re: All done.

wow i am so sorry you are going thru this i think you talking about it and getting it out is a wonderful thing and you should be very proud of yourself for admiting this and that you are looking for help that is wonderful

i wish i could say more to help but i know i cant   i am really so sorry you are feeling this way i really hope it gets better

Quoting Momma x 2:" It sounds like you are taking the proper steps to try and get things sorted. I really hope you can get ... [snip!] ... your son doesn't pick this vibe up from you, young children don't understand why and tend to blame themselves for everything  "

I'm sure it's too late for that. This has been going on for a while now.

I think I compare myself to BG moms too often.

Quoting LysW:" I'm sorry you feel this way...... Maybe take a few days of alone time, and rest and try to rejuvenate. ... [snip!] ... and valued.. Where is his dad? How does he feel about him? Grandparents? Anyone that can step in right now and help you out."

I would get little baking projects together for us to do. We've done a few from Pinterest and he's loved them all. But now, when it's getting late, all I want him to do is go to bed. The last thing I want is to be in close proximity because I know if something small happens, I'll either blow up or start bawling my eyes out.

Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" I'm sure it's too late for that. This has been going on for a while now. I think I compare myself to BG moms too often. "

compare yourself to me!!! i promise you will feel alot better im a mess right now lol

Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" No, that's the problem... DH and I are in the same boat. "

Does he have anyone else in his life like aunts/uncles or godparents? Maybe if he could spend the weekend with something he could get some attention and you two can have a break from him. I'm sorry that you feel like that every single day. *hugs*

Are you against getting having him medicated if he does have ADHD? My brother had ADHD and I have ADD. We were smurfing horrible but our adderall really helped us. I'm actually surprised my mom didn't kill one of us while we were growing up.

I'm still going through a lot of this with my 11m/o. I just made a post today about how I can't even stand for her to touch me sometimes. I'm so depressed that I dread waking up and taking care of my own baby or doing anything at all. I just don't want to be around her some days because I feel like such a smurf mom for thinking the way I do.

I let my mom and grandma take her for two days, and I missed the HELL out of her. It's awful to admit this, but I need more time away from her right now while I get my head right. Maybe two-three days a week someone will help me with her for a few hours, and she goes to my grandma's house on Saturdays.

It kills me because she's so young and I know she needs ME, but having time away from her makes it so much easier to get through. I didn't want a baby, I didn't want this life this early, and I sure didn't want to have a baby with a deadbeat dad. But I have it, and I do love her. I honestly do. Sometimes, I just hate being around her, though.

I'm getting better, at least. I can say that, so I know you'll get better, too.

Quoting she nan igans:" Have you tried to spend some time with just him? See if you can make some "Mommy Son" dates with him. ... [snip!] ... point you also have to develop a sort of friendship, with him as a person instead of just as your "kid" you know? *hugs*"

I always hope that you'll respond to my crisis threads like this one. Heh.

It's smurffy to say, and I have a knot in my throat as I type this, but I don't WANT to do stuff with him. I just want to be left alone or I want do something with my husband. His company makes me want to punch kittens. And it makes me sad because I used to look forward to going on Mommy/Son dates to Taco Bell and stuff when he was 2 or 3..

Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" I would get little baking projects together for us to do. We've done a few from Pinterest and he's loved ... [snip!] ... I want is to be in close proximity because I know if something small happens, I'll either blow up or start bawling my eyes out."

When my DD is driving me mad at night, i throw her in the bath and i sit in there and read a book or sit RIGHT outside the door and read...... it helps. She loves bath time and will stay in for an hour haha i know it is bad but sometimes i just need a break and to her i am giving her something she loves to do.. so she doesn't realize shes driving me crazy.. i just lay a bunch of towels down to help with the the splashing. I hope you find things that help........

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:</b>" No need to apologize. You're always around to offer me advice and I appreciate you more than you know <3"</blockquote>




I'm sitting here wracking(sp?) my brain, trying to think of what would have helped me when I was at that point, and idk.  
It's such a smurffy place to be. Just know that you aren't alone, it happens to really good moms. You are not a crappy parent. You are just in a really bad spot.

