BD met son for the 1st time

Man, I am overwhelmed with emotion and have been for the past week. My son's father met DS (almost 10 months old) for the first time today. It was so awkward, anxiety producing, and just weird. I never would have thought things would have turned out this way. BD lives with his new girlfriend and her 2 yr old son. He doesn't have a job but babysits her child and plays step daddy role. He put forth no effort into meeting his son (his mom set it all up for him). I only agreed because I needed some kind of closure. It was good to see the truth about him and that he hasn't changed. (Not good for my son having a father, but at least now I now we aren't missing anything). Today was intense. At least my son wasn't old enough to remember this or him if he decides not to be around.

Same here. BD seen his son 3 times and hasnt seen him since he was 7 weeks old, he is 7 months now. His mom has a car and tell him go see your son. She texts me and ask if he can come. I know im not missing out on anything cause when he comes over I do everything. He's mainly after me though, like when he came over he focused on me more than our son. His mom text me today and said she was gonna buy my son a walker but his dad should be doing that ya know!

Quoting Cassius' Mommy  :" Same here. BD seen his son 3 times and hasnt seen him since he was 7 weeks old, he is 7 months now. His ... [snip!] ... more than our son. His mom text me today and said she was gonna buy my son a walker but his dad should be doing that ya know!"

Yes girl I know what you mean...Ugh at this point I just feel it's better for him to just stay away if he's not planning on steppin up. I'm so over it. I am def a better of single mama.

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" Yes girl I know what you mean...Ugh at this point I just feel it's better for him to just stay away if he's not planning on steppin up. I'm so over it. I am def a better of single mama. "

My mom made that decision for me and I have never felt like I missed out on one thing. My sisters' dad was there and a deadbeat/prick and they are both still, as grown adults, affected by his negative roll in their lives, and they both chose at different points on their own to cut him out anyway.

IMO it is WAY way better to have no father than a deadbeat. If you honestly feel like he will not add anything to his life AND he shows no interest anyway, you are only doing your son a favorite by making this decision, I promise.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" My mom made that decision for me and I have never felt like I missed out on one thing. My sisters' ... [snip!] ... to his life AND he shows no interest anyway, you are only doing your son a favorite by making this decision, I promise."

Thank you for sharing your experience! Jeez this whole experience has been a whirlwind of fear, emotions, and doubts. I needed to have this moment but now I'm just hoping I didn't open up a can of worms. I'm hoping we can just go back into our normal routine and all without any drama coming from the meeting. I won't keep DS from his grandparents but I refuse to cater to BD who puts for zero effort and hasn't done anything to make me think he's changed or up for the challenge of "daddy".

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" Thank you for sharing your experience! Jeez this whole experience has been a whirlwind of fear, emotions, ... [snip!] ... cater to BD who puts for zero effort and hasn't done anything to make me think he's changed or up for the challenge of "daddy"."

How does he do with his gf's child? Do you know? That to me is just awful that he's there for someone else's child.

I think it's great of you to stay open to his parents.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" How does he do with his gf's child? Do you know? That to me is just awful that he's there for someone else's child. I think it's great of you to stay open to his parents."

BD parents are very much in denial about their son unfortunately. His mom say's "he's surprised us all, he's great with the baby". Well that made me cry when I heard of him being there for someone else's child. But then I thought, he's not financially obligated to this kid in any way.

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" BD parents are very much in denial about their son unfortunately. His mom say's "he's surprised us all, ... [snip!] ... heard of him being there for someone else's child. But then I thought, he's not financially obligated to this kid in any way. "

Thats hpow my bds mama is. She said she is very upset that he doesnt try harder. I told him I would come to his house but he has a gf now that disrespected me. He doesnt take care of someone elses child but his gf might as well be a kid since she acts like one smh. I cant just be like go away I dont ever wanna see you again cause BD is on child support. I havent got any money yet but he can see his son any saturday he wants.

Now BD wants to be friends on Facebook...no thanks. Gonna need a little more time before we're friends. But feel free to pay child support  

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" Now BD wants to be friends on Facebook...no thanks. Gonna need a little more time before we're friends. But feel free to pay child support  "

My bd's new gf tried adding me on fb, then when i denied her TWICE she got mad and messaged me telling me off. She mentioned my son alot telling me I need to add her to come to an understanding....smh she didnt even spell nothing correctly. Pissed me tf off!! I told bd and he handled it but I cant be friends with her. So she can be all in my business pshh!

Quoting Cassius' Mommy  :" My bd's new gf tried adding me on fb, then when i denied her TWICE she got mad and messaged me telling ... [snip!] ... Pissed me tf off!! I told bd and he handled it but I cant be friends with her. So she can be all in my business pshh!"

I don't blame you for wanting your privacy. And being "friends" on fb would just be unnecessary. I want to deactivate mine again but idk if i will. I just seriously want BD to leave us alone. If he were a good influence and didn't have a bunch of wrongs to make right it might be a different story.

Quoting ItsEasyIfYouTry:" I don't blame you for wanting your privacy. And being "friends" on fb would just be unnecessary. I ... [snip!] ... to leave us alone. If he were a good influence and didn't have a bunch of wrongs to make right it might be a different story."

I changed my name on fb so now bd cant find me. You can set it up to where if he adds you and you dont him it wont let him add you again.

Quoting Cassius' Mommy  :" I changed my name on fb so now bd cant find me. You can set it up to where if he adds you and you dont him it wont let him add you again."

I didn't know that. I had him blocked before. I'm planning on blocking again.

funny how they care for a child that its not their but won't give a damn for their own blood.smh

Quoting Mommy To Baby Rahul:" funny how they care for a child that its not their but won't give a damn for their own blood.smh"

Seriously. When I asked him why he never tried harder to meet his son he said, "I didn't know what else to do." He knows where I live, he never came over or sent a letter-nothing! As a loving mother I could not understand it. He said he "desensitized himself" and "made himself not care about either of us." Needless to say I will not be doing this again.