re: What helps?

Quoting P Pickle Pants:" Putting it all in God's hands would help enormously if I'd never done that before. I have faith in ... [snip!] ... him, but nothing that really put him at risk). I guess its hard to pray for a miracle when I've been let down so many times."

Hugs.  

My DH and I were JUST talking about this today. I think that God has the ability to intervene, but it's not something He does for everyone. For what reason, I don't know. I don't have any advice for you, because I will probably be a ball of nerves if I ever get pregnant again, but I really, truly hope things are different this time around.

I'm going to list off what I did with my various pregnancies. It might or might not help. I think what helps most is time. You do what you have to do to get through everything.
When i was in the hospital for a while with my first baby, I had a calendar where i crossed off every day. During my 2nd pregnancy I set up a calendar, I set goals for myself like the end of the 1st trimester, cerclage placement, 24 weeks, 28 weeks. (we always celebrated 28 weeks with a special dinner or something like that), then cerclage removal.


3rd pregnancy was an early miscarriage. No time to really do anything except get a few positive tests.

I've personally tried the crafts too, but i could never focus long enough. With my 4th pregnancy (my 2 year old), I made a scrap book of the pregnancy. I decided that it was better to have the memories documented in some way whether or not the baby made it. I did the calendar thing again and put that in the scrap book too.

My 5th pregnancy was pretty messed up too (vanishing twin, dilation at 12 weeks, Pprom, placental abruption, and 10lb baby who ended up in the NICU for a bit) so i regressed a lot and went back to huddling in bed and keeping my fingers crossed that everything stayed where it was suppose to.

I know it seems like a really long road right now, but you can do it. One day at a time and all of that.

As far as god goes ... i deliver at a catholic hospital because it has a higher level NICU. I've chased the chaplins out of my hospital room before. Me and god have a rocky relationship.

ive also had 6 miscarriages as well, and at that point u know there is nothing you can do yourself to stop a miscarriage, if it gonna happen it will i know that sounds negative but i think that is what helped me pretending it wasn't happening i was so mad with every thing pregnancy related that i couldn't allow myself to be excited just take 1 day at a time luckily ive just had a baby but i didn't relax until he was here i still checked for blood the day i went into labor x

I know how you feel i lost my 6 day old daughter last week she was born at 38 weeks with no issues other than jaundice and she just didn't u wake up one morning it is the worst pain anyone can feel.