Quoting lolajessup:" Ladies I'm falling apart and I don't know what to do anymore. SO lied to me again. I've been trying so ... [snip!] ... I want this to work but I just can't ever heal because it never stops. He always relapses. I dont know when enough is enough."
I am so sorry, hun. Perhaps God has you on bedrest, in the hospital, for "for a such a time as this" (as he did Esther.) Pour yourself into God's word, pray, sing songs or praise. Use this time to 100% dedicate yourself to HIM. Let him start to reveal your next step, to calm your heart, and to give you the peace and strength that only He can provide. That is what I would do.
I'm so sorry you are hurting. I'll go pray for you this morning before my kids wake up. <3