Feeling lonely and empty

Had a medical abortion last Thursday,and currently have a week off from work to recover. At first when I opted for the abortion I thought I would be absolutely fine, as I knew that me and my partner had been careless and this was something we definitely did not need. On the actual day, the nurses were very friendly, non-judgemental and helpful, they made everything easier. I had pessaries inserted every two hours,and on the third, I started with excruciating pain. Nothing like period pain at all, and it was at that moment where it became apparent what I was actually doing/giving up. After everything had passed, I was able to go home, and the following day it was my niece's first birthday party. I spent the entire party with a miserable look on my face 'cos all I could think about all the time, was what I had done. My family and partner have been very supportive throughout this entire time, but I am just one of those type of people that cannot communicate emotions very well. Basically, I need some help and advice from them that have been in the same situation as me, I can't help but regret this decision I have made when I see young mums coping perfectly well every day. If they can do it why can't I? I feel alone and empty, and I really am at a loss of what to do and where to turn to. Please help. Thanks in advance.

I think it is normal for a woman who has chosen to terminate to have feelings of guilt. Even moreso attending a childs birthday party. If you did not feel any regreat at all, that would be MORE concerning.
I think you need to keep in mind the reasons you made that decision. While everything can look like sunshine and roses from an outsider, that does not mean that another mother is not struggling or would be if in your situation.

Im sorry you are having a hard time.  

Quoting .Colleen.:" I think it is normal for a woman who has chosen to terminate to have feelings of guilt. Even moreso attending ... [snip!] ... sunshine and roses from an outsider, that does not mean that another mother is not struggling or would be if in your situation."

This....

It took me a while to be fine after my abortion. It was hard. I have finally coped with it and knew it was the best choice for me and my situation.

I've heard it's normal, and I get that, I really do. I had no idea it would affect me the way it has.   The last thing I want to do is speak to a counsellor, and I can't even get an appointment for another 4-6 weeks. I really want to speak to my partner about it, and he just doesn't get it, he has a learning disability, and it's very hard sometimes. I don't want to speak to my family, as I don't want to come across as that vulnerable and upset to them.

Is there anything you found helps to keep your mind off it.

Quoting kirstiebee:" I've heard it's normal, and I get that, I really do. I had no idea it would affect me the way it has. ... [snip!] ... very hard sometimes. I don't want to speak to my family, as I don't want to come across as that vulnerable and upset to them."

It is normal. I would set up an appt for a therapist. You need to get your feelings out. It is totally normal.

Quoting kirstiebee:" Is there anything you found helps to keep your mind off it. "

Not really... I had a 2 year old son to take care of. I was already in a toxic abusive relationship... So every fight it was brought back up that I was a baby killer and I was heartless.

Quoting kirstiebee:" I've heard it's normal, and I get that, I really do. I had no idea it would affect me the way it has. ... [snip!] ... very hard sometimes. I don't want to speak to my family, as I don't want to come across as that vulnerable and upset to them."

Do you know anyone personally who has gone through this?

I think you need to seek others in your situation so that you clearly understand that this feeling is normal and certainly will not last forever.
Give yourself time to come to terms with it.

Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" Not really... I had a 2 year old son to take care of. I was already in a toxic abusive relationship... So every fight it was brought back up that I was a baby killer and I was heartless."

  That's horrible, hope you're ok now

Quoting .Colleen.:" Do you know anyone personally who has gone through this? I think you need to seek others in your ... [snip!] ... understand that this feeling is normal and certainly will not last forever. Give yourself time to come to terms with it."

I don't know if its one of them things that doesn't get spoken about a lot. Cos I don't know anyone personally who has gone through it, there should be some kind of groups. Or is there? I dont know.

Quoting kirstiebee:"   That's horrible, hope you're ok now"

Yeah I am. I am not in a toxic relationship anymore. It will get better with time. <3

Quoting kirstiebee:" I don't know if its one of them things that doesn't get spoken about a lot. Cos I don't know anyone personally who has gone through it, there should be some kind of groups. Or is there? I dont know."

You can post on here.

Quoting Yurvon [♥]:" You can post on here. "

I don't even know where to start, I work at a supermarket, and I was working on the saturday after, but every little thing reminded me of it and it was just too much. I was being really foolish for thinking it wouldn't bother me

<blockquote><b>Quoting kirstiebee:</b>" Had a medical abortion last Thursday,and currently have a week off from work to recover. At first when ... [snip!] ... can't I? I feel alone and empty, and I really am at a loss of what to do and where to turn to. Please help. Thanks in advance. "</blockquote>




Im sorry babe...its an awful feeling im in the same boat as you...ky abortion was 8 days ago, and this has been the hardest time of my life, i signed up for an post abortion recovery womens group...we meet once a week for 11weeks, i hope it helps me. Try googling places around where you live that can help