Is my friend right?

Back story.



I have had a guy friend for like 8 years. 6 of the 8 years he has been with this girl whom he is now married too. We only speak when we see each other and its only a smile and a hey. Nothing ever happened with us. Before he got with his now wife we *like 6-9 of us* would sit outside his cousins house and just talk and joke around. When he got with her he kept his distance for everyone. When he was around when we would talk to him the girls and I kept it short so nothing was taken out of complex cause he was in a relationship which we respected.

Now.
They are separated. She cheated. He texted me the other day *my number has been the same since I was 14* He was taking his kids to Mr. Gattis and wanted to know if my son and I wanted to meet them there just to hang out and to give our kids someone to play with for the day. I told him no, I didn't feel comfortable doing it out of respect to his wife. I really wanted to cause my son had been asking to go the day before.

He has asked to hang out in a public place together, asked if I wanted to go to a local restaurant and get a bite to eat and talk, lastly he asked me to go to the movies with him this weekend.

I keep telling him no that I don't think it would be a good idea cause he is still married and even if she cheated I have respect for the marriage. He says he understands the situation. However, he doesn't really care how his wife feels about it she didn't care about him when she was with the other guy. That they are over, the only reason why they have anything to do with each other is the kids when he calls them or goes to get them and take them home.

My friend thinks it means no harm to meet him out in public for the kids to play, or for him and I to get a bite to eat and just talk then go about our way. She also thinks us going to see a movie is a good idea. *not in my book its not*



Is she right? Should I just meet him one day for lunch? Or should I stand my ground?

Stand your ground and be true to your morals

Quoting A.Ramirez's Mommy:" Back story. I have had a guy friend for like 8 years. 6 of the 8 years he has been with this girl ... [snip!] ... good idea. *not in my book its not* Is she right? Should I just meet him one day for lunch? Or should I stand my ground? "

I think that people assume too much with cheating... going to the movies with a married man isn't causing him to cheat. You two are friends... hang out, he needs a friend right now. Just tell him nothing intimate cannot happen until the divorce is final, if that's where you both want to be.

Also, if the marriage is over, it's over. What is a piece of paper??

Quoting momma melissa85:" Stand your ground and be true to your morals"

I can just see your avi saying that.  

The marriage is over.... he can date. Or hang out with friends if he so chooses. It's not cheating -- there's no emotional connection to his wife anymore, other than the kids. It could take years for the divorce to finalize. He's supposed to stay single the whole time?

Meh. I'd go out to dinner with him and get the kids together. But I guess that's just me.

Well you guys are just friends letting your kids play so i don't see how it could be a bad thing and you did say you had respect for his wife so you can't feel bad thinking your doing something that is coming between them as long as you keep it friends.

Quoting kthx.:" The marriage is over.... he can date. Or hang out with friends if he so chooses. It's not cheating -- ... [snip!] ... to stay single the whole time? Meh. I'd go out to dinner with him and get the kids together. But I guess that's just me."

That's true... My mom's divorce wasn't even finalized when she married my dad! lmao It took like 2 or 3 years for it to get finalized.

Marriage is more than a piece of paper...

Quoting kthx.:" The marriage is over.... he can date. Or hang out with friends if he so chooses. It's not cheating -- ... [snip!] ... to stay single the whole time? Meh. I'd go out to dinner with him and get the kids together. But I guess that's just me."

This. He's not asking for sex, he just needs a friend, and you guys go way back. I don't see any problem with getting your kids together.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" I think that people assume too much with cheating... going to the movies with a married man isn't causing ... [snip!] ... divorce is final, if that's where you both want to be. Also, if the marriage is over, it's over. What is a piece of paper??"

 

<blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" I can just see your avi saying that.  "</blockquote>




Lmao

Ijs she doesn't want to be a rebound. They didn't hang out like that when he was married and if she wants more I'm sure she will want to be respect ted.

And yes Mr. Barack Bush would say the same while getting his junk fondled at the movies  

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" I think that people assume too much with cheating... going to the movies with a married man isn't causing ... [snip!] ... divorce is final, if that's where you both want to be. Also, if the marriage is over, it's over. What is a piece of paper??"

I'm not saying it is cheating on his part. I just don't like drama and I work with his cousins wife and she seen his name in my text messages and asked me about it and I told her cause she knows I know most of that family. She told me "His wife is just a bitch."

I don't like drama and she has just seems like one to cause it.

I just don't want to be looked at as "that girl" when NOTHING is going on or will go on.

I really don't think there's anything wrong with going to meet up with a friend to let your kids play, regardless if you are the opposite sex or not. Would you tell your chick friends no? Then why tell your dude friend no?

Just because he's married doesn't mean you can't go out as friends, just don't smurf him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting kthx.:</b>" The marriage is over.... he can date. Or hang out with friends if he so chooses. It's not cheating -- ... [snip!] ... to stay single the whole time? Meh. I'd go out to dinner with him and get the kids together. But I guess that's just me."</blockquote>


Definitely this!!

Thanks mommas I think I will just tell him tomorrow maybe when I get off on Saturday we can get the kids together and let them play.

Quoting momma melissa85:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:</b>" I can just see your avi saying that. ... [snip!] ... she will want to be respect ted. And yes Mr. Barack Bush would say the same while getting his junk fondled at the movies  "

Definitely do not want more then friendship with him at all. He knows this as well.