At my wits ends

Gone. Thanks everyone.

Aww   Did something happen at school or on the bus?

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Aww   Did something happen at school or on the bus? "

Gone.

He's obviously upset about something or overwhelmed with the day. Instead of trying to reason with him about his "attitude", I'd try to find out what is really bothering him. Kids are just entitled to their feelings of discontent as we are.

Sounds frustrating! Is he getting enough sleep?

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" Nope. His teacher writes me notes daily about his behavior/happenings of the day and she said he had ... [snip!] ... me. When DH's here he is very mannerful and honestly his behavior is amazing. It's like he knows I'm weak or something.  "

Do they have a good relationship? I'm not judging you at all but I know my LO acts out more if we don't get good one on one time together, could that maybe be it?

Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:" He's obviously upset about something or overwhelmed with the day. Instead of trying to reason with him ... [snip!] ... "attitude", I'd try to find out what is really bothering him. Kids are just entitled to their feelings of discontent as we are."

Gone.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I understand he's entitled to his feelings and I'm not saying he isn't but I did ask him what was wrong, ... [snip!] ... it's not fair he didn't get to use it. I understand he's upset about the tablet but his reaction to it was VERY uncalled for. "

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while it may seem that what he's upset over is the tablet, when really the tablet not being charged was the triggering event not the actual problem. Overtired, overwhelmed, something new going on, something more abstract, etc. could really be why he's crying and he just thinks it's the tablet. My son does this all the time. He'll be underlying upset for a while then something will trigger a tantrum. What I've found is more helpful than trying to "reason" with him while in tantrum mode is to hug him and tell him I love him then we'll talk about it after. Like he'll tell me "Maggie touched my toys" but digging a little deeper it's really "I'm tired" or "I got pushed at school today and the teacher didn't notice".

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Do they have a good relationship? I'm not judging you at all but I know my LO acts out more if we don't get good one on one time together, could that maybe be it? "

Gone....

Quoting Fatty McRunnerPants:" I guess what I'm trying to say is that while it may seem that what he's upset over is the tablet, when ... [snip!] ... my toys" but digging a little deeper it's really "I'm tired" or "I got pushed at school today and the teacher didn't notice"."

Idk maybe I could dig a little deeper.

We've had a problem with his outbursts for a couple years now. He almost got suspended last year for knocking over another SN's girl ( by headbutting her in the knees) because he was told he couldn't have something.

Quoting Zbornak:" Sounds frustrating! Is he getting enough sleep?"

I think so. He goes to bed every night at 8 wakes up at 7-715 ish.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" They have a good relationship. Maybe we just need some one on one time. I've been changing my approach ... [snip!] ... and Drs that he has the ability to walk but with my constant babying of him I'm hindering him from succeeding.  . "

Hmm. Well what do you think? Do you think it's helping more? I think there can be a happy medium. Generally when I'm being impatient that's when I get more assertive and I know for my LO it has a negative effect.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Hmm. Well what do you think? Do you think it's helping more? I think there can be a happy medium. Generally ... [snip!] ... medium. Generally when I'm being impatient that's when I get more assertive and I know for my LO it has a negative effect. "

I honestly think like you said I need to find a happy medium in all of this. He's doing awesome with walking and can now walk about 1000ft in his walker which he refused to do beforehand. But I think I need to stay away from either extreme. I can't be to assertive but I can't go back to get sooo damn laid back. He needs to realize when I say clean your room it means clean your room, same with take a bath, and it's time to eat etc.

I know I can't let him walk all over me ( like I use to) but I know it's going to do nothing if I'm overly assertive. Idk, I'm just stuck. I feel like smurf when I yell at him, but it brings me to the brink of a mental breakdown listening to an 8 year old cry for 30-45 minutes at a time. Idk, I honestly feel lost.  .

I try to change directions with him and I always resort back to my babying ways. And it's NOT good for him for me to allow him to act like a baby at the age of 8. I mean he still poops and pees his pants JUST because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing to go to the bathroom( he has NO problems with his intestines or bladder), he does it in school to get out of work* ( he hasn't this year knock on wood but last year his teacher had to call a meeting over it and everything). I refuse to let him use his handicapped as an excuse in his life.. So why do I think it's okay for ME to use it as an excuse for him to continue his ways? Idk.  .

Sorry for unloading all that on you. Lol.


** He would LITERALLY tell the teacher I don't want to do Math.. She would respond with well you have to it's part of the school day. And he would say," Well I'm going to just poop/pee in my pants so I have to be changed and miss it. And sure enough he would IN FACT poop or pee in his pants to get out of it.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I honestly think like you said I need to find a happy medium in all of this. He's doing awesome with ... [snip!] ... in my pants so I have to be changed and miss it. And sure enough he would IN FACT poop or pee in his pants to get out of it."

Haha don't be sorry.  

Yeah I can see how both extremes could be detrimental. My LO is not that old yet and I'm sure the crying like that just gets more and more frustrating as they get older. It sounds like you have a good attitude about it though, you know he's capable. I think you should go with your gut, I'm sure you know the happy medium that will work best for you guys. And sometimes if it works better for you to relax a little in certain situations I'm sure you're not going to be babying him or hindering him in any way.  

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Haha don't be sorry.   Yeah I can see how both extremes could be detrimental. My LO is not that old ... [snip!] ... for you to relax a little in certain situations I'm sure you're not going to be babying him or hindering him in any way.   "

Thank you for listening and all the helpful advice.

It's just harder than smurf to keep a positive attitude on days like today, on top of PMS and fighting with DH what seems to be nonstop lately. ( Which come to think about it could be part of the reason he's upset I guess just from the tension in the air).

And I hope that one day soon I can find that happy medium to keep my sanity and so he can reach his full potential.