re: if I don't punish my kids..

Coming from a woman who trapped a guy for his money. You're a real winner eh?

Honestly, I highly recommend this book. It helps you define the parenting style you grew up with the parent you are now, and ways to become a better parent, if necessary (most people fall under brick wall, jellyfish, backbone - I know they sound ridiculous, but throughout the book it makes sense)

Quoting Momma x 2:" There is a HUGE difference between discipline and punishment. I don't punish my children, but they have been disciplined."

  

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ 30wks:" so is discipline and punishment different things?"

i didnt realize it either so i googled it and found this


Discipline teaches a child how to act. Discipline should make sense to a child. It should have something to do with what he has done wrong. Discipline helps a child feel good about himself. It gives him the chance to correct his mistakes. It puts him in charge of his actions.
Punishment only tells a child that she is bad. It does not tell a child what she should do instead. So punishment may not make sense to the child. Punishment usually has nothing to do with what the child did wrong.
Here are some examples of what a child can do wrong. Some types of punishment and discipline are given. Can you see how they are different?
Example 1: A three-year-old throws his crayons on the floor.
Punishment: Tell him he is a bad boy and slap his fingers.
Discipline: Tell him to pick up the crayons. Explain that they could get broken or mark up the floor. Put them out of the child's reach until the next day.
Example 2: A two-year-old empties a wastebasket.
Punishment: Spank him and send him to his room.
Discipline: Explain he may not play with the wastebasket. Give him something he may dump and fill.

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" Discipline is ineffective without consequences. Punishments are consequences. Definition of DISCIPLINE ... [snip!] ... or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c : self-control 6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity"

Punishments are parent enforced consequences. There are natural consequences to many behaviors/actions. Discipline can definitely be effective without punishment, I don't use punishment and our discipline techniques are very effective.

Quoting Momma x 2:" Honestly, I highly recommend this book. It helps you define the parenting style you grew up with the ... [snip!] ... people fall under brick wall, jellyfish, backbone - I know they sound ridiculous, but throughout the book it makes sense) "

I'm going to look for that, I haven't seen that one yet.  

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Punishments are parent enforced consequences. There are natural consequences to many behaviors/actions. ... [snip!] ... can definitely be effective without punishment, I don't use punishment and our discipline techniques are very effective. "

And for things that do not have natural consequences? How would you discipline your child who colors on the wall with marker? There is no natural consequence.

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" And for things that do not have natural consequences? How would you discipline your child who colors on the wall with marker? There is no natural consequence. "

My child would be cleaning it off of the wall. That's discipline. You make a mess, you clean it up. And of course we'd have a talk about where shes allowed to color and where she isn't, and respecting other people's property. Depending on the age of the child the action might tell me that they're not ready to have unsupervised access to markers so I may also put them in a spot where LO can't reach them and get them out when LO wants to color.

Quoting A❤T=P+[It's a Girl:" And for things that do not have natural consequences? How would you discipline your child who colors on the wall with marker? There is no natural consequence. "

The natural consequence would be that they would have to wash it off (older child) or help you clean it (younger child). You would also take that time to explain to them why they shouldn't colour on the walls, but on paper instead.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" My child would be cleaning it off of the wall. That's discipline. You make a mess, you clean it up. And ... [snip!] ... access to markers so I may also put them in a spot where LO can't reach them and get them out when LO wants to color."

Hahaha, good answer  

Quoting Virginia Bailey:" i didnt realize it either so i googled it and found this Discipline teaches a child how to act. Discipline ... [snip!] ... and send him to his room. Discipline: Explain he may not play with the wastebasket. Give him something he may dump and fill."

That makes sense..
i always thought discipline and punishing were 2 things..


what if a child steals something? what would be the natural consequence?

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ 30wks:" That makes sense.. i always thought discipline and punishing were 2 things.. what if a child steals something? what would be the natural consequence?"

They would have to bring it back and own up to it.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" My child would be cleaning it off of the wall. That's discipline. You make a mess, you clean it up. And ... [snip!] ... access to markers so I may also put them in a spot where LO can't reach them and get them out when LO wants to color."

Cleaning it off the wall would be considered punishment by most. The talking and explaining is the discipline.
*shrug.
The dictionary defines discipline as punishment.
Punishment does not have to a physical consequence. Most people associate punishment with hitting.

Quoting Mommy to 6 ღ 30wks:" That makes sense.. i always thought discipline and punishing were 2 things.. what if a child steals something? what would be the natural consequence?"

Make them take it back and either A)pay for it B) explain what they did to the manager
Then have a talk about why stealing is bad.

Quoting Momma x 2:" The natural consequence would be that they would have to wash it off (older child) or help you clean ... [snip!] ... (younger child). You would also take that time to explain to them why they shouldn't colour on the walls, but on paper instead."

not a natural consequence  
It's the parent enforcing it.