Relationships as a single mom.

I want to hear your biggest dating rules when it comes to dating as a single mom?

Watching this. I've been meaning to post a thread like this. =o

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" Watching this. I've been meaning to post a thread like this. =o"

I'm new to dating as a single mom so I wanted to know.

1. Me and my kids come as a package deal.
2. I am NOT a booty call  

Number one, do not rush into things. I have a friend who has 2 kids, and in the past 3 years, she's been married, divorced and has had at least 20 "serious" relationships, all of which she would introduce to the kid immediately, and had him calling them daddy   It's disgusting, and disturbing.

Quoting amc ❤:" I'm new to dating as a single mom so I wanted to know."

I've been on one or two dates, but I have a lot of problems being comfortable with dating as a single mom.

If a guy seems aloof to the idea that I have a child, it really bothers me. I assume that they don't understand the levity of the situation and can't fathom the lifestyle he's taking on if things become serious.

Saying "It's fine." and "Oh, it doesn't bother me." sounds like they really don't know what they're getting into.

I'm not looking to just date. If I ever do it in the future, it will be because I'm looking for a life partner and for a good role model to have around my baby.

I don't really see the point in dating for fun once you have kids, so I can't really do that. I've tried, it's not worth it.

They definitely have to be mature enough to understand it is a package deal. And I really would not introduce anyone to my kid until I knew they were interested in knowing them . If you are dating a guy for months and he has never asked to meet your kid. . . it could be time to move on. . . LOL

Quoting amc ❤:" I want to hear your biggest dating rules when it comes to dating as a single mom?"

Hmmm, no PDAs in front of my child or alienation of my childin any form. For all my child knew, the one guy I introduced her to was the same as any other friend. Otherwise, I try to keep all my situations to a minimum. Like when I get out of work late and she is at my mom's anyway. Then, Ill make a booty call and have my fun. If I meet the right guy, she'll meet him in due time. I'm not trying to rush her into anything. It's her and me for the time being.

The only dating rules I had when me and my fiance were on our time outs for a couple months at a time was...... 1. The guy knows I have a child but didnt get to meet my daughter until after I felt comfortable with him(Usually 2-3 months) 2. No sex until I knew how he reacted with my daughter and I!!(Playing, Attitude, Attention). & 3. Watch for a RED FLAG, If they are to anxious to meet you're child and ask way to many personal questions about them( To many pedophiles out there and thats the number one red flag to me!)
In the end the guys never amounted to anything because I realized A LOT! not all but a lot of guys think just cause I am a mom I am easy and left when they found out I wouldnt sleep with them so none got to meet my daughter!

Don't look for a new "daddy" for your kids.... look for a new partner.

That's one thing a lot of women do right off the bat. They weigh the guy up and down and try to see if he is "new daddy" material, especially if the sperm donor of her child is not in your lives.

Quoting Moses.:" Number one, do not rush into things. I have a friend who has 2 kids, and in the past 3 years, she's been ... [snip!] ... all of which she would introduce to the kid immediately, and had him calling them daddy   It's disgusting, and disturbing."

This is my main concern. I made the decision to date a long time friend of mine as of tonight. He's met my son before but on a friend level obviously, we have been talking about dating for a few weeks and decided to do so tonight. Unfortunately he doesn't live in my state, he comes once a month or so though to visit his brother. He is comming in October to visit, and I am debating whether I should allow him around my son seeing as they've already met or wait. I would never let my son call someone else daddy though.

Quoting Moses.:" Number one, do not rush into things. I have a friend who has 2 kids, and in the past 3 years, she's been ... [snip!] ... all of which she would introduce to the kid immediately, and had him calling them daddy   It's disgusting, and disturbing."

  i've been primarily a single mom since i was 16, i'm 24 (and not single) now and learned ALOT in those years.

But really, if nothing else. Just don't rush. A guy can know you and your kids are a package deal, without immediately involving your kids. When you do that, then break up with whoever, your kids just lost something too.

It's in no way cute or fun to rush into a 'family' type set up with someone you're casually dating. And so many people do that.

Don't settle, ever. When you have a chance to choose someone for you 'n your kids-- taking the time to making sure it's someone who deserves you guys is important. Just pay attention to red flags.

Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" Don't look for a new "daddy" for your kids.... look for a new partner. That's one thing a lot of women ... [snip!] ... guy up and down and try to see if he is "new daddy" material, especially if the sperm donor of her child is not in your lives. "

YES! for sure !

Quoting Rice+Beans:" Hmmm, no PDAs in front of my child or alienation of my childin any form. For all my child knew, the ... [snip!] ... meet the right guy, she'll meet him in due time. I'm not trying to rush her into anything. It's her and me for the time being."

<<< That is my train of thought, If my boyfriend did meet my boyfriendd there would be absolutely no PDA that way he would remain the same as he has always appeared to my son, a friend.

Quoting amc ❤:" This is my main concern. I made the decision to date a long time friend of mine as of tonight. He's ... [snip!] ... should allow him around my son seeing as they've already met or wait. I would never let my son call someone else daddy though."

In that situation, I wouldn't introduce him to your son on a relationship level, if that makes sense, until you know for sure it will work out. He's already met him and knows him. He doesn't need to know he's mommy's boyfriend just yet though, IMO.