Friends cheating

So I have these two friends who recently split up, they were engaged, recently purchased a home together, but no children.

The female has been my friend for the past 8 years, the male only for the past 3-4 years. The female has cheated on the guy several times in the past 2 years, but has never admitted to it. She broke it off with her ex-fiance about 2 weeks ago, but before then had been talking to a guy who she's now staying with. The day the split she moved out of the house that her ex-fiance and her purchased and directly into the new guy's apartment.

Her ex-fiance and her just signed papers to get her name off of the house a few days ago and that's when she told her ex that she was staying with a guy friend, sleeping on the couch, and nothing has been going on. Well, her ex-fiance has done some digging and has found out the new guy's name, his place of employment, and a few minor details. He also claims that he knows my friend cheated on him 2 years ago, and he asked me to confirm, but I did not. I know the truth, I know all of the details about their current split and her past with cheating.

I told him that I understand he wants to know, but I'm not the person to ask. I also said that it isn't my place and I'm not protecting my female friend, it just doesn't involve me...I've only been a listening ear and I'm trying to remain neutral. So selfishly I stay quiet. I feel zero need to protect her, she's an adult and made these choices her self...it's just not my place to out her.

Now with that being said, I am trying to remain neutral. I'm really starting to dislike my female friend. It isn't just this, I do feel that her ex-fiance and her do not need to be together, but I feel like this is showing who she truly is.

She's cheated with a kid from our high school, that's when I told her that I think her fiance and her would be best apart, 2 years ago. Then there was her cousin's boyfriend who she cheated with practically in front of her cousin. She even wanted to run away with him, she felt she was a better fit for him than her cousin is, but nothing came of it. Now she's with this guy.

I know none of this really concerns me, but do I sound like a horrible friend for feeling like I don't like her anymore? I know she's unhappy and has been dealing with self-esteem issues lately, so I try to overlook it at all.

Advice?

No advice. You're already doing what you need to do by staying out of it.

weelllll.....if she treats her boyfriends like smurf, she probably treats her female friends the same way.

She's showing her true character, I don't it's wrong of you to dislike her.

<blockquote><b>Quoting 624582:</b>" So I have these two friends who recently split up, they were engaged, recently purchased a home together, ... [snip!] ... her anymore? I know she's unhappy and has been dealing with self-esteem issues lately, so I try to overlook it at all. Advice?"</blockquote>



Advise her to get some intense therapy and after that keep a distance

Quoting Gir!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 624582:</b>" So I have these two friends who recently split ... [snip!] ... to overlook it at all. Advice?"</blockquote> Advise her to get some intense therapy and after that keep a distance"

We've talked about therapy and she's agreed when she's down, but when she's "up" there is never any other word of it.

In response to the other replies..

She actually doesn't treat me like smurf or at least not that I am aware of. She's always been there for me and vice versa, I guess that's why I feel bad that I'm starting to dislike her.

I've got to admit you are handling this with a very mature attitude. You are doing good staying out of it. Sometimes, friends out grow each other, don't feel guilty if you really don't want to hang out with her anymore. Distance yourself and let it go.

Eek! Kind of reminds me of my situation. An old friend of mine has cheated on pretty much every boyfriend she was with, but she always painted them out to be douchebags anyways. Well, she was in this relationship for 2 1/2 years, and cheated multiple times. One time, towards the end of their relationship, we all went bowling and she brought a guy that she had cheated with before (her boyfriend found out about him). I guess she didn't want any postings on facebook or whatever because Adam (her boyfriend at the time) didn't even know she was going bowling. Well, I had brought my boyfriend, and we just sat there and watched her be all over this kid, and claim that Adam deserved it. Well, 2 weeks later they end up breaking up, and Adam was on facebook talking about how heartbroken he was. I asked him what happened and it turns out she had been lying to EVERYONE about whats been going on in their relationship. I thought of her as a completely different person after that, I mean, i'm your friend, why are you lying to me like it has anything to do with me? Well, my boyfriend ended up breaking up with me not to long after that, and me and Adam were talking because we were going through the same things, and we ended up becoming kind of close. I ended up telling him what she did. He didn't even get mad, he was relieved. Me and her are no longer friends, and in fact she's still lying (even to me) saying she never cheated, and that the dude just so happened to be there and so they innocently hungout. Pft, whatever.

It wasn't really my place to open my mouth, I realize that. But I don't regret it because now me and Adam are together, and he's the father of my baby. Haha. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I would just start slipping out of the big picture, honestly. Your friends can be a reflection on you. Obviously she has impulse control issues in the "romance" dept, but it is technically throwing you in the middle of it when you are getting questioned about her by an ex fiancé. Sounds like a hot mess!

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" I've got to admit you are handling this with a very mature attitude. You are doing good staying out of ... [snip!] ... out grow each other, don't feel guilty if you really don't want to hang out with her anymore. Distance yourself and let it go. "

I know, I just feel like poop.  

We hardly talk these days anyhow, but there has been an increase due to her new relationship. I believe she is trying to sell him to me by forcing him and I to talk. She often has him call me from her phone for her and talk to me in place of her, which I really don't understand. It feels very childish and I truly couldn't care less about this new guy. We live 1,400 miles apart so physical distance isn't an issue, lol.

Quoting Erica ☆★:" Eek! Kind of reminds me of my situation. An old friend of mine has cheated on pretty much every boyfriend ... [snip!] ... regret it because now me and Adam are together, and he's the father of my baby. Haha. Everything happens for a reason I guess. "

I know the truth about her past and the current, but she blames her ex-fiance for their split. He looks a porn and has asked random girls for tit pictures. It isn't something that I agree with nor am I saying that what he has done isn't disrespectful, but I feel that her lack of remorse for physically cheating on him several times has driven me to feel this way. Both his and her actions has lead me to give the advice that they're better split up than together because it clearly isn't working out.

Quoting Gir!:" I would just start slipping out of the big picture, honestly. Your friends can be a reflection on you. ... [snip!] ... technically throwing you in the middle of it when you are getting questioned about her by an ex fiancé. Sounds like a hot mess!"

It definitely is. Becoming guilty by association isn't a major concern of mine considering I keep very few people close to me and I'm confident that they know who I am despite smurffy actions of the other friends that I keep. But I do think I need to just ignore her calls and texts for a while, well both her and her ex's. I just feel crappy because I'm trying to be a good friend by hearing them out, but I'm sure it's for the better.