re: My finacee and father of my baby might be going to rehab

Quoting Jamiee Flathers:" Okay then i will do one thing grown up and delete this smurf because honestly all i wanted was smurfing ... [snip!] ... excuse me everyone for doing what little research i was able to really quick about klonopin and being to stupid to know smurf."

Sorry you cant delete anything. Except what you wrote.

Quoting Jamiee Flathers:" im not saying he hasn't made anymistakes i know he isn't perfect at all and no i didn't think i was going to come on here he get smurf the police. im NOT stupid for all you who think i am"

Yeah... ok.

Quoting NicoThunders:" Your posts give off a much different impression."

I agree...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jamiee Flathers:</b>" yes he doesn't like to show his emotions a lot and its very rare when he does but i told him when he ... [snip!] ... go and repeat everything else to someone well he feels really uncomfortable about it private message me and i will tell you why"</blockquote>



I totally understand that. If yu go somewhere through court they're already going to have preconceived notions of "who you are". You need to go somehwere that will actually focus on what he wants to focus on, not what THEY think is important. Somewhere unbiased.

Maybe you could make an appointment for both of you, that way he wouldn't feel like the spotlight was all on him and then he could show his probation officer that he is seeking help?


I really still think the best thing right now is for him to just go along with whatever the probation officer says, he can get through a few counseling sessions by just BSing etc etc. Then he can get done with probation, done with rehab, done with curt for good. The longer he goes against what his probation officer says, the longer this is all going to drag out.
And like some of the other girls said, its her job to be tough on him and most of the kids she comes across really are lying drug addict criminals so it makes sense for her to not believe him. Also, benzos are extremly addictive so her trying to get him to rehab seems to me like deep down she's doing her job well and just trying to help him.

Look I don't think you're stupid I just think you are young and in love with him and because of that you aren't seeing the big picture. I think trying to fight the probation officer is going to work against you, because the judge is MUCH more likely to side with her then with any of you unfortunately.

That being said I am not calling you a co-dependent as an insult. I'm being serious about looking it up, there are really great free online resources that will teach you about it and I PROMISE you that you will say "Wow.. that is so me!". My Dad went to a detox/rehab and my Mom sisters and I all saw counsellors through the rehab center (even though he STILL thinks he doesnt have a problem) and it was SUCH a huge help to us! Maybe if you offer to go see someone he will feel a lot better about it. And I promise you that the people there do NOT judge you, its literally their job to help people like you guys every single day and they really can be great caring people. A counselor can even be called into court to help you out and give a good rapport so don't rule out the idea.

It may seem like you're being attacked but honey THIS IS SUPPORT. You don't see it right now, but it is. This is the advice you NEED not the unhelpful "don't worry girl everything is just fine" that you are looking for. You might think I'm being an smurf but I actually have A LOT of experience helping my family and other people get through things like this and if you want to get actual advice and talk to someone you can message me. But I won't give you sugar coated advice I will tell you the truth, straight up.