Quoting bearcavefactory:" I'ma waitress. I make around $250-350 every 2 weeks. He makes about $100 more. I know it would be tight, ... [snip!] ... I know it would be tight, but most people are... I plan to breast feed and have already started saving up and buying furniture."

That isn't a lot of money AT ALL.

I would honestly go to college/trade school (both of you) and wait. Children are very expensive, and waitressing isn't a steady job.

Quoting Peytin:" 'll just say this. I was engaged when I was 18/19 and i had been with him for 2.5 years. He was in the ... [snip!] ... you started dating at 15. You might find once you live together long enough, that you cant stand each other. Trust me. WAIT."

Great post!

You what to know where I was for my twenty-first birthday? In London, England, just after the Olympics, enjoying the Windsor Castle. I couldn't have traveled Europe if I had a baby so young!

Seriously, even just waiting five years could make a big difference in terms of the quality life you give to your child!

Quoting bearcavefactory:" All my friends my age have kids already. Difference is: I waited til I was done with high school. I know ... [snip!] ... FINANCES! I get it. Every time I have extra money I save half of it and go buy baby furniture or clothes or whatever else."

High school doesn't mean smurf in this economy. Most high paying jobs require a four-year degree or trade school.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bearcavefactory:</b>" All my friends my age have kids already. Difference is: I waited til I was done with high school. I know ... [snip!] ... FINANCES! I get it. Every time I have extra money I save half of it and go buy baby furniture or clothes or whatever else."</blockquote>




Then have a baby. No one can stop you. But we can tell you what it's like to be in that situation. & it isn't anything like 16 & pregnant! I lost all of my friends, some family, & didn't get to finish college. My husband is our only source of income. It's hard! We don't EVER go out to do anything. 1. We never have the money & 2. We always have a baby! It puts a strain on our relationship; well, at first it did. We went through marriage counseling & worked our problems out. But regardless how stable you think your relationship is or life in general, it's gonna flip upside down when a baby is in the picture- I promise! So long as you can handle losing EVERY one & EVERY thing then go for it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting bearcavefactory:</b>" All my friends my age have kids already. Difference is: I waited til I was done with high school. I know ... [snip!] ... FINANCES! I get it. Every time I have extra money I save half of it and go buy baby furniture or cloth
es or whatever else."</blockquote>


Well it seems like you already have your mind set on what you want to do so what was the point of asking us in the first place?

I just wanted to see what people who knew nothing about me thought.

I know a lot of people voted "no" on this poll - I voted yes. Ya' know why? Because you seem like a very switched on, bright, strong young woman. Whom, obviously, wants a baby. And there is nothing wrong with wanting a baby at 19, 18, or even 16. I'm 16 and 28 weeks pregnant and whilst most people say I'm too young, immature and will be a pathetic mother, I don't listen to those naive people.
Age does not define your parenting ability - remember that.
Goodluck for whatever you chose.

<blockquote><b>Quoting April + Rydenn:</b>" I know a lot of people voted "no" on this poll - I voted yes. Ya' know why? Because you seem like a very ... [snip!] ... listen to those naive people. Age does not define your parenting ability - remember that. Goodluck for whatever you chose."</blockquote>




Youre right. Age doesnt define a good mom. BUT if you dont have the income to support a baby-you shouldnt be having one. You shouldnt intentionally plan a pregnancy, knowing you dont have the money to support it. Bc then you are going to go on welfare. And all this other govt assistance we have. Which is great for the people who really need it. For a short amount of time. But KNOWING you more than likely will go on welfare or some type of assistance bc you DONT have the income is very immature.

Besides-no one was tellin her she would be a bad mom. Just letting her know that she thinks she has the finances-but she really doesnt.

OP-how were you plannin on paying hospital bills? Insurance for your baby? Were you PLANNING on getting on govt assistance just so you can afford to have a baby??

My hospital bills were around $10k...

<blockquote><b>Quoting April + Rydenn:</b>" I know a lot of people voted "no" on this poll - I voted yes. Ya' know why? Because you seem like a very ... [snip!] ... listen to those naive people. Age does not define your parenting ability - remember that. Goodluck for whatever you chose."</blockquote>

Ha, naive? Well most of us that voted "no" is most likely because we've been there and done that. You still don't know what it's like to have a baby so young because you're still pregnant. Do you have a career? Your own house? A car? Savings? All of things are needed to "define your parenting ability."

Trust me, I'm 18 with two and although they weren't planned it isn't a walk in the park.

Quoting bearcavefactory:" I just wanted to see what people who knew nothing about me thought."

Age doesnt define a person as a mother but it MOST CERTAINLY defines how much you can financially support a family. Oh and by the way, just because "all your friends have kids" already doesnt mean YOU HAVE TO! All of my friends have kids already. Most of them started in high school. But I get the PRIVILEGE of helping them with their kids, then giving them back when they get cranky or sick or whiney. AND I dont have to spend any money on their kids, yet I still get to enjoy taking care of them.

