Single moms w/ kids asking for "him"

I changed the gender due to [my] circumstances, I have a son. The song says [she].

"Some day, when he's old enough,
He's gonna start askin' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,
An' gets his little mind a-wonderin':
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?
"Does he not love me like you do?"
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,
An' I'll tell him when he's old enough to know the truth.

Will it break his heart?
Will he understand,
That I had to leave?..."

ugh I know .... how would you tell them

My 3 year old has already asked about his daddy. Nothing too deep. But it still breaks my heart.

 

My son was given BD's last name on the BC and I had it changed last year to mine because BD is never around. But prior to that, my son wanted to know why we all couldn't be Plummer. So I had to explain at 5 years old.. And what it came down to was that Mr. Plummer was a man who was really mean to mommy and he even made a hole in the door with his fist. And when DS was born, Mr. Plummer didn't want to be a daddy and didn't want to help take care of DS, so mommy sent him away. (Insert my son's name for DS when telling this to him).

Kids have a strong sense of loyalty to their mommies and/or whoever takes care of them. Especially little boys. They love their mommies. So he was more concerned with that man being mean to mommy and not wanting to help take care of DS as a baby. That's what mattered to him. He hasn't asked about his father since.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" My son was given BD's last name on the BC and I had it changed last year to mine because BD is never ... [snip!] ... mommy and not wanting to help take care of DS as a baby. That's what mattered to him. He hasn't asked about his father since."

 
Sorry you went through that, but that is a terrible thing to tell a child IMO! Children don't need to hear the truth ALL of the time.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" My son was given BD's last name on the BC and I had it changed last year to mine because BD is never ... [snip!] ... mommy and not wanting to help take care of DS as a baby. That's what mattered to him. He hasn't asked about his father since."

am sorry... I feel like crying how would i tell my son his father past way...

Quoting ma ♥:"   Sorry you went through that, but that is a terrible thing to tell a child IMO! Children don't need to hear the truth ALL of the time."

You raise your kids the way you want, and I'll raise mine the way I want. He doesn't know the full truth and won't until he's older. His father is a man whore who has 4 children by 3 different women. Two of his kids are now in his mother's custody. He's in and out of jail for child support issues as well as violating probation for robbing an Arby's. Trust me. A hole in the wall is nothing compared to who his father fully is.

Quoting ☆ IVAN'S MAMI:" am sorry... I feel like crying how would i tell my son his father past way... "

Are you religious? We're Christian so he knows our late grandparents got really, really sick and they went to go be with Jesus so they didn't have to be sick anymore. But idk if you're religious or not. You could explain that daddy was very very sick or hurting a lot (I'm not sure how daddy passed away) and that daddy went somewhere to get better. And that should suffice until he's old enough to comprehend death better.

I think what you told your son was good.. it was a perfect story for a little boy... & i am he got in a car crash ....

I was selfish and let them see what I went thru but my oldest refuses to talk to her dad and my youngest cries for him everyday I get on the phone and blow him up til he answers for her but the way I see it is that he just didnt want me but of you cant do.tgat due to him just tell him you guys werent happy together and make up something like he went to live far away to work it will keep them quiet till they are older and less likely to be really hurt by things

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" You raise your kids the way you want, and I'll raise mine the way I want. He doesn't know the full truth ... [snip!] ... well as violating probation for robbing an Arby's. Trust me. A hole in the wall is nothing compared to who his father fully is."</blockquote>

Regardless of what a smurffy person and father your sons birth father is, your son is still half his father. I would be careful about saying to many negative things. He may pick up that he might be "bad" because his father is bad. Kwim?

Quoting MamaM!!!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):</b>" You raise your kids the way ... [snip!] ... I would be careful about saying to many negative things. He may pick up that he might be "bad" because his father is bad. Kwim?"

I do get what you're saying, but he's 6 and doesn't fully understand genetics or that we get our behaviors from our parents and surroundings. Nor do we talk about his father. He asked about him once. I explained. He's never brought him up again. And in the future if he wants to have a full on discussion, then we can do that. We can talk about all the good things and the bad things and let him go from there.

My 3 yr old son calls my dad, "daddy"...He understands that, that's his grandpa and he sometimes calls him grandpa but most of the time he just calls him "daddy" I'm not quite sure he understand what the word means either, Although he did call my boyfriend of over 1 yr, "daddy" a few times and we kind of just looked at each other and shrug it off, most of the time he calls my boyfriend "My Daniel" not sure where the "My" came from but w/e. Also my bf has a 6 yr old daughter which i think is probably why my son called him "daddy" those few times, from hearing her. He hasn't seen his dad in over 1 yr because he is a pos, and even then that one time he saw him he had no idea that, that was his daddy. I'm not sure what i'd say to him when he finally does ask me....His biological father did me extremely wrong and I don't want to come out and say what he did so i think i'll probably go with the whole "he was mean to mommy" thing....and then explain it to him when he gets old enough to understand, it also sucks that i have pix with his dad in his baby scrapbook that would ruin the scrapbook if i would try to take them out. I just figure, well...we were happy once upon a time and then thing just took a turn....It's a scary thought for me, for when this day comes..... 

This is what I'm going through with my 3yro. He talks about his dad non-stop and like he just saw him yesterday. Except he hasn't seen him in 6 months.
He asks from time to time when we get in the car if we're going to his dad's. Asks a lot where he is.... pretends to have phone calls with him. A 3, I have no idea what to tell him. I told him his daddy had been naughty and was in time out and he had made some bad decisions...