I may have aborted..

I had a pregnancy scare a few months back. It was my fault, and I felt like smurf for it.. I should've been using protection. Anyway, I have a 3 year old, and a 7 month old, there was no way possible that I could've taken care of a baby, emotionally or financially. I decided that if I was pregnant, I was going to abort. This was about two months ago, and I have since had my period, and been put on birth control, because I don't want to ever be in that situation again. The point of this post though, is that my BD has given me smurf ever since I told him what I was going to do. He hates the fact that I'm pro-choice. He completely raked me over the coals, and continues to do so, even though I didn't abort. He says "I don't care if other women get abortions, but NO ONE is aborting my kid" He tells me that I would've "murdered" his "baby". He thinks he's in control of my body, and that irritates me to no end. Even though I didn't abort, because I wasn't pregnant, do you all think that I still have a right to be extremely pissed off over the crap he said?

He has a right to be upset, but you have a right to be pissed off at him for it... I would have assumed he'd take full responsibility of a kid you didn't want?

I think it's pointless for the two of you to fight over something that didn't happen. If the situation ever comes up again, then you'll have to face it head on. But for now, there's no use getting worked up about what might have happened, because it didn't.

Well, the fact is that you would have killed his baby (or potential baby, depending on how you see it) and he has a right to be upset, but that doesn't negate the fact that it is your right to choose what you intend to do with that baby while it lives in your body.

While it IS your body and your choice, i don't think its wrong of him to be upset. It would have been his child too. And i honestly think him being so upset isn't a bad thing. IMO, it means he would have stood up and raised said child.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" While it IS your body and your choice, i don't think its wrong of him to be upset. It would have been ... [snip!] ... too. And i honestly think him being so upset isn't a bad thing. IMO, it means he would have stood up and raised said child."

But it didn't happen, so what's the point in dwelling on it?

I don't think it's fair to not take his feelings into consideration. It takes two people to make a child. But he also needs I be repainsible do his own body as well such as using protection if he doesn't want a baby nor an abortion.

Quoting Vincent&Me (Laura):" But it didn't happen, so what's the point in dwelling on it?"

There isnt one. I'm merely sharing my opinion.

Quoting Vincent&Me (Laura):" I think it's pointless for the two of you to fight over something that didn't happen. If the situation ... [snip!] ... have to face it head on. But for now, there's no use getting worked up about what might have happened, because it didn't."

Agreed.

It's a grey area. WHile he has every right to be upset, you have every right to terminate a pregnancy should you wish to.

BUT... There was no pregnancy so it's only going to cause your relationship damage to dwell on it.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" While it IS your body and your choice, i don't think its wrong of him to be upset. It would have been ... [snip!] ... too. And i honestly think him being so upset isn't a bad thing. IMO, it means he would have stood up and raised said child."

Not really. Lots of men bitch, it doesn't mean he would have done anything about supporting the kid.

Quoting Vincent&Me (Laura):" But it didn't happen, so what's the point in dwelling on it?"

Am I wrong in reading that she wanted opinions about her right to feel a certain way vs. his right to feel a certain over a hypothetical situation?

Yes, he has a right to think that. He doesn't really have a right to insult you though, and that's where the line is drawn IMO. And he has no right to tell you what to do with your body, but he can have an opinion about it.

It didn't happen, so I'd try to leave it be. It's an argument that just doesn't need to happen at that point.

Quoting Brittany Riot [WAL]:" I had a pregnancy scare a few months back. It was my fault, and I felt like smurf for it.. I should've ... [snip!] ... abort, because I wasn't pregnant, do you all think that I still have a right to be extremely pissed off over the crap he said?"

This is a tough one. First let me say I dont belive in abortions, or agree with them, but I am not trying to judge you at all. That being said, honestly I think the father should have some say in wether or not the child gets aborted. If they want the baby, and are willing to take care of the baby on their own then they should be able to. From what it sounds like to me, that is not your situation. Although I feel he still should have a say in it, or if you couldn't come to terms, adoption is always a good option, he has no right to talk down to you or degrade you in anyways, especially because that isnt what happened anyways. Sorry if that is a bit confusing, but since abortion is a touchy subject, I try to state my opinion with out offending anyone lol.

Quoting she nan igans:" Not really. Lots of men bitch, it doesn't mean he would have done anything about supporting the kid."

While i'm sure that can occasionally be the case, its hard for me to fathom that a man that would get SO upset over his child being aborted, would not take care of it. But thats just me.