dont know to keep my baby daddy in my childs life or not

I am 6 weeks pregnant and i have been with my baby daddy for over a year. throughout our relationship he cheated on me with his first baby mamma and does not keep a job. He lives with me for free, eats for free, and gets rides off me whenever he can.. im 18 pay for my own apt, car, and im putting myself through college. Im tierd of supporting my baby daddy but i want him in my childs life. i grew up without a dad and it affected me a lot. but with how much of a screw up my baby daddy is idk if having him in my child's life would help or hurt it. i still love my baby daddy im just trying to think of what is best for my child. any advice?

stop supporting him
make him get a job,if hes living with you make him help pay rent.pay for gas,food ect
tell him if he doesnt shape up soon then youre done with him

and DONT stay with him just for the baby

..tell him how you feel , tell him you are the mother of a baby not a grown man who makes babies.. try an get him relize he is a free loader an pray he steps up !

<blockquote><b>Quoting Brae Warnock:</b>" I am 6 weeks pregnant and i have been with my baby daddy for over a year. throughout our relationship ... [snip!] ... life would help or hurt it. i still love my baby daddy im just trying to think of what is best for my child. any advice?"</blockquote>




You can have him in your lchilds life without you supporting him push him out of the nest see if he can fly on his own you got enough on your plate this my be the push he needs or he will never change

When I debated leaving my husband the hardest battle in my mind was "what if he doesn't have a relationship with his son anymore?"

The best thing anyone told me was: "It's not up to you whether or not your child and their father have a relationship. If they want to have a relationship, they will."

Focus on your relationship with BD (whether you want to have one or not) and let him decide whether or not to be a part of your child's life.

Just because you want him in your childs life does not mean you have to support him. Tell him to grow up and get a job. He's going to be a father. My son's father was very similar to that. We broke up and he moved outta state. He's finally coming back around and trying to be part of his child's life. But if he decides to stop coming around then that's on him not me. My door is always open for him to come see his son and one day my son will know that.

when i told him to go get a job and live with his mom and that i wasnt giving him rides anymore he got very angry and started yelling at me. He says that he cant get a job living with his mom cuz there is no one to take him to work. he just makes lots of excuses and tries to make me feel bad for standing up to him. he says he will not be civil with me unless we are together and living together

Quoting Brae Warnock:" when i told him to go get a job and live with his mom and that i wasnt giving him rides anymore he got ... [snip!] ... to make me feel bad for standing up to him. he says he will not be civil with me unless we are together and living together"

how old is he?
he needs to get a lisence,a car and a job

Quoting Brae Warnock:" when i told him to go get a job and live with his mom and that i wasnt giving him rides anymore he got ... [snip!] ... to make me feel bad for standing up to him. he says he will not be civil with me unless we are together and living together"

Don't let him control you like that. He's an idiot. If he won't be civil then smurf him. Me and my BD didn't speak for 4 months of my pregnancy and then he realized what a dumbass he was being.

That is a very tough decision and one that only you can make. Here is a story about my family that may help you:

My mom decided to raise my sister alone. Then she met my dad when my sister was 2. They got married and he legally adopted her and they had 2 more kids (me and my brother). We were one unified family, I have never thought of my sister as a half-sister and I didn't even know that our dad wasn't her bio dad until I was around 10 and looked at my parents wedding ablum (she was the flower girl so they had to explain). Weekends, holidays, all the days of the year we were one unified family together. My sister did not know who her birth father was until my mom gave her his name when she was 32 and she was married with a child of her own (because she wanted to find out about genetic history).

Ask yourself what sort of a family you want to build with your child and if your boyfriend is the man you need. Is he the type of man that you want to be an example of what a man is to your child? Don't make your decision based on who he could hypothetically be but who he IS now, today. Be a realist. it is your choice whose name goes on the BC or if you choose to leave it blank.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone for the adivice i knew that is what i should do. its just extremly hard i dont want to go through this alone.

Does he like to see his first child and spend time with him/her? I was going to ask if he takes care of his first little one, but since he doesnt have a job, I can guess that answer. lol

Quoting Brae Warnock:" when i told him to go get a job and live with his mom and that i wasnt giving him rides anymore he got ... [snip!] ... to make me feel bad for standing up to him. he says he will not be civil with me unless we are together and living together"

Wow he sounds like a real gem. He is black mailing you to support him... Yeah, kick his butt to the curb and let him sink or swim. If he doesnt wanna be in his childs life, you cant force him, and honestly he doesnt exactly sound like the type of guy who is going to help and step up when the baby gets here just because he lives with you...

Quoting Brae Warnock:" when i told him to go get a job and live with his mom and that i wasnt giving him rides anymore he got ... [snip!] ... to make me feel bad for standing up to him. he says he will not be civil with me unless we are together and living together"

My SO tried to tell me the same thing when we were fighting for a while. He told me that if him and I werent in a relationship, then he didnt want to see DD. I said, "That's fine, you'll be missing out on everything, not me."

He is a very good father to his first child his 1 year old son. he gets him every other weekend and takes care of him very well. He is a great father just not a great supporter or husband material. that is why im having such a hard time deciding if i want him in the child's life. i know that he would be there for my kid just not financially. and i cant take him always trying to fight with me to force me to stay together with him.