re: Soooo

Quoting Twin's Mommy:" 3500 is ALOT more than we live on a month.. Maybe it's just a rough spot, we have them frequently... Is he home or gone now?"

He was gone during all this. The girls and I were in California for a wedding. He was left home with our son for 5 days. He got a little taste of my average day. I only saw him for an hour before he left to go back to work again. I told him that I was tired of being disrespected and that he could either stop of we were going to explore other means. I think he finally understands that this is MY body and I am not obligated under any circumstance to share it with him.


$3500 is plenty for us but I have a house in AZ that I will have to pay for as well as the place we choose to live without him. If I didn't have that house (his name is not on it), it would be MORE than enough! lol

I am a firm believer in divorce...and I never thought I would ever say that. I stayed in a marriage for 4 years because I was "financially" dependent and I KNEW he would make it hard for me to divorce him and have my daughter. Let me tell you, I am SO MUCH HAPPIER where I am now. If you are not happy and he isn't caring about your health... I would give him a wake up call. I have moved on to someone who is constantly there for me even with him being deployed. He has been there more for me in my darkest times than my ex husband was when I had cancer and had a hysterectomy.

Im sorry things are so down for you... Im sorry, your husband sounds like a Class A jerk. Sometimes I wonder how woman raise their sons to be like that  

He isn't a douche bag all the time. Matter of fact, it is rare. The issue is that when he is, he goes all out with no holds barred.

Quoting Not tellin:" I don't typicall put my private life out there but I am in need of some honest advice and some alternatives ... [snip!] ... pretty much made a normal job impossible. UGH! Some times I just hate him so much I question my decisions all those years ago!"

Honestly, men need respect and women need love. Give your husband unconditional respect and watch how things turn around. I promise you it will stop this crazy cycle you're in. And I agree with what the other women are saying about sex. When my husband and I are fighting and we have sex, the disagreement just kinda goes away and we are closer and more connected. I'm sorry I'm not giving you the answers you want, but you could just give it a try. What have you got to lose?

Quoting Kay Peezy:" Honestly, men need respect and women need love. Give your husband unconditional respect and watch how ... [snip!] ... more connected. I'm sorry I'm not giving you the answers you want, but you could just give it a try. What have you got to lose?"

Respect? You think that I should respect him when he behaves like that? Honestly?

No, I don't put out just because he wants some. I am not putting band aids on a deeper issue.

Quoting Not tellin:" Respect? You think that I should respect him when he behaves like that? Honestly? No, I don't put out just because he wants some. I am not putting band aids on a deeper issue. "

Yes, you have to start somewhere. You being stubborn and not giving any is just as bad as his behavior. It takes two people to work on a marriage, and if you're not willing to start somewhere, you may as well just give up now.

Quoting Kay Peezy:" Yes, you have to start somewhere. You being stubborn and not giving any is just as bad as his behavior. ... [snip!] ... It takes two people to work on a marriage, and if you're not willing to start somewhere, you may as well just give up now. "

You are clearly mistaken on your idea of a marriage.

#1. I do not disprespect him to any degree at any time. He is disrespecting me.

#2. It isn't a matter of being stubborn. IF you bothered to read the entire thread you would have got a full story. I also own my body not anyone else. If I am not in the mood or am too tired, that is ok. I am allowed to make that decision for myself. I am a big girl.

#3. I am fully aware of it taking 2 people to make a marriage work. I have been married nearly 10 years. You are preaching to the choir.

At the end of the day, I am not going to roll over and allow him to think that it is ok to continue to disprespect me. That is never ok in a relationship let alone a marriage. If you want to be a doormat in your marriage and put bandaids over your issues, that is your deal. I am very clear when I say I will not excuse the behavior or put a bandaid over the problems. We work thru our issues. The point of me asking advice is to see if there was a way I could reach him to understand that my feelings are important too.

Quoting Not tellin:" You are clearly mistaken on your idea of a marriage. #1. I do not disprespect him to any degree at ... [snip!] ... The point of me asking advice is to see if there was a way I could reach him to understand that my feelings are important too. "

I agree 100%

jeez laura, im sorry i didnt see this before. i dont know why you'r posts dont come up on my main screen thingy.

you know that i think you should leave him, or at least get legally separated by the court and let him see how much not only needs your body, but everything else you do for him. i find that disgusting he would bring up sex and his needs to you and complain about not getting any when he's far away like that. just gross. how are you even supposed to respond to that?! its not like you're getting either!

on the other hand, you could do a better job of trying to satisfy his needs, and maybe in turn he would be happier and want to help you more around the house. someone has the be the first to give in. while it would be poetic and amazing if you could both compromise a little and inch closer towards each other to that infinite embrace;... well yeah that smurf isnt going to happen.

good luck with things.

hey get me on fb i want to ask you something, my stupid phone isnt letting me text/call out after i dl'd ios6 pain in the balls man!

