think twice about becoming a vegan (lol)

sorry, i was a vegetarian for 10 years and i just found this funny and had to share!  


if you ARE a vegan or vegetarian, what is your reasoning, out of curiosity?

  

Haha look up Carrot Juice Is Murder by the Arrogant Worms.
"Vegetables live in oppression
Served on our tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness
I say we take up the fight"

Quoting Evelyn Lilianas Mama:" sorry, i was a vegetarian for 10 years and i just found this funny and had to share!   if you ARE a vegan or vegetarian, what is your reasoning, out of curiosity?"

lol that gave me a good laugh.  

Teehee, I have something similar, that my dad wrote, but I only have it saved on google docs

eta: It's a bit of a read, but it's fun


I am a carnivore, a compassionate selfless carnivore. I only ask for *one* single animal to be sacrificed for my continuing sustenance. One animal, let’s say a ‘cow’ could sustain myself and even a small family for weeks before I compassionately look for another. I do not need to selfishly slaughter a herd or two for some fantastical voracious daily appetite; a single bird, a single cow, can do well for such a long time. Yet, needlessly, I am and people like myself are painted as ruthless murders who crave blood and violence to sate my base and lowly ways. I am horrified by my benign ways being portrayed in such a dark light while the culprits of evil gossip look like angels who bear our maelstrom. I am one with the Earth and its respected boundaries.

Let us uncover the truth of these so-called innocent people who are superficially white and pure, let us expose the Vegetarians for what they truly are – mass murders of a gravity that surpasses any that evil demons can conjure! Let us understand just who these insidious creatures of death really are. Plants, vegetation, the botanical world, are creatures God placed on this planet for our care – but they care very little for the plight of the weak and innocent.

Farmers, the grand priests of death, plant in God’s rich ground unknowingly innocent seeds to propagate and grow in the bright warm sun, enjoying a nice breeze or a natural watering and coming to their maturity, only to be dug up, cut down or ‘harvested’ for the farmers personal nutrition. A carrot does not know that by growing in its natural way will be subjected to the insidious ways of these priests of death by cutting off its God given life before its expected time just to be skinned, shredded and cooked for a ‘nutritional value’ for some equally evil family. It’s not just one life, but many hundreds of lives lost in an afternoon of botanical carnage, just to suit the insatiable appetite of the said and angelic ‘vegetarians’. A salad is by definition a mass murder of indiscriminate indigenous creatures, think of that with ‘Italian dressing and crotons’...

Look at a loaf of bread, hundreds, nay thousands of carcasses sacrificed for the sadistical desire of morning ‘toast’. I shudder at the needless mass deaths needed to please the ever insatiable vegetarians. I cry at a field of wheat, as I look at the millions of souls waving peacefully in a quiet breeze, knowing that their fate is unfortunately assured, knowing that in a mere few weeks the farmer, the angel of death, will descend upon their home for the massive brutal slaughter, taking no quarter until every stem and seed is rendered happily in the enemy’s hand. Is there no sanctity of life? Splash the blood Moses, splash the blood!!

I asked for one living soul to render its life for my nutritional needs but a vegetarian asks for the reckless slaughter of thousands for their feeding frenzy, why must they die, why?

When a cow gives us the milk of their breast so we may benignly create milk products and yogurt’s and butter and many other wonderful foods; a Vegan then proclaims that as unfit and unhealthy, determined to make the plant world pay for their ‘proper’ principles. Does nature not deserve the respect it deserves, not so from the ruthless attitudes of these demonic miscreants? Where is the justice?

Fruitarians are even worse; their perverted ways of dismembering the botanical ovaries of a tree is an unfoundedly cruel. We now understand that plants, through scientific research, feel and ‘know’ things during distress, so when a happy fruitarian goes to a mature tree which is ‘in season’, bearing its possible offspring for a future reproductive guarantee, and rips off a fruit, a baby not yet born, a seed of its own kind, the tree would be incensed and saddened. Think of how you would feel; an orchardist, another priest of sadist pretense, forcibly removes a peach tree’s unborn, and hungrily devours it right there beneath the sad limbs of the mother. She is unable to react, unable to cry, unable to pray for justice, yet the evil instigator revels at how wonderfully juicy and wholesome her offspring was. Absolutely sickening. The fruitarian is evil incarnate.

I am a carnivore, patient and kind, able to resist the temptation of destroying the worlds, nay God’s creations in such an evil reckless manner. May those who justify themselves as innocent vegetarians or vegans or fruitarians feel the anguish that they inflict upon this Earth and it’s kind. May God answer those who cry up from the ground in their mantles of martyrness and smite them without compromise. And may the benevolent carnivores live fruitful and peaceful lives under the care and direction all things righteous!

Please spread the truth to all!

Oh that's good, I know a vegan who would get a good laugh out of that.

I was a vegetarian for about 3 years in middle school/high school. Kept to it, but then decided to stop, it was sort of an experiment.

 


I was for a couple of years. Mainly for saving animals.
Then I worked at Quiznos and got a whiff of bacon and never looked back