3,4,3?

how does this work exactly. the joint custody 3,4,3 deal?

bd went off the deep end and chose drinking instead of spending time with me, he says i'm a crazy bitch with mental issues and that if i take him back to court, he'll get the kids even more. i'm still pregnant with our second.

but with our first he said tomorrow he's showing up to start his four days. i don't think i have a copy of our court order because we were supposed to be moving into our new place together in a few days. and i don't know how to get ahold of my lawyer. i'm really concerned now. what if i'm doing something wrong. do i just have to hand her over? we've never followed the order because we were *almost* always together.

Can you explain the 3,4, 3 thing a little bit?

If you're worried about your child, just keep them from him. You will go back to court and explain why you did what you did.
If you're not worried about your childs safety, then just let him have them I guess?

Quoting Becky☮Will:" Can you explain the 3,4, 3 thing a little bit? If you're worried about your child, just keep them from ... [snip!] ... and explain why you did what you did. If you're not worried about your childs safety, then just let him have them I guess?"

3 days with one parent, then four days with one parent, then 3 days with one parent, etc.

Quoting Evelyn Lilianas Mama:" 3 days with one parent, then four days with one parent, then 3 days with one parent, etc. "

So you get 3 days and he gets 4?
Every week?

my moms boyfriend does this with his son
he stays with them friday though monday and with his mom rest of the week
they also switch weekends

Ok so I guess the real question is, are you scared for your childs safety and thats why you don't want them to go with him?

not to scare you, and i really dont know iowa at all, but in nc there are a few catches! if there was a custody agreement that has been in place that you say yall never followed, i assume that the agreement does not anywhere state, "law enforced". which means, if you give him the baby and fear he wont give her back, he really doesnt have to. in nc, even with a judged signed agreement for custody, if it doesnt say "law enforced", then the agreement isnt worth the paper its printed on. "physical custody" is what matters, which is whoever has the child with them at that moment! my bf and his ex has an agreement. we know! if she decides to break the agreement and keep the children from him, there is nothing that can be done! all he can do (he has full custody of his children) is get a lawyer to get her for contempt of court charges for violating the judges agreement. thats all! i wish you the best of luck, and i dont know anything about the 3,4,3 thing. i would say call your lawyer and see what they have to say, they will know your case better then any of us and also they will know your laws better then we can! best of luck!