re: Child support stuff

Quoting ellemarisha:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Yurvette [♥]:</b>" Then why are you still with him? "</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... Just useless at parenting I suppose.. He has some growing up to do. But I fell in love with him before our baby came along.."

It doesn't matter what the law said. You're in a relationship with an individual that fathered your child.

You are NOT a single mom.

If he's even "just cuddled" the baby as you said, then he's done more for you guys than the father of my child has done for us.

If you really think he's "useless" as a parent, then drop him. Sure, you might love him, but you should love your child enough to want someone around that's going to give to them emotionally 100%.

Tell him that you need him to be there emotionally and financially for that child. If he won't, then drop the dead wait and get his ass for child support.

But if you haven't "asked" him to do any of this, then it's not just his fault.

I really don't see how you dare to say you're a single parent when you're still with the father of your child. That makes absolutely no sense to me.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" It doesn't matter what the law said. You're in a relationship with an individual that fathered your ... [snip!] ... you dare to say you're a single parent when you're still with the father of your child. That makes absolutely no sense to me."</blockquote>




Our situations are clearly different. But this child is solely in my care. That's like saying that if you were dating a guy your not a single parent.. Even if the kid never met the guy or something. Don't bother debating with me the level of 'single parenting' when you are comparing a situation you don't know a lot about to your own life. We have all come from different places and have different lives.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ellemarisha:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" It doesn't matter what the law said. ... [snip!] ... a situation you don't know a lot about to your own life. We have all come from different places and have different lives."</blockquote>




If you are with the father of your child you are not a single parents there's no gray area

Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ellemarisha:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma ... [snip!] ... lives."</blockquote> If you are with the father of your child you are not a single parents there's no gray area"

Exactly.

OP, if he isn't pulling his weight, then that's on you. If you were just dating, yeah, no one would expect the guy to be ready to be a dad. But you guys have been together for a while, he knew you were pregnant, he knew what you were going to have.

If he's not being there for you and your child and you're going around telling everyone you're a single mom when you're not, you need to just dump him.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ellemarisha:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" It doesn't matter what the law said. ... [snip!] ... a situation you don't know a lot about to your own life. We have all come from different places and have different lives."</blockquote>




You're not single parenting your child. Your son is twelve days old, give the dad some time to adjust (he may not know how exactly to be a father yet) if there is something you need help with just ask him. I garuntee if you take him to court it will cause a lot of unneeded drama and if he wanted joint custody if he could take you to court. You may be the primary caregiver but unless you have a court document stating you have sole legal and physical custody I'd be hesitant to start a war.

Quoting Chellie and Tyce:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ellemarisha:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma ... [snip!] ... caregiver but unless you have a court document stating you have sole legal and physical custody I'd be hesitant to start a war."

He's twelve days old? Ugh.. I didn't even know that.

How many opportunities has he even had to see him with him working and you going to school?

<blockquote><b>Quoting ellemarisha:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting º×ß¡±©µ×º:</b>" you should get a job ..."</blockquote> Yeah no kidding, but at the moment I'm at Uni and looking after my 12 day old baby..."</blockquote>




!!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" He's twelve days old? Ugh.. I didn't even know that. How many opportunities has he even had to see him with him working and you going to school? "</blockquote>




Exactly!

Okay guys chill out a bit ey. I just wanted advice on child support, and where I live that doesn't consist of going to court. I don't really give a crap about this single parenting debate cause that's not what this post was about.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:</b>" He's twelve days old? Ugh.. I didn't even know that. How many opportunities has he even had to see him with him working and you going to school? "</blockquote>




He hasn't been working since he was born and I'm doing my degree online.. Just to clear that one up. And I have asked him for help.

Andddd. Also to clear up the 'you should get a job' comment, I was modeling before I got pregnant, and I'm now getting back into shape so I can continue, so I'm not working at the moment. And with just becoming a mum and my Uni degree, I have the more important priorty of looking after my baby. As I'm the only one that will.

Despite what all the other moms are saying, my personal opinion is, I would file. If your state requires you file within the first 13 weeks.
If he clearly isnt stepping up now then you should protect yourself for the future.. If he truly loves you, he'd understand that she/hes his responsibility too!
And as far as how much of a 'single mom' she is.. I totally think shes a single mom.
She doesn't live with her SO and from what I can tell isnt helping out with the child.
Sounds to me like your a single mom with a boyfriend. who just happens to be the BD.. No offense.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lorelei's Mommy ♥:</b>" Despite what all the other moms are saying, my personal opinion is, I would file. If your state requires ... [snip!] ... helping out with the child. Sounds to me like your a single mom with a boyfriend. who just happens to be the BD.. No offense."</blockquote>




Thankyou! And no offense taken.. That's just how it is.
And yeah I called the child support people and they also talked to him and he is okay with child support... Only because if i dont file all other sole parenting benefits from the government get reduced. Thank goodness! I was terrified it would end in an arguement.

Quoting ellemarisha:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Lorelei's Mommy ♥:</b>" Despite what all the other moms ... [snip!] ... other sole parenting benefits from the government get reduced. Thank goodness! I was terrified it would end in an arguement."

Thats good! Good luck!