Quoting LysW:" When my DD is driving me mad at night, i throw her in the bath and i sit in there and read a book or ... [snip!] ... driving me crazy.. i just lay a bunch of towels down to help with the the splashing. I hope you find things that help........ "

I appreciate that.

And to answer your question from before, no, we don't have anyone around. We're a military family and almost 1,000 from family. I think that's the most overwhelming thing. If we were closer to home, this wouldn't be a problem. My mom lives for hanging out with her grandkids.

Quoting Kimber-Lily:" I can completely understand how you feel, I've been there and sometimes I fall back into it. What really ... [snip!] ... fan, but I think it's normal not to like someone every single day of the week. So I don't believe you are a crappy parent."

I appreciate that, really.

Sometimes I'm just like "holy smurf, when is it gonna be time for ME?" I've been selfish as smurf lately. I just want to be left alone so I can play video games and not have to worry about somebody just for a little while.

Quoting i LOVE my meatballs:" wow i am so sorry you are going thru this i think you talking about it and getting it out is a wonderful ... [snip!] ... i wish i could say more to help but i know i cant   i am really so sorry you are feeling this way i really hope it gets better"

You said plenty   Encouragement is nice. Thank you mama <3

I'm in a similar place right now. Right before I got pregnant I was on Celexa and Xanax. I was able to do things, started feeling better, and even losing weight. Then I got pregnant. I don't want to do anything. Every little thing dd does makes me crazy, and I snap way more than I should. She just wants to be around me and I jut want to be alone. I've been getting panic attacks and I am agoraphobic. Even though I want to leave, I don't have the energy or the motivation, and I get extremely anxious when I do. It's awful. I feel so guilty. She'll try to lay with me and I'll ask her to lay somewhere else, and she looks pitiful and says "I just want to lay wif you." They are putting me back on Celexa and I'm hoping it helps.

I really hope you find some meds that work for you and help you out. You are not a crappy parent. At least you're trying to fix it.

Quoting Mrs. Potato Dick:" I always hope that you'll respond to my crisis threads like this one. Heh. It's smurffy to say, and ... [snip!] ... And it makes me sad because I used to look forward to going on Mommy/Son dates to Taco Bell and stuff when he was 2 or 3.."

I know love =( I'm sorry, and this may not sound good, but maybe desensitization will help. . . As in spending time with him doing some fun things will help you reconnect, help you find that good place with him again.

If you are having a really hard time with him, then part of the behavior may be partly due to that. As in, if someone knows they'll get attention for acting bad, they'll do it! So perhaps by fostering some good attention and time for oyu guys, his behavior will get better too. He'll find he doesn't need to act like that anymore.

I think the meds may help too, but I can from personal experience is sucks to go through this on the other hand too. My Mom had a great relationship with my sister, but not with me. We were just so different. I wish she'd tried harder to form a good relationship with me too. It's not easy, because as they grow up they become their own people, and sometimes those people are ones we'd want to kick in the face if they weren't family, lol.

That's the thing though, it might be a vicious cycle. You don't want to be around him because of his behavior, but his behavior DEMANDS a response, so he keeps doing it, making you want to be around him less and making him act up more in response. Maybe some time with just you guys again will help break that.

Maybe someone can watch your daughter and you and your husband and him can spend some time together? He might also feel a little replaced (not your fault, I think all older kids do sometimes) since having your daughter.

Quoting Serena van der Woodsen:" Does he have anyone else in his life like aunts/uncles or godparents? Maybe if he could spend the weekend ... [snip!] ... horrible but our adderall really helped us. I'm actually surprised my mom didn't kill one of us while we were growing up."

No, I'm not against it. If it'll help and help him in school, then how could I be against that ya know? His schoolwork is suffering and he's keeping other kids from learning, too. I can't let that continue.

No, it's just us. It's horrible, but he spent 3 week in 2011 and 2 weeks in June with my parents and the entire time I was dreading having to go back and pick him up   I struggled to enjoy my time with DH just because I knew it was so short lived.