re: Bible Accountability

Quoting lolajessup:" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so ... [snip!] ... I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough."

I am so sorry, hun. Perhaps God has you on bedrest, in the hospital, for "for a such a time as this" (as he did Esther.) Pour yourself into God's word, pray, sing songs or praise. Use this time to 100% dedicate yourself to HIM. Let him start to reveal your next step, to calm your heart, and to give you the peace and strength that only He can provide. That is what I would do.

I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'll go pray for you this morning before my kids wake up. <3

Going to attempt to type by memory, Colossians first few verses of chapter 1, Holman-Christian-Standard...

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by God's will and Timothy our brother: To the saints at Collase, our faithful brothers. Grace and peace to you from God our father. We always thank God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you. For we have heard of your faith in Jesus Christ and of the love you have for all of the saints because of the hope reserved for you in Heaven.

I still get a little stuttery at the part I put in bold, but overall I think I have the first few verses memorized! I'll keep working on them until Monday, and then I'll try to add three more! If I do around 3 verses a week, it will take a little over 6 months and I'll have it memorized.

Walking in Memphis:

Yes there's a ton. Most of it to do with social media. A couple more serious things not social media wise. But it just always makes me wonder what things I didn't find out, ya know. I also get the gut feelings. Just like I did yesterday but I tried to convince myself otherwise because I WANT to trust him. I want to make it work. But it just feels like I'm the only one because he chooses not to change. If he would just tell me I could deal with it. If he would have just said "I wanted you to know I broke our FB rules" then we could have solved the problem together. But he doesn't. He just does it and justifies himself for Doing it. I really do think it's an addiction. Idk if he needs counseling or what. Because obviously me trying to hold him accountable isn't enough for him to change. I wanted to be enough for him to wan to change. But I guess this is deeper than me. Idk. I don't want to give up because I do want to be with him and I do want to make this work. But it's not his turn to prove it. Everytime I'm the one that cries, I'm the one who hurts, I'm the one who steps it up to try harder and fix it. This time I'm not doing it. I'm gonna sit back and watch him fix himself for once. I can't keep trying to fix him. If he didn't want to change its not going to change. So he needs to prove himself to me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Walking in Memphis:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mommeee™:</b>" Thank you. When I initially found ... [snip!] ... and throw back in his face. It's something that I've said I've forgave him over but truly haven't been able to let go of yet."</blockquote>

That's how I feel too. I wanna get over it. I have forgiven him in a sense. But it's the trust. I shouldn't automatically have to trust him just because I forgive him. The past things still do hurt. Especially the one big thing he did a few yrs ago that almost broke us up completely. We had to go to CPUs eking and everything because I couldn't talk or look at him for weeks. Finally he set us up with a counselor. I feel like if he was going to change that should have Been the time we. We wiped the slate clean. But I guess me staying just made him think he can do anything he wants and get away with it. Idk.

Oh to answer the BG question you asked before I forgot to answer. He always tries to bring bg Into it. I tell him it is always logged in on my phone. He has full rein of my stuff. Plus most of it besides pm's is public so he can go on here without my acct and see what I've posted. But I also tell him I'm not the one who lies and goes. Whine his back. I have a guilty consience. If I feel guilt I Hve to talk about it. I am easily guilted by stupid stuff. Ive never done anything to betray his trust. I've messed up yes but I always confess. I don't hide it and let him find out the hard way. Plus I tell him most of what I do on bg is help people with things I am passionate about and know a lot about, like Bfing. Theres certain posts I always open if I see them. I don't usually post too many of my own posts. And If I do it's because he asks me to see what the ladies of bg think.

<blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" I am so sorry, hun. Perhaps God has you on bedrest, in the hospital, for "for a such a time as this" ... [snip!] ... That is what I would do. I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'll go pray for you this morning before my kids wake up. <3 "</blockquote>

Thank you. I will do that. I'm just do lost and I do need god to show me what to do.

<blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" Going to attempt to type by memory, Colossians first few verses of chapter 1, Holman-Christian-Standard... ... [snip!] ... I'll try to add three more! If I do around 3 verses a week, it will take a little over 6 months and I'll have it memorized. "</blockquote>


Awesome mama!!! You're doing so good  

Ladies, Passion 2013 is taking place right now. It's a major concert at the Georgia Dome for college kids but artists like Lecrae, Chris Tomlin perform. They are also trying to raise money for the #enditmovement for ending slavery. If you'd like to watch it live, I am. Chris Tomlin is currently on stage. They also are performing tomorrow....

http://268generation.com/passion2013/

Quoting Mommeee™:" Ladies, Passion 2013 is taking place right now. It's a major concert at the Georgia Dome for college ... [snip!] ... it live, I am. Chris Tomlin is currently on stage. They also are performing tomorrow.... http://268generation.com/passion2013/"

Very cool! We're going to go see Chris Tomlin in March! I'm so excited.

I did not wake up in time this morning to read my Bible, please pray that I get a good chunk of time to do it still. I don't want to fall apart already!

Quoting the grace life:" I did not wake up in time this morning to read my Bible, please pray that I get a good chunk of time to do it still. I don't want to fall apart already! "

I'll pray for you!

<blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" I did not wake up in time this morning to read my Bible, please pray that I get a good chunk of time to do it still. I don't want to fall apart already! "</blockquote>

Can u do it before bed? Do your kids nap anymore?

Today is my youngest daughter's birthday! I created a thread in my latest topics so you can see pictures of her. Pray for another healthy and happy year for her!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommeee™:</b>" Today is my youngest daughter's birthday! I created a thread in my latest topics so you can see pictures of her. Pray for another healthy and happy year for her!"</blockquote>

Awwe!!! I'm gonna go look now  

Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting the grace life:</b>" I did not wake up in time this morning ... [snip!] ... to do it still. I don't want to fall apart already! "</blockquote> Can u do it before bed? Do your kids nap anymore?"

No naps. Grrr! I CAN do it before bed, I just honestly don't like to...and generally, if I don't do it in the AM I'm toast. I just for whatever reason do a downward spiral. With that said, DH is at work until later tonight, so I should be able to sit down and do it before he gets home.

So I bombed big time on this Daniel Fast. I didn't plan financially for it and after talking with DH we just can't afford to do it and make two meals for everyone(I can't get the kids or my brother to do the fast with us).
So I'm giving up babygaga for the remainder of my fast. I'll see you guys in 20 days