Forums > Single Parentingby: Bel & KJ's Momma

Losing my mind!

posted 23rd Sep
I'm a single mom of two girls, Bel is 4 and KJ is almost 2. Bel has always been able to play by herself..she kind of goes off and does her own thing. Kinleigh on the otherhand constantly has to be right next to me. I can't even pee without her hanging on my leg or sitting on my lap. I know that both of the girls went through a lot lately (I just got out of an abusive relationship with KJ's father..he is currently in jail for having so many DV arrests in a short time). I'm not sure if the clingyness is just her reaction to the sudden abcense of her father or what, but it's getting to the point where I can't handle it! She is always whining now to. Almost her entire wake periods are spent whining and fussing. I give her plenty of attention, we get out of the house and do fun things, etc. Having someone constantly on top of me (even though she is super adorable) is driving me nuts! She won't even go to anyone else, and if I walk out of a room (even to use the restroom) even if my family is around to play with her/hold her, she cries! Any suggestions on how I can transition her out of this phase? There must be something I can do.
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I have 2 kids & live in Kansas
posted 23rd Sep
it might honestly be the fact that her father was abusive to you.. did she witness it? when i was an infant my mother was married to a man who was abusive and he did it in front of me... to this day i still flinch if someone even catches me off guard and i think they might hit me.. i was exactly the same way your saying she is for the longest time... your gonna just have to let her grow out of it..
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I have 2 kids & live in Ohio
posted 23rd Sep
Quoting mommy2noah&crystel:" it might honestly be the fact that her father was abusive to you.. did she witness it? when i was an ... [snip!] ... hit me.. i was exactly the same way your saying she is for the longest time... your gonna just have to let her grow out of it.."
Luckily, most of the abuse did not occur around the children. The last time it happened before I finally had the courage to get out was the only time the children have ever been around. That was what did it for me. I honestly think that has a lot to do with it, I just wish there was some way for me to help her, because that can't be healthy.  
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I have 2 kids & live in Kansas
posted 23rd Sep
you could see about getting in to someone to evaluate and make sure there is nothing seriously wrong with her behaviour because of it...
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I have 2 kids & live in Ohio
posted 23rd Sep
My daughter is the same way she is 3. Her father will be in jail possible the rest of his life and since he has been out of the picture she has been extra clingy. If I go get the mail, use the bathroom, take a bath, she always wants to be right there. Maybe she doesn't quite understand her daddy why her daddy is gone and she may fear you might be gone soon too?
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I have 3 kids & live in Cleveland, Ohio
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