re: Bible Accountability

<blockquote><b>Quoting I♥MyTots:</b>" That's great. What are you going to school for? I've been going since fall of 2008. I started out with ... [snip!] ... I've been on the deans list and I've maintained a gpa of 3.1 or higher. I hope I'm approved. I'm waiting on the phone call now."</blockquote>

Awwe I'm praying mama!!!

I'm going for ece. I did my AA at a community college from winter 08 until the end of fall 09. I had previous credits from dual enrolling there in hs. Then in the winter 10 I started online school through a college in Illinois for ece as well for my BA. This has taken me a lot longer than anticipated because I was going FT but my depression has been so on and off I ended up dropping down to 2 classes instead of 3 two summers ago. Then Ive taken 2 quarters off for a mental break, once last fall (like 2011) and once this past summer. And now I had to take this quarter off for the baby   but once I go back in April I can do 2 classes a quarter for spring, summer, and fall then I'll finally be done. Gah I can't wait. I'm beginning to hate school. I started out all hung ho but now it's just stressful and feels like a chore. It's just taken too long and I'm ready to be done. I didn't know you could get senioritis in college haha

Ugh! I have been in two threads in the last two days, on BG, that have really, REALLY pissed me off. I normally don't use harsh language but so far I have been called someone who is hurting the cause of breastfeeding by preferring to nurse in private and I RAPE APOLOGIST.

I need a BG BREAK. Some of these women are horrid.

Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:" Ugh! I have been in two threads in the last two days, on BG, that have really, REALLY pissed me off. ... [snip!] ... of breastfeeding by preferring to nurse in private and I RAPE APOLOGIST. I need a BG BREAK. Some of these women are horrid."

*hugs* I'm sorry.  

I've taken several BG breaks, I understand.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~Julie Blue Eyes~:</b>" Ugh! I have been in two threads in the last two days, on BG, that have really, REALLY pissed me off. ... [snip!] ... of breastfeeding by preferring to nurse in private and I RAPE APOLOGIST. I need a BG BREAK. Some of these women are horrid."</blockquote>



  I just try to keep out of drama. If I feel drama is being started I just bail out. I'm not very confrontational. I say my bit and leave it at that if it gets to be too much. Just let it go mama. It's just the Internet  

I'm slacking on reading. I'm 4 days behind, now 5 since it's technically Friday.   I feel like God is going to punish me for not reading the bible like I said and I'm going to not get accepted for the appeal.

*goes back to reading*

I really need some advice...

I'm obviously trying to work this lying issue out with Sam. I am a firm
Believer in working things out. I treat our relationship as I would in marriage because I know we will be married and we have a family to say together for. So I am trying to be forgiving and show grace towards him for what he has done and keeps doing. But I feel almost as if I am punishing him. I do not want to punish him because that is not my job. I am not here to judge. But its hard because how long do I have to endure this mistrust? When does there become a point where I am disrespecting myself? I know the change in him needs to come from God but I can't make him accept that and change. But I also don't feel as if I Gould hold that against him. I feel like I should continue like I always have with forgiveness and put my hurt aside and trust that god has this.

I hope this is making sense. I guess it's hard to explain. But basically I feel like I am punishing him for what he has done, when it is not my place. I want to show grace and stick by him even though I've been hurt, but how much do I have to endure? I want him to change, but that's not in my hands, but gods. Do I forgive and go back full heartedly like nothing happened or stick with my guns and make him work for this? But see then I'm making my love contingent on his change, which is not my intention. I feel as though I should love him unconditionally, which means even whenshe messes up. But I just don't know how to find the right balance between respecting myself, being faithful, and loving unconditionally. Should I trust in god and continue to live the way I feel is right and follows what go would want me to do, Which is by foreignness and grace? I mean look how many times Jesus was betrayed and he still continued to show unconditional love and forgiveness. I feel this is how I should live as well because that's what god intended for me. But it's so hard when I'm hurting so much.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Quoting I♥MyTots:" I'm slacking on reading. I'm 4 days behind, now 5 since it's technically Friday.   I feel like God ... [snip!] ... to punish me for not reading the bible like I said and I'm going to not get accepted for the appeal. *goes back to reading*"

You approach the mercy seat. It's all about that relationship with him, we are going to fail on our own...we can do NOTHING without Him. But ask Him for help, ask Him to give you self discipline, etc. And let Him do His thing!

Quoting lolajessup:" I really need some advice... I'm obviously trying to work this lying issue out with Sam. I am a firm ... [snip!] ... as well because that's what god intended for me. But it's so hard when I'm hurting so much. Any advice would be appreciated."

You can forgive, but demand changes. Forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion -- the emotions follow as God begins to change your heart. <3

<blockquote><b>Quoting sassy chef:</b>" You can forgive, but demand changes. Forgiveness is a choice, not an emotion -- the emotions follow as God begins to change your heart. <3 "</blockquote>


How do I demand change without it beig contingent on a punishment? I'm just stuck between feeling like I'm trying to punish him, but I do not feel like thats my place.   ugh. All I wanna do is cry.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting sassy chef:</b>" You can forgive, but demand changes. Forgiveness ... [snip!] ... just stuck between feeling like I'm trying to punish him, but I do not feel like thats my place.   ugh. All I wanna do is cry."

If you demand marriage counseling that isn't to punish him, that is to save your marriage (I'm not sure of your specifics, but using that as an example.) Also, I think when you start to go into this and you are pouring your heart out in prayer, and asking God to give you the words to talk to your husband....it will change the way you approach it all. If that makes sense.

<blockquote><b>Quoting sassy chef:</b>" If you demand marriage counseling that isn't to punish him, that is to save your marriage (I'm not sure ... [snip!] ... asking God to give you the words to talk to your husband....it will change the way you approach it all. If that makes sense. "</blockquote>

Thanks. It's just so hard. I hate this. I do. I don't want to be upset. I don't want to be hurt. I want it all to be ok   but I just cant control what he does. I'm trying to be the best person I can and accept that we are all sinners and we all mess up. But I just don't know how to make him realize how much his actions hurt me.

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting sassy chef:</b>" If you demand marriage counseling that isn't ... [snip!] ... accept that we are all sinners and we all mess up. But I just don't know how to make him realize how much his actions hurt me."

Praying for you, hun. I know it is a hard balance to find.

Quoting sassy chef:" You approach the mercy seat. It's all about that relationship with him, we are going to fail on our ... [snip!] ... own...we can do NOTHING without Him. But ask Him for help, ask Him to give you self discipline, etc. And let Him do His thing!"

I caught up last night. It took me two hours but it felt so good. I'm back on track! I just need to read today's reading which I have all day to do.   And I was appealed. So happy!

Quoting I♥MyTots:" I caught up last night. It took me two hours but it felt so good. I'm back on track! I just need to read today's reading which I have all day to do.   And I was appealed. So happy!"

One thing that helps me is to have a set time...if I don't have a set time, I don't do it.

Quoting sassy chef:" One thing that helps me is to have a set time...if I don't have a set time, I don't do it."

I can't do a set time because I never know what i'm doing one minute from the next. These kids keep me on all 10 toes.