<blockquote><b>Quoting alli marie ♥:</b>" I never really looked at it that way. My babys daddy dumped me the day after I told him I am pregnant. ... [snip!] ... abortion, or gave the baby up for adoption, he'd get back together with me. I didn't take him up on his offer. I just yelled. "</blockquote>
Wtf?!?!

Quoting nooch:" thank you, i didn't know how the correct way to word my response but you took it out of my fingertips. ... [snip!] ... go after him since i am on daycare program called families first but they couldn't get in contact with him and he isn't on bc "

I didn't want to give them BD's name, because I didn't want him to have rights to my daughter, but I felt obligated. I knew if I lied and said I didn't know who he was I would regret it, so we had to do the whole DNA test thing. I'm glad, she loves her dad, but she sees more of his back than she does anything, and I'm left picking up the pieces every time he lives stuck listening to her cry dada for days because she doesn't understand why he's not here. I strongly believe BD is bipolar, but he refuses to take medications. I HAVE to take medications, or I'm not okay. I can't function properly. I'm sure if he has those issues, and he's been gone that long he's probably too scared to call you. Granted, I don't know him, or you, or the situation. If you feel like you should call him, and you know you want him around her, then call. It can't hurt to try. Just prepare yourself for him to not want to talk or not want to be involved. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

Quoting  LiveLove2012(::" What is dhs? And if you have him home number, can't you give them that to get a hold of him? He doesn't need to sign the bc, he just needs to submit to a DNA test, which can be court ordered."

i don't care about child support, i just want him to be in his daughter's life.

they can't get ahold of him, i guess he wont talk to them, idk but there is nothing dhs can do anymore

Quoting Laneys*Mama:" I don't think she said HE was using his mental illness as an excuse. She said that's why SHE feels he hasn't been there.   Not everything is about child support where children are concerned. "

I know not everything is about child support. I grew up without a father. My mom didn't see a penny out of him until I was 16 years old. She struggled every day of her life to help support me. The least that dead be jackass could have done was help support me, even if he didn't want to be there.
If you re-read my post to her, you will see that the first thing I told her is that she is making excuses for him. Then I implied that he has used this as an excuse, which is probably the reason she uses it as an excuse for him. I might be assuming, but it's logical.

Quoting Laneys*Mama:" I didn't want to give them BD's name, because I didn't want him to have rights to my daughter, but ... [snip!] ... to try. Just prepare yourself for him to not want to talk or not want to be involved. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best."

i felt the same way you do, i didn't want to give them his name but i didn't want to mess up my families first because i can not afford daycare.

thank you for the advice, it really has helped me, i just gotta do a lot of thinking.

Quoting  LiveLove2012(::" I know not everything is about child support. I grew up without a father. My mom didn't see a penny ... [snip!] ... used this as an excuse, which is probably the reason she uses it as an excuse for him. I might be assuming, but it's logical."

It's not at all logical. That would be like my baby's dad saying I'm an unfit mother because I'm bi-polar and I've had to be hospitalized for my depression before. Might sound like a good assumption, but you know what they say. When you make an ASSumption....
I have mood disorders, I don't use it as an excuse. Other people might justify it as why I do things that I do, and they're probably right. Doesn't mean I use it as an excuse, or that anyone else is making excuses for me. That's just how it is.
You're taking this entirely too personal because of your experience with your dad. Her BD is not YOUR dad, he's not the same person, it's not the same scenario. She doesn't want his money, she wants her child to have a father.

Quoting nooch:" i felt the same way you do, i didn't want to give them his name but i didn't want to mess up my families ... [snip!] ... because i can not afford daycare. thank you for the advice, it really has helped me, i just gotta do a lot of thinking. "

I was too afraid to lie and then them find out that I knew who he was and me get in trouble for fraud or something, because I did receive a check while I was on maternity leave and I do get food stamps and assistance with my housing. We both get medical cards, so they weren't just going to let it go.
I told them his name and a phone number, they called him, we had to do a dna test, and then they set up the child support hearing. They did that, but it didn't affect visitation or custody at all. He has to hire a lawyer and take me back to court to get his rights, because in Ohio, child support and visitation are two completely separate issues. I'm not sure how it works there though.

Quoting Laneys*Mama:" It's not at all logical. That would be like my baby's dad saying I'm an unfit mother because I'm bi-polar ... [snip!] ... dad, he's not the same person, it's not the same scenario. She doesn't want his money, she wants her child to have a father."

She asked an opinion. I gave it to her. You don't like it, too bad. You know what they say about opinions, they are like smurfs. I also didn't see that she wanted him in her daughters life until after my last post.

Quoting  LiveLove2012(::" She asked an opinion. I gave it to her. You don't like it, too bad. You know what they say about opinions, ... [snip!] ... about opinions, they are like smurfs. I also didn't see that she wanted him in her daughters life until after my last post."

At which point you made 2 more posts about child support when she already stated that wasn't what she was after.

Quoting Laneys*Mama:" I was too afraid to lie and then them find out that I knew who he was and me get in trouble for fraud ... [snip!] ... because in Ohio, child support and visitation are two completely separate issues. I'm not sure how it works there though."

same here. was he willing to do a dna test?

Quoting nooch:" same here. was he willing to do a dna test? "

Yes, because he was convinced that she wasn't his.
99.99999% later.....  

Quoting Laneys*Mama:" Yes, because he was convinced that she wasn't his. 99.99999% later.....  "

there is no denying that she is his, his sister was like "that is my brothers baby, they look just alike"

Quoting nooch:" there is no denying that she is his, his sister was like "that is my brothers baby, they look just alike" "

Everyone told BD that too. He wasn't convinced. Even now, looking back at her baby pictures, he comments on how much she is identical to his youngest son. He's a jackass.