Quoting Not tellin:" We have been thru counseling twice now. My husband hears what he wants. Our counselor told him that ... [snip!] ... Also, he is only home about 5 days at a time for a total of 10 days a month. That is if he doesn't get an extended hitch."
i get that you're tired bc you're with the kids all the time. but he's also working hard for the things yall have and being able to support yall. so while yes, i do understand feeling exhausted from the kids, he's probably exhausted too. it sounds like you have communication issues, and honestly, i would sit my DH down and discuss them. i can understand his sexual frustrations, but i also understand where you're coming from as well. why dont yall try to pick a day when he's going to be home, after the kids are in bed, stay up late an extra hour or two, have a "date night" together. sit down and watch a movie together. have a late night dinner together. cuddle. talk. i think yall need a reconnection. maybe if yall did something like that you could tell him it's not about you wanting him to completely take over the kids when he's home. but like, do a load of laundry, fold it. or help clean up after you cook. or help get the kids bathed and in bed. little things like that. i had to ask DH for help as well (but we are recently married, and my girls aren't his).
maybe you could emphasize if he helps you with little things like that, you would probably be more willing to have sex more often, bc he is taking some of the stress off of you and you wont feel like you have to do everything by yourself just bc your a SAHM. kwim?