Quoting amc ❤:" He says he wants to be, and while he isnt paying anything right now he is supposed to start next month ... [snip!] ... away from their dad. I mean obviously if we moved i'd do skype and send pictures and videos and try to schedule a visit yearly."
Well, your kids will definitely understand when they're older. You mentioned before that your relationship with him was abusive, correct? My son's father was verbally abusive and he punched a hole in the bedroom door once during an argument. My son had his last name, and last year when I was pregnant with my daughter, my son wanted to know why his sister wouldn't have the same last name and also why I was changing his. He also wanted to know why "Mr. Plummer" or his "dad" wasn't around. So I explained that he was mean to mommy and that he didn't want to be a dad, so he left. You also have to look at the well being of your children. You can't have the mindset that he'll only be abusive to you and not the kids. Violence only escalates. But, if he really does decide to be there for his kids, then I wouldn't tell them that he was mean to mommy. In that case, I would tell them something along the lines of you got a job and had to move there and daddy didn't want to come with you. -Shrugs.- Cross that bridge when you come to it and not a moment sooner.
Also, regardless of whether he SAYS he will pay for his children or not, file for child support. His family doesn't sound stable if his grandmother is just randomly attacking you while you're at work at their family restaurant. Unfortunately, some men (and their families) use children as pawns and pick and choose when they want to pay child support based on how you're getting along that month, not whether or not their child has needs to be taken care of. I'm currently waiting on my daughter's father to be served for child support because he uses our daughter as a pawn and feels that he can dictate what I do with my life to deserve his child support. He feels that he needs to approve of what I do before he'll help pay for her. You need to make sure your children are provided for and well taken care of. Even if that means moving to PA and filing for child support.