how do you feel about your children watching you labour?

Ok, i'm a bit worried. We moved over to a new country, we have no family here and very few friends, most of the people I know are from work.
I have a little girl who will be 3 in November and i'm due february. The problem comes if i go into labour in the middle of the night. Daytime is not an issue as she is in daycare and can be in 7.30 to 6.00pm if needed and they will feed her. At night there is noone to take care of her. I had an emergency section with my 1st after a 52hour labour. Now i do intend to stay at home as long as i can but im not sure if we had to is it wise to take her to hospital with us. The choice i have is labouring alone so DH can take care of her and him missing the birth which is just a disaster or risking tramatising her by watching her mummy give birth. I don't know what to do. Whats your opinion?

I feel like it does not traumatize children, so...

Unless you're screaming like a banshee and losing massive amounts of blood, I don't think it would traumatize her.

Quoting £egendary Zeppelin:" I feel like it does not traumatize children, so..."

This.

My siblings and I watched our mother deliver my little brother. As long as she knows what to expect, she should be fine. She might cover her ears, but she will be fine and it is a great experience. Let her know about the noises, maybe even watch a video and explain what is happening as the video is on.

My two year old was there for the birth of my youngest. My doula was kind enough to hold her while I was pushing so my husband could hold me. She saw EVERYTHING. She screamed when the baby came out then looked at me. Mommy the baby is blue. Then she got pink then it was "Mommy the baby is wet and messy" She quickly got down and went back to watching her movie.

i a planning to try and hypnobith if i can so i'm hoping screaming will be minimal. with my first, i was that off it on gas and air and the mouth piece barely out of my mouth that there was not much vocalising. She is quite grown up and i've started to explain breast feeding to her. I like the idea of showing her a video. I also have to sound out the hospital. If they say no to kids we are stuffed. My DH doesn't want me home birthing a vbac although i am not opposed, i can see his concerns. Its just 1 stress i could do without.
I know in communities all round the world where birth is a part of life and is watched by the whole family, there is no awkwardness. I just wondered how I can prepare a sheltered little girl who gets really upset when her mummy cries to experence something so overwhelming

I don't think it's a big deal as long as there is an adult there that is responsible for just the child if he/she wigs out. SOunds like if you had someone to do that the child would be at home with that person. If you are doing a hospital birth, just and FYI don't expect the nurses to watch out for the child, they will not have time

Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:" I don't think it's a big deal as long as there is an adult there that is responsible for just the child ... [snip!] ... If you are doing a hospital birth, just and FYI don't expect the nurses to watch out for the child, they will not have time"

Yeah, there is noone so i have a difficult choice. I'm too scared to do this alone though. My last labour was so horrific. I've been offered a csection which would be so much easier to do as it would be done when she was in daycare but i felt so disempowered, so let down after my last birth ans this is my last child, i just wanted the opportunity to do this to heal some emotional scars. I maybe have to just suck it up and remember that i'm a mummy now and that means i have to take care of both my children and stop being so selfish. But i don't want to have PND as bad as i did last time and I think that the way she was born lead to that. I was so ill after the section and looking after 2 children when you are post op would be hard. the recovery after vaginal birth is much quicker and would enable me to enjoy the first 6 weeks rather than just cope.

Quoting Jerri _:" Unless you're screaming like a banshee and losing massive amounts of blood, I don't think it would traumatize her."

 

Quoting Rachel Dallimore:" Yeah, there is noone so i have a difficult choice. I'm too scared to do this alone though. My last labour ... [snip!] ... be hard. the recovery after vaginal birth is much quicker and would enable me to enjoy the first 6 weeks rather than just cope."

Are you high risk?

Quoting Rachel Dallimore:" Yeah, there is noone so i have a difficult choice. I'm too scared to do this alone though. My last labour ... [snip!] ... be hard. the recovery after vaginal birth is much quicker and would enable me to enjoy the first 6 weeks rather than just cope."

hire a doula - they can be there for you and the child - heck hire two - one for the kid one for you

Quoting BoogerBear's Momma:" Are you high risk?"

yes she is a VBAC

Quoting nursemaya -mommy to 2:" hire a doula - they can be there for you and the child - heck hire two - one for the kid one for you"

A doula, now that may work, I'm not high risk apart from the fact i've had a prevoius section. It was a natural conception and apart from being a slightly older mum (36), i'm quite fit and well My pelvic pain means i'm hobbling quite alot at 19 weeks but shouldn't stop me delivering. I may try to investigate doulas a bit more. I don't know much about them

Quoting Rachel Dallimore:" A doula, now that may work, I'm not high risk apart from the fact i've had a prevoius section. It was ... [snip!] ... alot at 19 weeks but shouldn't stop me delivering. I may try to investigate doulas a bit more. I don't know much about them"

Ah.

Yes. They are wonderful and would be nice to have. My mom is one and I think having one there was the best thing that I could have done...and I was in a hospital.

Quoting Rachel Dallimore:" A doula, now that may work, I'm not high risk apart from the fact i've had a prevoius section. It was ... [snip!] ... alot at 19 weeks but shouldn't stop me delivering. I may try to investigate doulas a bit more. I don't know much about them"

A Doula sounds like a good idea, I think the other women are right, It wouldn't do her any harm to see (So long as all goes well) And she'd soon forget the most of it anyway.

If not a Doula you could always consider getting a babysitter, You have plenty of time between now and then to familiarize LO with one so she is comfortable enough to be left with a babysitter should you choose to do that rather than taking her in, Just make sure you let the Babysitter know she will be required to drop everything and be available ASAP once your labour starts.