I cheated

I don't know how to tell DH that I cheated on him last night and I don't feel bad about it. The only guilt I am feeling is because the man I slept with last night has known DH since he was born. This is going to be kind of long, so from here on out I will refer to the other man as X.

I haven't had sex with DH in about six months. He hates affection as much as any hard core guy and never shows emotion. Usually I an okay with it, but for some reason having a guy tell you how much he wants you really got to me.

I have no excuse. I wasn't drunk nor was I coerced. I've had a crush on this man for awhile. He is 24 years older than me, my FIL's best friend for twenty years, and a former boss of mine. X is in the process of getting a divorce, but just moved out last well. He and I have kissed on occasion, but last night was the first time I have had sex with him.

He says we should continue an affair long term until his divorce is finalized and that I should separate from DH. I honestly don't know if I still love DH. I don't see how I can if I don't feel the least bit of guilt in cheating on him. X says that if I left, he would pay for everything I needed. We talked about lavish vacations and going places we could be out in the open without worry.

How do I make a decision like that? Do I just come out and tell DH that I cheated on him even though it would ruin X's business and that would be the end of us also? Do I continue a quiet affair? Do I not say or continue anything?

Well honestly, what is your heart saying? It usually knows when it's over.

Listen to your heart. Figure out if you love him or not. If not, leave. I personally don't think that he needs to know about the cheating if you don't want to be with him. But if you plan on staying with him I would definitely be honest and upfront.

Just be honest and tell him the truth.

And thats it, go from there. Only you can decide if you want to continue on with it or continue on with your DH...kwim?

But he will make the final say if he stil wants to be with you. Be honest.

Who do you see yourself with in your future?
Do you love you DH? Or do you love the idea of being with him.
I think you need to tell him, wait for everything to blow over.
If you want to stay with your DH I think you guys should seek marriage counseling.

I would say something to your husband.

You say something. While he may not show his feelings he still has them. If you don't feel guilty and are willing to do it again, you leave him, let him find his happiness in life if you aren't going to be it. I'm not trying to sound rude, but don't keep him hanging on to something he thinks is there when its not.

If you want to stay with DH then you should tell him and not continue anything.
If you want to be with X you should leave DH now or not continue the affair until you do leave him.
Just because you're not in love with him anymore doesnt mean its fair to be cheating on him.

If your husband has no affection toward you, it can make you feel lonely and like you aren't in love. You got some attention you felt you deserved last night. I think you need to tell your husband how you feel, and what you did. Why not try counseling if you want to work on your marriage?

Because this man has promised you those things does not mean they will be true. He is going through a hard time as well and is looking for a shoulder.

IMO you get out of a marriage that you no longer want to be in and then you start dating. I don't understand cheating. If you don't feel guilty then you don't need to stay married as your marriage means nothing if you could kiss this guy and have a crush on him then proceed to sleep with him. I'm sure things won't be all that wonderful in the future with Mr. X either. He doesn't sound like a stand up guy. Sleeping with a friends wife.

Have you tried talking to SO about your relationship problems? I dont feel good about this new guy, it seems a little rushed, like a rebound, for both of you. If you truly dont love SO anymore, are you sure its in your best interests to start a heavy relationship with this new guy?

If I were in your situation, I would not say anything.
If you are considering having an affair...are you doing it because you love/like or because he is a good piece of ass or the adrenaline?

I think you should be truthful to your husband, rather than continuing an affair in the hopes that this guy is going to be your sugar daddy.

Do your DH a favor and tell him the truth and leave...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Becky☮Will:</b>" If you want to stay with DH then you should tell him and not continue anything. If you want to be with ... [snip!] ... affair until you do leave him. Just because you're not in love with him anymore doesnt mean its fair to be cheating on him."</blockquote>


My thoughts exactly.