choke you! I hope he does get past his prblems. Try at minimum not t take him back at minumum until he gets some anger help. At least jail willl give him a rude awakening and maybe he can even gets sme help in there no to mention he has to sober up. Years ago I had a bf (my sons bio dad) who hit me once, he never did it again. Now he beats his girlfriend bad as well as her daughter. Not his kids though. Just sickens me how people could go out of their way to hurt people like that. Hang in there sweety.

I've been there 8 years ago! Except i wasn't pregnant! I was one of those girls too who said how can you stay with him even after he know he beats you. It's easy, it's basically brainwashing! They make you think it's your fault he did what he did! But I hope you know that's NOT the case! It's all him! I know it's hard thing to go through. What you need to do is find a support group and talk about what's going on with you. I did that, and I don't where I would be if I didn't have it. PLease don't take him back, don't keep living in that hell! But hang in there, things WILL get better!

Quoting HeyLuv:" I know, it just really sucks, I told him long before we ever got together that I wanted a guy who was ... [snip!] ... right now, sad, mad, relieved, and still very much in shock at the whole incident..It was all over in about 15 minutes."

I went through the same with my ex, but unfortunately, when he got violent it cost us our baby. :/ But I still held on, you're a lot smarter than I was, it took me a year to let him go.
I cannot, and will not let him back into my life EVER and neither should you. I've forgiven him, but that doesn't change who and what he's become. You're right, they do not change. Focus on you're little angel and you will be just fine. If you ever want to talk I'm happy to listen or give advice.

thanks ladies, they let him out and he walked back to my house, even with two warrants in other counties! Anyways he asked to use a phone and told my dad it was my fault and that i provoked him known how he is when he drinks ... because that totally makes things better...