What helps?

What helps YOU get past the fear in the next pregnancy?

I've had 6 losses, so there's no date in pregnancy that i relax once I pass it (besides maybe the point of viability at 24 weeks...but even then probably not til 30 when baby has a better chance of surviving without medical complications)

A heartbeat doesn't comfort me. I've lost after those.

A good growth scan/ultrasound doesn't comfort me. I've lost after those.

Kicks don't comfort me TOO much---I've lost after those, but it wasn't a miscarriage, it was an incompetent cervix, so MAYBE that will comfort me since THIS TIME I'll have progesterone injections and a cerclage to strengthen my cervix to keep baby baking.

There are no milestones that give me comfort as I know you can lose a baby at ANY point in pregnancy, including delivery.

So, tell me what things YOU DO that help to calm your fears, especially in those first few weeks of a new pregnancy when you're waiting for your first appointment.

Honestly, nothing. Until baby is born and in my arms there's a chance something would go wrong. My friend lost her baby at 41 weeks while in the hospital in labor. She had no complications or problems, the baby went into destress and they weren't fetal monitoring. The thing that helps me the most is my faith and prayer. I leave it all in God's hands, that is honestly what helps me get through my fears. I'm sorry for your losses.

I'm so sorry for your losses hun. I've had 2 miscarriages but both were around 6 weeks. My first miscarriage was before i got pregnant with my son, so when i was pregnant with him i was soooo worried i never felt comforted. I went to L&D so many times they knew me by name i also rented a doppler. I just tried to stay positive during those first few weeks and then when i had an u/s at 8 weeks it helped but i was still worried cause you hear of those stories of people losing their baby at 12,16 and almost every week that you think would be the "safe zone" When i got further along i just wanted him out already cause you hear of stillbirths and such and i was just so freaked out..I really just tried to remain positive during the whole thing but the whole pregnancy was nerve racking..Again im so sorry for your losses hun just try your hardest to think positive

Quoting #3 is on the way!:" Honestly, nothing. Until baby is born and in my arms there's a chance something would go wrong. My friend ... [snip!] ... and prayer. I leave it all in God's hands, that is honestly what helps me get through my fears. I'm sorry for your losses."

Putting it all in God's hands would help enormously if I'd never done that before.

I have faith in God and that he CAN intervene and fix anything---just not that he does it for ME. I just don't expect a miracle because I've prayed for one 1000 times and always lost the baby somehow (except my 1DS---and I did have some scary scary moments with him, but nothing that really put him at risk).

I guess its hard to pray for a miracle when I've been let down so many times.

<blockquote><b>Quoting P Pickle Pants:</b>" Putting it all in God's hands would help enormously if I'd never done that before. I have faith in ... [snip!] ... him, but nothing that really put him at risk). I guess its hard to pray for a miracle when I've been let down so many times."</blockquote>




Do you have an underlying issue like low progesterone or blood clotting or are you a carrier of a specific gene that causes the Mc's?

Quoting #3 is on the way!:" <blockquote><b>Quoting P Pickle Pants:</b>" Putting it all in God's hands would help ... [snip!] ... have an underlying issue like low progesterone or blood clotting or are you a carrier of a specific gene that causes the Mc's?"

They've run every test in the book---I'm 100% normal. They have NO clue what's wrong with me. However, until this pregnancy I'd only ever had ONE total progesterone draw, so they can't rule it out fully. My level was 22.4 at 6 weeks even with my last pregnancy (no supplements). This pregnancy (with supplements), my levels were 40.2 at 3w2d.

They're treating me with progesterone and baby aspirin (and a butt load of vitamins and dietary changes, etc), just in case.

<blockquote><b>Quoting P Pickle Pants:</b>" They've run every test in the book---I'm 100% normal. They have NO clue what's wrong with me. However, ... [snip!] ... They're treating me with progesterone and baby aspirin (and a butt load of vitamins and dietary changes, etc), just in case."</blockquote>



Baby aspirin? But you don't have blood clotting issues? That's interesting. Have you ever had your insulin levels checked before? I really hope this is a healthy and uneventful pregnancy for you.

the only thing that helped me was crocheting for hours, weeks, & months on end. my last daughter had over 30 pairs of booties, some sweaters, 5 blankets, some hats & other stuff. this one iv had the same fears, so i have made a gallery of blankets & other crafts. its like with every project im that much further along when im done. its something to past time & zone out for a bit i guess.

<blockquote><b>Quoting #3 is on the way!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting P Pickle Pants:</b>" They've run every test in the book---I'm ... [snip!] ... Have you ever had your insulin levels checked before? I really hope this is a healthy and uneventful pregnancy for you."</blockquote>



Insulin and thyroid are perfect too.

<blockquote><b>Quoting slayera:</b>" the only thing that helped me was crocheting for hours, weeks, & months on end. my last daughter ... [snip!] ... like with every project im that much further along when im done. its something to past time & zone out for a bit i guess."</blockquote>

I can't handle the crafts. So many projects for a baby that never came :/

I recommend on a fetal heart Doppler thats helped me calm down a little this pregnancy ill be 31weeks tomorrow and still fear anxious that something is going to happen or ill go into preterm labor again. Being able to listen to the heartbeat any time i wanted when i wanted helped lot. When you go to dr appt next asking again about what the next appt will consist of has helped me too so i know whats happening

<blockquote><b>Quoting Trace1886:</b>" I recommend on a fetal heart Doppler thats helped me calm down a little this pregnancy ill be 31weeks ... [snip!] ... When you go to dr appt next asking again about what the next appt will consist of has helped me too so i know whats happening"</blockquote>

I have a Doppler. It's too early for it.

I always ask lots of questions. Like whole lidts.
My docs either love me or hate me because of it.

They should love your questions. I do the same thing. Thankfully my obgyn knows how i am and is prepared to answer them.

I wish there was some kind of advice I could give, but I'm still trying to figure out a way to get past the fear, or calm it in some way   every little pain I feel I go crazy thinking something could be wrong, any little ounce of discharge and I'm convinced that it has to be it, I'm getting close to the end. I feel like I am making myself crazy, it's so intense everytime I go to the bathroom I hold my breath until I wipe and see its clear.   .... Might I add though I have horrible anxiety issues lol

<blockquote><b>Quoting mommommommyma:</b>" I wish there was some kind of advice I could give, but I'm still trying to figure out a way to get past ... [snip!] ... to the bathroom I hold my breath until I wipe and see its clear.   .... Might I add though I have horrible anxiety issues lol"</blockquote>


I do the same and (other than pregnancy) I have ZERO anxiety issues.

I only wear light colored undies with NO pink/red on them, wipe with lights on even at 2am, don't lift ANYTHING heavier than milk if Incan avoid it, and take a dozen pills a day to stay pregnant...

Yup, not much to calm me. Losses have definitely driven me NUTS!