Why dont you ask one of your friends to let you "borrow" their child for an entire week. YOU pay for all the diapers. All the formula or food. You loose countless hours of sleep. You get frustrated when they just wont stop crying for no reason. You pick up after their toys. Its not easy.

Just for the love of everything holy, WAIT TO HAVE KIDS!!!! You dont NEED a baby, you WANT a baby. There is a huge difference between need and want. Here, I'll show you.

.
need: a requirement, necessary duty, or obligation

want to feel a need or a desire for; wish for; to wish,
need, crave, demand, or desire
you want a baby. you dont NEED a baby. What you need a damn education because you're not going to get anywhere on the salary you two are making, nor will you ever find a well paying job with only a high school education. My fiance has TWO bachelor degrees in finance and JUST got a great job working for Morgan Stanley (a huge financial company nationwide. Their head quarters are in NY). He is 27. Nearly 8-9 years older than you and JUST got a job in his field making money. Think about it. Can you raise a child for the next 8 years on that salary? Nope. Because they get older. They eat more. They grow like weeds and need new clothes.

If not for your sake, do it for your future children's sakes and WAIT until your life is more stable mentally and financially. Don't ruin the best time of your life by wanting to be a young mother.

My opinion would TOTALLY be different btw is you had completed college already and had a better job.

My friend completed college by 19 and is now 21. She has 3 kids and is expecting #4. She and her husband are financially sound to care for their kids and have made a great life. But all because she has that DEGREE.

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse -__-

<blockquote><b>Quoting Watagatapitusberry.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting April + Rydenn:</b>" I know a lot of people voted "no" on this ... [snip!] ... to "define your parenting ability." Trust me, I'm 18 with two and although they weren't planned it isn't a walk in the park."</blockquote>



Its funny how its so easy when youre still pregnant. And you just dont know wht youre in for until baby gets here. I got pregnant at 16. I knew itd be hard, never once thought itd be easy. BUT i didnt realize HOW HARD. I got a slap in the face. Then of course i got pregnant again. And another slap in the face. And while ive always loved my kids more than anything-i wasnt in the right, mature, mentality for some time. It wasnt until this past yr that i actually started growing up more. And i think part of that has to do with me not surrounding myself with certain people anymore. And i met my DH-who is 8 yrs older than me. And he really has helped me mature. But im still smurf broke and can barely afford the things they need. I mean, we get by, but theres nothing left for us.

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Watagatapitusberry.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... mature. But im still smurf broke and can barely afford the things they need. I mean, we get by, but theres nothing left for us."</blockquote>

Exxxxactly.
I just went to a quince yesterday and I couldn't stop lookin at the girls thinking about how I wish I could go back and enjoy my high school years and go to college and be able to go out when I wanted to.

But I know nothing can change it now so I just have to work my hardest to get somewhere in life so my kids can have a great life.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Watagatapitusberry.:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... I know nothing can change it now so I just have to work my hardest to get somewhere in life so my kids can have a great life."</blockquote>



Yeah i feel like that sometimes. Most of the time i just wish i had finished school, or close to finishing school first. Its so hard going to college, working FT, and being a mommy FT...

In one of your earlier posts, you mentioned that your boyfriend is studying to be a lawyer. What does that mean? Is he actually in law school? Or is he in pre-law at a four year university? How old is he? How is he going to pay for law school? There aren't many full scholarships out there, so you can expect to rack up $50,000 - $100,000 of student loan debt. And getting hired after law school is not a guaranteed thing, but that debt will still be due.

I went through law school. It is a miserable experience. Three years of studying and stressing and reading until your eyes cross. Even if you are on vacation, you felt guilty because you aren't studying. I watched many couples break up during law school, because the spouse hated being abandoned for weeks at a time. Imagine how it will be raising a child alone while your boyfriend is off in a cheap motel for two weeks to prep for finals...for 3 or 4 years.

I know you want to be a mother, but you don't have to do it NOW. Make a list of things you want to do before you have a child. Get a passport. Go to a foreign county. Do a road trip to California for the heck of it. Camp in 5 different national parks. Make an effort to become a full, experienced human being so that you have all the more to offer your child.

Quoting *Amo a Mis Nenas*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting April + Rydenn:</b>" I know a lot of people voted "no" on this ... [snip!] ... Were you PLANNING on getting on govt assistance just so you can afford to have a baby?? My hospital bills were around $10k..."

Holy Smu*f!!
I live in Canada so we dont pay for hospital stuff and so on. I know you have to in USA but had NO idea it was $10000 to have a baby! Wow!
Also I agree with 100% of what you said lol and now after seeing that its like $10000 in hospital bills alone, i really think OP should wait! How can someone making her amount with a boyfriend in school POSSIBLY afford the hospital bill alone!?!