It probably is, but I think I deserve to be... here's the story..
my fiance is getting is son for the summer. His ex FINALLY signed a paper saying that he could go to Oregon and bring Karter back to Alaska. The paper says that we can have Karter from June 1st until October 1st. This is awesome news. It really is. It's been a year since the bitch took off without permission and she hasn't been very willing to allow Heath to have Karter even though there is no court ordered custody agreement.
But here's the down side of this... We're getting married the 7th of June. And I think it's going to be too stressful around here for everyone (even Karter) that first week of June. I think my fiance should wait until after the wedding to go get Karter. He could even leave the day after and I'd be ok with that. I just want to be able to concentrate on the wedding that week, you know? But if we have Karter I'm going to have to be getting used to another toddler in the house instead of concentrating on the big day. Honestly, I want my wedding day to be about me and my fiance. Not about his 2 year old son. I'm sorry. I really understand that my fiance deserves to have his son and I know the boy will be better off with us. I just wish we were getting him after the wedding. It's stressful enough to plan a wedding alone in 6 weeks, I don't need any added stress.
So, my question is this - would it be selfish of me to ask my fiance to wait until the 8th to go get Karter? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

Wow, that's kind of a tough situation. Um..I would probably bring it up and see what he thinks? Just tell him how you feel about it. I'm sorry I'm not much help.

Quoting Maddy&Dylan's Mommy:“ It probably is, but I think I deserve to be... here's the story.. my fiance is getting is son for the ... [snip!] ... this - would it be selfish of me to ask my fiance to wait until the 8th to go get Karter? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?”

Think about if it were you and someone had taken off with your child and not let you see him or her...would you wait one second longer than you had to?

That's tough...but think of it this way...if you had a toddler from a previous relationship wouldnt you want them to share in your special day? everything will turn out fine...remember that although its nice to have a beautiful ceremony, the more important thing is that you make your committment to each other with friends and family

I wouldn't say you're being a selfish bitch, but I wonder why you wouldn't want Karter there for the wedding. Any big day like that is going to be stressful. One more toddler isn't going to break your day. Best of luck to you all! Your fiance may want to pursue custody rights through the courts, too.

we all understand you want your day, but his son should be a part of that. He is your son too now. Good luck

It's his wedding, too, and if he wants his son there, then you should let him

Getting married is such an important thing for the both of you. And I think that your SO deserves to have his son there with him on such an improtant day!!!

He should be made to feel a part of that day, EVEN if he is only two. Like someone else said he is now your son too! Just think about that!

Youll be stressed either way. Why not just let the boy be there?

Quoting ethensmom:“ we all understand you want your day, but his son should be a part of that. He is your son too now. Good luck”

I COMPLETELY agree that Karter is my son now too. My fiance has accepted my daughter and I will do the same for him. In fact, I want him to file for custody as soon as we get Karter in our care..
I just think it's going to be hard on Karter coming into an environment where he doesn't know anyone and isnt getting the attention he's going to need right away. It's not that I dont want him there for the big day. I just don't think a couple days before the wedding is a good time for him to come because he wont have time to get to know me or my daughter or the new baby or even his dad before the wedding. I think that we need to bring him into our house when things are normal and not so crazy. That way we can spend the time with him that he's going to need.. I could care less if my wedding doesn't go EXACTLY as I want it to. But I do care about that little boy..

i think it is selffish of you because he has waited long enough to see his son..maybe he wants him at the wedding.. i wouldnt ask him to wait any longer because she may change her mind if u try and tell her to wait another week till u pick up the little boy.. u need to take inconsideration how ur hubby how feel... n u need to realize once ur married that litt;e boy is apart of ur life too

Quoting Noelles Mama:“ Getting married is such an important thing for the both of you. And I think that your SO deserves to ... [snip!] ... else said he is now your son too! Just think about that! Youll be stressed either way. Why not just let the boy be there?”

this isn't about the wedding being ruined or anything. It's about not having the time to devote to him when he gets here...

Quoting giannamomma422:“ i think it is selffish of you because he has waited long enough to see his son..maybe he wants him at ... [snip!] ... to take inconsideration how ur hubby how feel... n u need to realize once ur married that litt;e boy is apart of ur life too”

he's the one that told her we wanted him June 1st. But she wants us to wait until June 15th so that her oldest is out of school and whatnot. And, honestly, that's probably a better idea because we've been telling Wayde (my fiance's ex's oldest) that he could come spend a few weeks with us this summer. If my fiance goes down on the 1st to get Karter then he's just going to have to fly back to oregon a couple weeks later to get Wayde. And we can't really afford that....

Quoting Maddy&Dylan's Mommy:“ this isn't about the wedding being ruined or anything. It's about not having the time to devote to him when he gets here...”

So INCLUDE him, not IGNORE him.

Quoting Mrs.Dani 37 wks Left!:“ So INCLUDE him, not IGNORE him.”

exactly make him feel wanted ...and show him alittle attention thats all the little boy needs

I understand wanting your day all to yourself but that's his son. It does not sound like that big of a deal. I think you are being a tad bit selfish on this one.