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" jeez laura, im sorry i didnt see this before. i dont know why you'r posts dont come up on my main screen ... [snip!] ... me on fb i want to ask you something, my stupid phone isnt letting me text/call out after i dl'd ios6 pain in the balls man!"

LOL Well, he has a very long 25 days to be thinking about his behavior these past few weeks. I will tell you that I did come back from California he left the house clean for me!! I was amazed at his effort. We are getting along better because I did give him the ultimatum on him showing respect or I am out. Since that smurf show of a wedding is over and we are back on a routine, I think he will stop stressing so much. That damn thing cost me over $4k and the bitchy bride didn't so much as say thank you for coming or offer to pick up the lunch ticket!!! UGH! So glad that is done. I couldn't put that on FB because she is on there and I am over the drama for a while. lol

Quoting Not tellin:" LOL Well, he has a very long 25 days to be thinking about his behavior these past few weeks. I will ... [snip!] ... ticket!!! UGH! So glad that is done. I couldn't put that on FB because she is on there and I am over the drama for a while. lol"

i hope he got a nice blow job and some seriously kinky sex for cleaning the house!

and you spend $4,000 on that weekend wedding? how is that even possible... better yet WHY would you do that?

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" i hope he got a nice blow job and some seriously kinky sex for cleaning the house! and you spend $4,000 on that weekend wedding? how is that even possible... better yet WHY would you do that? "

Well, he got nothing. He picked us up from the airport and had to head out to work. The good part is he didn't complain about not having time to get any!

Between the cost of the fricken flights, rooms, car, dresses, shoes, food and all her last minute BS, Dustin tallied me at $4100 and change. I am not even sure why I said yes to be in the damn wedding anyway. I know that my girls are a novelty being twins and all so of course she had to have them, but I haven't seen her face to face in 11 years. We were roomates when I was in college and stayed in touch but, never visited after she moved back to california. Now with the wedding over and the stress of the expense on it, he does seem to be a little more relaxed and I am not so uptight about the fricken disaster that surrounded it.

Quoting Not tellin:" Well, he got nothing. He picked us up from the airport and had to head out to work. The good part is ... [snip!] ... expense on it, he does seem to be a little more relaxed and I am not so uptight about the fricken disaster that surrounded it."

wow, that's crazy... 11 years of not seeing eachother and she wants you and your kids in her wedding? that's a little ridiculous. $4,000 is just outrageous, especially when you're trying to buy a house and having some financial trouble. smurf. steve would have killed me for dropping that much money on a wedding weekend. my best friend / college roommate got married last september and i was her maid of honor. i spent NOTHING. she paid for my dress, the alternations, my heels, undergarments, manicure and pedicure, hotel room at the place she had her reception, then a HUUUUGE thank you bag with probably another $500 easily worth of stuff.

your "friend" is crazy, you should have said no to that one! what were you thinking?! i still cant figure out how that stuff adds up to $4000! a lot of people do their entire wedding for under that.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" wow, that's crazy... 11 years of not seeing eachother and she wants you and your kids in her wedding? ... [snip!] ... thinking?! i still cant figure out how that stuff adds up to $4000! a lot of people do their entire wedding for under that. "

We aren't having financial trouble. He didn't want me spending that kind of money on her. If I am having financial trouble, I am in big trouble. lol He brings in far too much monthly for me to be having financial issues.

She was crazy and I couldn't believe how rude she behaved. I spent $2600 alone on the flights and room. Remember, I took the twins with me. The girls dresses were $230 each and mine was $180. I just couldn't believe that she didn't bother to pay for our dresses. Then we had to pay for our own hair, nails and pedicures. Fortunately, she "allowed" me to do the girls hair and paint their fingers and toes myself. On top of all that mess I still had to pay for all our meals while we were there. Her low budget ass had a sandwich bar for her reception dinner!!! Have you ever heard of such a thing!?!?!?!? I obviously had to take the girls after the reception and get some real food.

My wedding was done on a $5k budget and my guests ate a very nice dinner! lol I just don't get it. Oh well, it is over and that is one less stress!!