Quoting I Love Dem Baybees!:" LOL sounds like me, I like you already . Thank you for all of the advice, I know what you mean about ... [snip!] ... most of that is more physical and verbal than anything else. She is getting there though, I'm just dying to talk with her ."
My 3 yr olds speech is pretty average, some say it's great but i've heard other kids the same age more advanced, so i go with 'normal'. And cognitively, although a very sweet and caring child, he still doesn't seem to understand things in a way that frustrates me. I think having a good vocabulary or being relatively expressive can actually make things harder in terms of parenting sometimes... In a way that (when i'm stressed) because he can talk well, i expect he should have a better level of understanding that matches his speech. But really, he is a 3 year old and has the cognition of a 3 year old, and the impulse control of a 3 year old. So i get more frustrated with him because my expectations do not match up to his abilities. It's like the talking part tricks me lol. I think it also means that sometimes i expect him to be able to verbalize things rather than communicate by other means... but again in reality he's doing exactly what he should be for his age given the way they are supposed to develop.
Speech and behaviour, although linked, aren't precise indicators of the other. I don't find that i understand his feelings or abilities any better since he talks a lot. Infact if anything, it was easier to communicate with him, to understand him and be really intune with him, when he was preverbal. Talking with an under developed 3 year old mind just confuses things lol. The grass is always greener
In terms of sharing, i'd back off if it's difficult for her just now. Let her become confident and secure in what is hers, and naturally she will start to share when she's ready. It can only help her and your relationship, and therefore her ability to learn from you, if she feels understood by you. Seeing that her desire to keep her things close - something that currently feels very important to her - is valued by you, will help that phase be over with quicker. In terms of teaching i think often the best way is simply to model it ourselves. To share our things with them. So often parents keep things to themselves, kids eat different foods, sit separately, "don't touch that not for you" etc.. but just generally sharing our time, food, possessions etc they come to behave the same way naturally. No effort required lol
I think with every child and particularly special needs, the pressure of always moving forward, making progress and having to do everything in terms of preparing for the next stage, can get in the way. It can make it hard to have full confidence that a stage they are going through that would not be acceptable in adults (like not sharing) is ok for them to experience without being pushed out of it as quickly as possible. I've frequently found that to be one of the most stressful things about parenting. Ignoring other people's opinions and having trust in the natural learning process has been so liberating for me/us as a family and it's only had positive effects on behaviour.
I had to live in my parents house for 3 weeks just now and the stress of their expectations has driven me crazy and now i'm dealing with the aftermath in LO. I'm so glad to be unpacking in my own home right now, so i can relax again, and let my LO "indulge" in his preschooler'ness as much as a needs to without stressing, because i know it will pass and he'll be better for it.
Omdays i'm rambling, it's 2am here, apologies for the aimless novel lol