Fighting in a relationship?

How terrible is it to say and think of ending a relationship every time you get into a fight/disagreement? Both people say and think this.

Should the relationship end?

Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment, but if they kept saying it then I would leave.

Sometimes when me and my husband get into fights, we say that our marriage needs to just end up in a divorce but then when we split up or think about splitting up, things change.

ETA: no, it's not very healthy for our marriage but we've finally both decided on marriage counseling. We haven't been to our first session yet but I'm hoping that changes things.

Nah. I've been with my husband for almost 7 years and when we get into bad fights (not normal bickering or arguments) and I think sometimes that I never wanna see him again or what if we weren't together...smurf like that...then 10 minutes later i'm over it.

I say...if you TRULY want to end a relationship - break up when you're not angry at each other. When me and my husband aren't angry at each other or anything, we're happy and want to be together forever and all that good stuff...if two people don't feel that way when all is calm and no one is fighting....THEN that's grounds for breaking up I think.....Relationships are hard and they take a lot of work. It's not easy, but totally worth it with the right person.  

Words hurt. Things like that shouldn't be said. If it is ongoing, the couple needs to get counseling to learn a more effective way to communicate.

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Words hurt. Things like that shouldn't be said. If it is ongoing, the couple needs to get counseling to learn a more effective way to communicate. "

I could not agree more.

We used to say things like that in arguments but then we both talked about it and we don't want to leave each other and agreed we wouldn't say that anymore because it was hurtful and we haven't since.its been over a year since we have said anything like that to each other we have been together 9 years.

Quoting *frisky2times*:" We used to say things like that in arguments but then we both talked about it and we don't want to leave ... [snip!] ... and we haven't since.its been over a year since we have said anything like that to each other we have been together 9 years."

We've talked about it before when we're both happy with each other. It hasn't helped. We went to counseling once and we haven't been back. I'd like to go, but it's just not possible right now. Part of me just doesn't even want to put the effort into our relationship anymore.

I would consider counseling, that isn't a healthy thing. Or leaving.

Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" We've talked about it before when we're both happy with each other. It hasn't helped. We went to counseling ... [snip!] ... go, but it's just not possible right now. Part of me just doesn't even want to put the effort into our relationship anymore. "

If only part of you doesn't want to put the effort into your relationship, I'd try working on that and figuring out why you aren't willing to put the effort into making your relationship better. If you decide to leave, make sure you're 100 percent sure that you're done. Why don't you want to go back to counseling? Did it not help?

Quoting I♥MyTots:" If only part of you doesn't want to put the effort into your relationship, I'd try working on that and ... [snip!] ... to leave, make sure you're 100 percent sure that you're done. Why don't you want to go back to counseling? Did it not help?"

I'd love to go back. I felt better after one session. We just don't have the time to go   And we always are scrambling to find a sitter. And I'm always the one who makes all the arrangements for it (scheduling an appt, finding a sitter, getting us out the door on time, arranging the money for the counselor and sitter, etc.). Just stress I can't handle (I have PPD and I think I'm bipolar - stress triggers a lot for me).

Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I'd love to go back. I felt better after one session. We just don't have the time to go   And we always ... [snip!] ... counselor and sitter, etc.). Just stress I can't handle (I have PPD and I think I'm bipolar - stress triggers a lot for me)."

 

could your kid(s) with you?

Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:" I'd love to go back. I felt better after one session. We just don't have the time to go   And we always ... [snip!] ... counselor and sitter, etc.). Just stress I can't handle (I have PPD and I think I'm bipolar - stress triggers a lot for me)."

and are you on any meds for your depression and bipolar?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of Broccoli.:</b>" We've talked about it before when we're both happy with each other. It hasn't helped. We went to counseling ... [snip!] ... go, but it's just not possible right now. Part of me just doesn't even want to put the effort into our relationship anymore. "</blockquote>

Have you thought about getting a book? Me and my so went to Barnes and noble together and picked a relationship book together and read it together it made a huge difference and my so is an extremely stubborn man, doesn't change for nothing but reading something Fromm someone elses view helped both me and him see things in a different way, those books seem cheesy but if you take them seriously and give it a chance they really do help.

Quoting I♥MyTots:" and are you on any meds for your depression and bipolar?"

No, LO can't come   They're like 2 hour sessions. And yes, I'm on depression meds. I'm in the middle of finding a new doctor and hope to get on bipolar meds soon.