allllll gone

Thank you everyone for your input!

Maybe not joint custody, but definitly visitation

They are two totally different things

I would say no but then again I'm not a judge. I think they will maybe do supervised visitation

My guess is prob not but I didn't think they'd give joint custody to someone with previous assault charges either.... 

Awesome!! I only worry because I hear CT is very pro joint custody and its hard to fight it. Theres more negative to say about them but I dont want to put to much out there. Im totally fine with visitation, but joint custody or even having the baby over at his parents house I am not okay with. Obviously I know Ill have to wait to see what the judge decides but I just wanted opinions.

Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*::" Awesome!! I only worry because I hear CT is very pro joint custody and its hard to fight it. Theres more ... [snip!] ... parents house I am not okay with. Obviously I know Ill have to wait to see what the judge decides but I just wanted opinions."

If he gets visitation, he can take the kid wherever he wants. And if he lives with his parents, then he will be taking the child there

And visitation can be overnights as well

Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:

Get all your ducks in a row before you go and make sure you have proof to back it up. They are very pro joint here as well. But yea no matter what he will still get visitation. I'm not sure if they release DHS records or not but if you could get those that would be great...pictures of the house ect. When we went to court the judge disregarded everything I had to say because it was "he said/she said".

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" If he gets visitation, he can take the kid wherever he wants. And if he lives with his parents, then he will be taking the child there And visitation can be overnights as well"</blockquote>




Ah damn. Well he already said he doesnt want overnights because his parents dont want to have interupted sleep and whatnot, to much responsibility so I guess I could deal with that.

Quoting ----&&:" My guess is prob not but I didn't think they'd give joint custody to someone with previous assault charges either.... "

Really? That's crazy!! I don't know if maybe it's your state but in CA one of my best friends SD lost custody because he has previous abuse & anger management issues.

Quoting ℳonster's ℳom:" Really? That's crazy!! I don't know if maybe it's your state but in CA one of my best friends SD lost custody because he has previous abuse & anger management issues."

Yea we won't go there....basically his family knew people at that county's DA office and court system and when my lawyer tried to get the case moved to another county they accused us of judge shopping and denied it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ----&&:</b>" Get all your ducks in a row before you go and make sure you have proof to back it up. They are very pro ... [snip!] ... of the house ect. When we went to court the judge disregarded everything I had to say because it was "he said/she said"."</blockquote>




Thats what Im worried about. The he said she said nonsense that I know will happen because my ex is a crazy liar and is trying to make smurf difficult. He doesnt even want the kid, hes just doing what his parents are telling him to do because hes incapable of being an adult and making his own decisions. I dont know how to go about getting records though, could my lawyer do that? Like there should be records of the police being at his house many times because his sister is a pyscho and goes around punching walls and throwing lamps at her parents etc. Domestic stuff pretty much. Can I get those records, I would think no?

Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*:

You can get police reports yes...at least here anyways. You can ask your lawyer to do, they will charge you more but they may have an easier time of getting the info. They are probably going to make you go to mediation first, if that's the case be really adamant about what you want. You will also have a better chance of getting what you want if you can make it seem like you have a bunch of stuff against him. Because there its not up to the judge its totally between you two.

Quoting :*:CHRiSTiNe:*::" DO NOT QUOTE PLEASE! Joint custody to the sperm donor say if he doesnt have a job, no car, is sleeping ... [snip!] ... pretty much their whole childhood. What do you think the outcome of a living situation like that would be like? Just curious."

Well depending on where you live, in MY opinion
You'd probably get joint custody but be the parental guardian.
You'd have to prove he is that unfit.
and in CA its nearly impossible to get full custody as far as being able to make legal/medical/school decisions without the other parent.
I have joint custody but am the parental guardian. My BD only gets 18 hours of visitation a week.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ----&&:</b>" You can get police reports yes...at least here anyways. You can ask your lawyer to do, they will charge ... [snip!] ... can make it seem like you have a bunch of stuff against him. Because there its not up to the judge its totally between you two."</blockquote>



Yeah they make you do mediation here before hand. I plan on being very adamant on what I want. I know that his living situation and lifestyle is not something a child should be involved in. Ill just have to go get all the proof I have and cross my fingers I get my way.