re: absentee fathers and their pride..

Quoting The Doctor:" Most states won't legally allow it without someone to adopt the child in their stead (and that generally requires the other person adopting to be married to the other parent for X amount of time)."

yeah I know all about that. i hope its only a year that we need to be married for because I really want to get this going.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 30:" yeah I know all about that. i hope its only a year that we need to be married for because I really want to get this going."

Most states it's a year... but you will need the "absentee"s consent to have him adopt. Any contact is contact in the eyes of the law, even if he's uninterested, and his rights won't be terminated through the courts (as far as I'm aware).

Quoting The Doctor:" If he's on the BC, yes, you'll need his signature. And even YOUR phone contact with him is contact, ... [snip!] ... Most states require YOU to also initiate calls in order to try and get the absentee involved... even though it's ridiculous."

i would need proof of that though right? because I called him all the time at one point and he would only make empty promises to me but i dont think i have proof of that.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 30:" i guess I need to do some more research about this and hopefully it applies with me too. my daughter's ... [snip!] ... question: if he doesn't think one of the girls is his even though she has his last name would I still need his signature?"

Would he accept bribery? I know that sounds horrible of me, but I say try to bribe him into it if all else fails.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 30:" i would need proof of that though right? because I called him all the time at one point and he would only make empty promises to me but i dont think i have proof of that."

If you spoke with him on the phone, that's contact. He'd definitely have to sign his rights away.

Most states require about 2 years of non-contact (that means you trying to call him, absolutely no contact for about two years, not just you ignoring calls or him being uninterested).

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Would he accept bribery? I know that sounds horrible of me, but I say try to bribe him into it if all else fails. "

I like this idea.  

My bio father isn't even on my birth certificate but he is on my sisters so he only had to pay child support for the kid he wanted  

But I know a few girls who unfortunately have children to deadbeat dads and they seem to want to keep their rights but not actually do anything with them because they feel that the legal part is all that's necessary. I guess like my bio dad, the very fact that they are biologically related means more than doing anything for the kids.

Stupid reasoning, but there you go.

It took 6 months of my dd's dad to be gone from her life to have his rights signed away. Then he was ordered to pay me child support. But quit his job 3 months later just so he didnt have to pay me anytthing.

She is now 10 and see's her dad once in a while when she visits his family and that. And its her decision if she wants to see him, since he has been a big failure in her life.

She was 1 when she split up and 18 months when the court took away his rights to her.

Quoting Cariad (SuperKink):" My bio father isn't even on my birth certificate but he is on my sisters so he only had to pay child ... [snip!] ... very fact that they are biologically related means more than doing anything for the kids. Stupid reasoning, but there you go."

Ding ding ding. Sounds just like BD.  

My daughters bio dad won't sign his rights over because his mom won't let him. He(or his family) hasn't seen or tried to see her in almost five years and and hasn't paid child support in over a year. We are planning on having my DH adopt her soon(she knows him as her daddy, he has been there since she was born). It's going to be a long, expensive process since he won't sign his rights over so now we have to get them terminated.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Would he accept bribery? I know that sounds horrible of me, but I say try to bribe him into it if all else fails. "

he might fall for it since he's broke and useless but i'd have to get my husband on board with that idea since it'll be his money.

Quoting Mrs. Mommy to 6 ღ 30:" he might fall for it since he's broke and useless but i'd have to get my husband on board with that idea since it'll be his money."

Or, you could be really cruel and say "half now, half after"... when he signs the paper ..... bye loser!     

Yeah, I'm not nice, and I'm okay with that!  

Quoting Deanna♥:" My daughters bio dad won't sign his rights over because his mom won't let him. He(or his family) hasn't ... [snip!] ... born). It's going to be a long, expensive process since he won't sign his rights over so now we have to get them terminated. "

i think we might have to go that route too. I really thought he wouldnt have a problem with it since he didn't even want kids with me   he's such a bitch.

I think most guys that are deadbeats won't sign over their rights for pride, power and spite. If they have some sort of issue with you, that would be the best way to show you how they feel. I didn't even give my BD that chance. He's a POS, a loser, and I wasn't giving him the opportunity to hurt my daughter like he hurt me. He's not on the BC and all he has is a couple pictures to show people and tell them how horrible of a person I am to not let him kidnap her.   I hope you can get it settled with a bribe. If he's broke, then he really can't afford to put up too much of a fight right?

Here they dont have a choice. The court will just take them away. If you ask them too.
Nothing to it. You just ask and state why. Never heard of a judge here that wont take them away when asked too.