Divorced but remarried mamas

Okay so my friend is getting pretty serious with her navy boyfriend and there has been talk of marriage. She has a child from her previous marriage. Her ex hubby isn't happy about the fact that she would have to move to Mississippi, and then who knows where with their kid.

So main question, how would this play out in court? My friend is more stable, they share custody currently. If you were remarried to a military man how to you handle visitation and custody with your ex?

I've heard of this happening before, and the person I knew said they had 50/50 custody. as in, one gets the kid half the year, then the other gets the kid half the year, sounds horrible, and upsetting for the child : (

They'll most likely take the time he already has, and clump it up into "x amount of months" and the child will have to split their time with each parent.

I would talk to him and see if maybe 4 or 5 weeks in the summer for him would work and she keeps him the rest of the time(or even the whole summer).. Other wise it maybe that they share him half and half and that would suck for schooling.

Quoting E.P. Mom:" I've heard of this happening before, and the person I knew said they had 50/50 custody. as in, one gets ... [snip!] ... in, one gets the kid half the year, then the other gets the kid half the year, sounds horrible, and upsetting for the child : ("

 

Honestly, if that was the case, I wouldn't even get married into the military. My childs well being is number one.

I was the child in this case.

My dad got every other holiday. [but my mom let me go every holiday], and 6 weeks in the summer.

Quoting B♥Z:"   Honestly, if that was the case, I wouldn't even get married into the military. My childs well being is number one. "

It does sound horrible, but how much does this mother value her new "possible spouse"? If her and the father can work something out it might be ok, but if he wants to be a douche about it, it could really put a damper on her happiness.

The summer plan sounds best but if its anything else I personally couldn't do it. What if the she had full/sole custody?

Quoting E.P. Mom:" It does sound horrible, but how much does this mother value her new "possible spouse"? If her and the ... [snip!] ... can work something out it might be ok, but if he wants to be a douche about it, it could really put a damper on her happiness. "

I agree. If it were a situation like Yurvette said above, that would be workable since it's not 6 months here, 6 months there with different schools.

Quoting Mami Ana:" The summer plan sounds best but if its anything else I personally couldn't do it. What if the she had full/sole custody?"

This is just me assuming, but I would guess that the father would still have quite a say in the amount of time he gets, since it's the mother that is moving the child away. In any other case, you can't move out of state with a child if there isn't permission from the father.

Quoting E.P. Mom:" It does sound horrible, but how much does this mother value her new "possible spouse"? If her and the ... [snip!] ... can work something out it might be ok, but if he wants to be a douche about it, it could really put a damper on her happiness. "

You got to learn to think of the positives when you are a military spouse. Her child will get to see the world much more than other kids and have a connection to where his/her parents are from. Maybe it won't be split 6 month arrangements. Holidays and summer time wouldn't be so bad. If her ex deserves it.

My mom and dad had a court order and it was every other week end and holiday but they worked it out to where i stayed with him on some holidays or when he wanted me and i stayed for a few weeks in the summer he moved and it was more of a pain in the ass to do a week end because it was 6 hours there and back so they had to meet half way and it was 3 hours each way for them.

if the father wants to be a part of the childs life, and he's not an "unfit parent" by the court, they wont deny him. here, you have to have permission from the other parent to even move across the state (or i think that's how it is, i'm not 100%)

I'm not divorced, but had a child when I married my active duty Army husband. Our daughter spends the school years w/Me & the summers with her Dad. We also alternate major holidays. He also has 1st dibs on Spring Break. We handled this out of court and it has worked well for our Daughter, for the last 10 years!

Quoting .chele.:" I'm not divorced, but had a child when I married my active duty Army husband. Our daughter spends the ... [snip!] ... also has 1st dibs on Spring Break. We handled this out of court and it has worked well for our Daughter, for the last 10 years!"

that sounds like a reasonable arrangement. so you don't have to pull the child out of school. OP, i'd see if your friend could talk to her ex about him having the child all summer. and see what he says. that way you don't have to pull the child out of school...